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Dean Connects With Indian Group (Humor)
Self | January 2, 2004 | Sloth

Posted on 01/02/2004 12:34:27 PM PST by Sloth

[SIOUX CITY, IA] -- Vermont Governor Howard Dean, presumptive front-runner for the Democratic presidential nomination, made a brief campaign stop at yesterday's monthly conference of the Western Iowa Association of Indian-Americans. Chairman Sanjeev Sharma, M.D., and Vice Chairman Naveen Kumar commenced the meeting with some introductory remarks about the upcoming caucuses, Bobby Jindal's recent gubernatorial race in Louisiana and the outsourcing of technical employment to India-based firms.

Shortly thereafter, Governor Dean appeared from behind a curtain sporting buckskin pants, war paint and what appeared to be a child's plastic headdress. The Governor enthusiastically saluted the crowd with the Atlanta Braves' "Tomahawk chop" and an improvised rain dance.

"How. It heap big honor, be here with you," Dean began. "Me thank you and Great Spirit for chance to have pow-wow." Dean smiled and bowed to Sharma, saying, "You great medicine man. Me medicine man, too. Me proud to call you kemosabe."

"Me here on sad occasion, " the governor continued, turning to face the crowd. "Big chief Bush, him send heap many braves and squaws, fight in Iraq. Many braves and squaws scalped. If me big chief, no braves and squaws die. Me smoke-um peace pipe with Iraq."

The candidate then turned to domestic issues. "Me made chief of Vermont tribe many moons ago. Me heap experienced with budget process and fiscal mechanisms. If me big chief, me give you much wampum! Big chief Bush give no wampum, make squaws and papooses starve. Bush no help braves stop drinking firewater."

"Indians good," Mr. Dean concluded. "Dean good. Bush bad. May Great Spirit bless America."

Reaction was mixed within the audience. WIAIA board member Vinaya Chandrasekhar, an immigrant from Jamshedpur who works as an engineering consultant, seemed somewhat put out by the brevity and simplicity of Dean's message. "I do not understand why he said the things he did. I do not think he properly understands our interests," she said.

In contrast, Greg Packer, a highway maintenance worker from New York (not a member of the group), was very supportive of the governor's statements. "Me think chief Dean right on. War bad. Bush bad. Dean good. Dean make-um heap good big chief."

After the speech, Dean spoke with reporters and elaborated on his campaign strategy. "I try to reach out to people where they are. I want to show every demographic that I'm sensitive to their concerns and needs. These people are America. They're who I am. I am an Indian. I'm a poor migrant farm worker. I'm a teenage incest victim who needs an abortion. I'm a gun-toting bigot. Yo soy una soccer mom. That's the message we're trying to get across."

The governor said he prepared for the visit by listening to Paul Revere & the Raiders' Indian Reservation during the drive from the airport.

Dean subsequently made several other stops in the tri-country area; at the last, a speech before a chapter of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, he somberly recounted memories from his childhood. "I was watching a NASCAR game last week, and during half-time, I started thinking about how much I personally owe to organized labor. Growing up black in rural Mississippi was not easy. Before supper every night, Dick Gephardt's dad would remind our family that the union was the only reason there was food on our table."

"Me Howard Dean. Me next President of United States."


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: dean
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To: Sloth
That picture needs to become a Freeper classic over the next year.

Resolving for 2004
Bill

21 posted on 01/02/2004 2:48:29 PM PST by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: luvbach1
Me have native American blood.

Ugh!! Me have native American blood too.

Although me forebears came from England, Ireland and Scotland, still I a native born American.

Ugh! That make me a heap-big native American, right, Quien Sabe?

22 posted on 01/02/2004 2:51:48 PM PST by Ole Okie (Go Oklahoma Sooners! Down LSU!!)
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To: Sloth
Me heap good blood brother to gays too.

Ughh, that mean me brother to AIDS brothers ........
23 posted on 01/02/2004 2:52:54 PM PST by showme_the_Glory (No more rhyming, and I mean it! ..Anybody got a peanut.....)
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To: Sloth
shameless autobump
24 posted on 01/02/2004 4:15:11 PM PST by Sloth ("I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" -- Jacobim Mugatu, 'Zoolander')
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To: Sloth
shameless autobump
25 posted on 01/02/2004 7:38:52 PM PST by Sloth ("I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" -- Jacobim Mugatu, 'Zoolander')
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To: Sloth
ROTFLMAO!!!! Excellent
26 posted on 01/02/2004 9:59:45 PM PST by Arpege92
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To: Sloth
shameless autobump
27 posted on 01/03/2004 7:25:40 AM PST by Sloth ("I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" -- Jacobim Mugatu, 'Zoolander')
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To: Sloth
LOL!!

Hasn't dean traced his Native American roots back to the Pile-o'-Hockey Tribe, the first tribe to share their visions of grandeur with any explorer who would listen?? I believe he still shares those stories with his supporters.

28 posted on 01/03/2004 7:33:58 AM PST by small voice in the wilderness
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To: Sloth
shameless autobump
29 posted on 01/03/2004 6:03:44 PM PST by Sloth ("I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" -- Jacobim Mugatu, 'Zoolander')
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To: Sloth
Classic. Love the Greg Packer reference. I guess he came straight there from Hillary's latest book signing.

Dean is really good at identifying with various ethnic and regional segments of society, isn't he? (Not.) You captured the spirit of his campaign beautifully.
30 posted on 01/03/2004 6:12:56 PM PST by Rocky (Not a geezer yet, but it's in my next 5-year plan.)
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To: Sloth
You will feel like you are taking crazy pills during the 2004 election, in November. I think it is going to be the dirtiest, craziest, ugliest one yet!

Can you say President Hillary? Me, neither?

Why doesn't she use a LAST NAME?
31 posted on 01/04/2004 7:59:42 AM PST by buffyt (You don't have a leg to stand on, Howard Dean, because you have both feet in your mouth!)
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To: luvbach1
I am part Cherokee. I don't want Dean either.....
32 posted on 01/04/2004 8:00:18 AM PST by buffyt (You don't have a leg to stand on, Howard Dean, because you have both feet in your mouth!)
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To: TomGuy; NonValueAdded; jim35; AuH2ORepublican; PhyreFox; snippy_about_it; gridlock; Mr. Mulliner; ..
Pinging those who have responded favorably -- or at least neutrally :) -- to my parodies in the past.
33 posted on 01/04/2004 11:30:07 AM PST by Sloth ("I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" -- Jacobim Mugatu, 'Zoolander')
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To: Sloth
O M G ... ROFL!!!
34 posted on 01/04/2004 11:32:24 AM PST by Mo1 (House Work, If you do it right , will kill you!)
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To: Sloth
Thanks for the ping!
FUNNY!

35 posted on 01/04/2004 11:40:24 AM PST by hoosiermama (Prayers for all!)
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To: Sloth
Great job, very funny. Thanks for the ping.
36 posted on 01/04/2004 11:59:35 AM PST by bluerose
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To: Sloth
Funny bit ~ to bad the democrats are such a sorry lot.
37 posted on 01/04/2004 12:02:08 PM PST by blackie
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To: Sloth
GOOD ONE!
38 posted on 01/04/2004 12:03:35 PM PST by arasina
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To: Sloth
I just couldn't stop thinking of the F-Troop Indians. Looking for an image, I stumbled on this little gem:


39 posted on 01/04/2004 12:16:02 PM PST by ovrtaxt (You got an extra Communist Manifesto? I'm like totally out of toilet paper.)
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To: Sloth
Brilliant and a riot all the way through :-) I adore everything you write and thanks so much for the ping!

Dean is a heap, too true... a steaming one at that ;-)

40 posted on 01/04/2004 12:31:48 PM PST by Tamzee (EARTH FIRST!!! We'll stripmine the other planets later...)
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