You Know You're Italian If...

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[Mannaggia l'America]

A little New Year's humor...

You Know You're Italian If...

1. You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe
2. You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement)
3. When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street
4. When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs
5. If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair
6. There were more than 28 people in your wedding party
7. Your grandfather had a fig tree
8. You've always wanted a red Ferrari
9. When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli
10. Your big family gatherings were held in your garage
11. Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima
12. Connie Francis songs makes you cry
13. At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone
14. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun
15. You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture
16. You know all the words to “That’s Amore”
17. You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.”
18. You’ve been to the Vatican at least once
19. For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun
20. When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel
21. You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy"
22. Your mom's meatballs are the best!
23. If at least five of the above apply to you, congratulations!!! You’re Italian!

[jellybean]

I should have known you'd see this thread... :)

I haven't seen nor heard from stanz since early this morning. We did talk briefly on the phone last night. That was sooooo neat!!!

[cartoonistx]

Your list should include someone making ravioli on the bed!

[aristeides]

Thanks for the recipe. I guess it's not that hard to cook it myself, if I have to. (I made myself a holiday breakfast of Kaiserschmarren this morning, and that recipe was more complicated.) And dishes you make yourself generally taste better. But canned stuff sure is convenient, and Progresso Pasta Fagioli was plenty good enough for me, once I added pepper, tabasco sauce, and garlic powder to it.

[carlo3b]

We did talk briefly on the phone last night. That was sooooo neat!!!

The fuzzy slipper twins.. I should have known it!.. :)

[Prov1322]

You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy"

You fight over whether it's pasta, macaroni or "spagett" (don't know why they dropped the "i" since every word in Italian has more vowels than necessary!)

[GreatOne]

The reason for the many relatives named "Joe" could also stem from the tradition of the men naming their first born sons after their father. In my family, it's "Michael". His grandfather was a Michael, and he was the oldest. The first-born son of his brothers were named Michael. We identified them by saying, "Pat's Michael", "Louie's Michael", or "Richard's Michael". Louie's Michael named his first-born son Michael, so he's referred to as, "Louie's Michael's Michael".

Both my brother and myself have named our first-born sons Michael, and my newly-married younger brother will as well. The tradition continues!

[Alberta's Child]

Italian ping.

[carlo3b]

Don't kid yourself.. even a chef gets lazy.. I'll try the Progresso, when it happens next tme.. Happy New Year..

[in the Arena]

14.You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun

I'm not Italian but this one applies to me...in fact it was a nun that did both...Sister Rosario...about 4'2" and 90 years old when she put me in my place...rest her soul...

[RIGHT IN LAS VEGAS]

Trippa

Gutina

Prociutto with melon

gnocchi

Calamari and Polpo

Clams on the half-shell

Clams Casino

Knowing how to fold a slice of pizza

Trippa is my favorite, I make it better than anyone in my family.

[jellybean]

The fuzzy slipper twins.. I should have known it!.. :)

Mine are pink!

[bondserv]

You make meatballs with chopped meat.

Hamburgers are at MacDonalds.

[aristeides]

Happy New Year (or rather, considering the nature of this thread, buon capodanno)!

[jellybean]

Progrsso Soup is awesome! I don't see Pasta Fagioli listed, but I only scanned the list.

[truth_seeker]

"27. You know Christmas Eve as "fish night". This means at least 5 different courses of fish."

I've been granted "honorary Italian status" by my wife's family by virtue of our soon to be 36 years of marriage.

Both her sides come from the Bari region, and Christmas Eve fish is STILL followed.

They came from Bari directly to California (northern and southern). Anyone named DeMarzo out west is likely related, this being a rare surname, mainly from Bari.

Three years ago we had a reunion, numbering over one hundred (four generations), spanning three days. The host and hostess fed those people twice a day.

Big Pine, California was the site. Later this month a smaller group will gather in the East Bay suburbs.

The norm is in-tact families (few exceptions). Probably half have substituted protestant faiths, for their Catholic upbringing.

One nun; no mafiosa. Anybody had those nasty, sour marinated olives? Don't know a name for them.

[txzman]

Your grandfather had a fig tree

I never had (or even saw one that I know of) but now think I am going to buy one. I love the fruit, and even more Jesus' use of this tree in the Bible.

[CatoRenasci]

Italian in California is very different than Italian on the East Coast. Except for some very exclusive WASP circles (the ones that still don't have many jews), there has not been much, if any, discrimination against Italians since before WWII. And, even in those circles, there are Italian, although most of them were connected with the Bank of America families, the old aristocracy, came in the Gold Rush, or some combination thereof. (I know of one Italian gentelman who was a member of the exclusive Pacific Union Club in the first quarter of the 20th century, and several who were in the old, very exclusive, separate San Francisco social register)

And, for the most part, at least according to the information displays at Ellis Islan, the Italians who went to California came from Piedmont, Lombardy, Venetia and Genoa. On the East Coast, most of the Italians were from Southern Italy: Sicily, Naples, Calabria, etc. It is interesting to note that the immigration people classified the Northern Italians differently 'racially' than the Southern Italians.

At any rate, the Italians in California, by and large didn't look so "different" than the other whites who flowed into California in its youth and were more accepted. Many were educated, many were professionals: oenologists, teachers, lawyers, doctors, accountants. Poorer Italians were active in fishing (mostly Genovese) and truck farming, where they prospered, and often became respectable proprietors. There was never much of an urban Italian uneducated working class out West, as their as in the East.

[alisasny]

My Italian great grandmother served a dish with pasta only first. After that we had the meatballs sausage and or braciolle, and some fried chicken thighs. Salad was always last. No bread was served as that was what they ate during the depression and was forbidden on her table.

AND ITS SAUCE not gravy LOL

[notpoliticallycorewrecked]

Ya know I think that I am going to have to claim # 14 also- being hit with a spoon. I think that I was hit at dinner one night because I made the mistake of asking for more sauce instead of gravy.

Now I'm not the one arguing with you. Call it sauce, call it gravy, I don't care what you call it, JUST GIVE ME SO MORE.

But I'm sure that Papa N's headstone clearly states that it's gravy not sauce.

[AppyPappy]

ping