You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe
My name is Joe, my father's name is Joe, two of my uncle's are Joe, my cousin's name is Joe, my aunt's name is Mary, my cousin's name is Mary. Shall I go on?
You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement)
My grandmother had a stove, fridge, and freezer in the basement. The stove was for baking pastry only.
When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street
Close, but not on the same street. Within a few blocks.
If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair
No affairs in my family. No one is even close to 6' tall.
Your grandfather had a fig tree
YES! I helped him cover it up every year.
When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli
Our Sunday "dinner" was at 12:00 PM, right after mass. The spaghetti and meatballs stayed warm on the stove all day after that for anyone who dropped by or got hungry later.
Your big family gatherings were held in your garage
No garage - they were held in the back yard, or at the Italian-American club across the street. My dad had his wedding reception in the back yard.
Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”
I got the trilogy on DVD for Christmas!
At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone
ME.
You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun
Both.
For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun
Not me, but my cousin (Joe!) did.
You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy"
It's sauce.
Your mom's meatballs are the best!
My grandmother's were the best. Mom's are OK and mine are pretty good.
Yep...my dad, brother, 2 uncles, grandfather and one of my sons named Joe. 6 aunts named Mary.
When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street
Huge family, most lived within walking distance of each other
If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair
yep, tallest person in family was 6'0
There were more than 28 people in your wedding party
Had 30 in ours.
Your big family gatherings were held in your garage
Backyard and garage
You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun
Both...more than once.
For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun
Thought seriously about priesthood.
Only thing is...Im Irish not Italian...lol
Your baptismal name is Luigi! (Hey Luwege!)
You know the words to the Ronzoni song!
Pasquale Caputo's description of an Itlaian football wedding is documented in your wedding pictures.
A couple of observations. He always stood too close to you when talking, literally would make you back up. When he was 21 he was about as handsome as they come. The girls were all crazy about him. By the time he was 50 he was starting to resemble a fairly handsome gorilla.
He was one of the most generous and kind hearted people I have ever known.
When she (descendant of William Brewster of Mayflower fame) married my dad (Sicilian), she couldn't cook anything Italian. They moved into an apartment above a local Italian bakery. The older Italian woman next door gave this recipe to her. The marriage survived, despite her parents shock and horror that their English/German daughter would stoop to marry an Italian!
here goes...
MOM¡¦S SPAGHETTI GRAVY
Meatballs
3 pounds hamburger
About 1 cup fresh bread (from Italian bread or rolls w/ crusts cut off¡Xin a pinch use light bread) Small amount of milk¡Xjust enough to moisten the bread 3 teaspoons salt (1 teaspoon per pound of meat) 1 or 1-1/2 teaspoons minced onion 1/2 cup Progresso Italian-style bread crumbs 3 eggs (1 egg per pound of meat) Tear the bread into pieces and soak in the milk. Add remaining ingredients and mix with electric mixer or by hand. Shape into meatballs (a little bigger than a golf ball¡Xsmaller than a tennis ball ƒº) Keep your hands moist while shaping meatballs¡Xhelps not to stick to hands and to be smooth without cracks or seams. Meatballs will almost look glazed with moisture. Bake about 30 minutes in 350 degree oven, preferably on broiler rack (or fry in a little olive oil). Sausages 1-1/2 pounds Italian sausages Cut sausages in 2-inch pieces. Brown sausages in small amount of olive oil over medium heat. Gravy 2 six-pound cans Hunts tomato sauce (1 can in each pot) 3 tablespoons sugar (1-1/2 tablespoons per six-pound can of sauce) About 2 teaspoons Italian seasoning (1 teaspoon per six-pound can of sauce) About 1 teaspoon garlic powder (1/2 teaspoon per six-pound can of sauce) Mix gravy ingredients, using two pots as indicated. Remove sausages from pan and add to gravy¡Xdivided between pots. Drain all but about 2 tablespoons oil from pan. Add about 3 tablespoons water to pan and swish around to loosen residue/browned bits¡Xadd to gravy, divided between pots. Add meatballs to gravy, divided between pots. Simmer gravy, meatballs, and sausages for about four hours (without lid) at a slow simmer, stirring occasionally. (If starts to spatter, cover about halfway.) Enjoy!
That is dead on!!!