You Know You're Italian If...

Web | Unknown

[Mannaggia l'America]

A little New Year's humor...

You Know You're Italian If...

1. You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe
2. You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement)
3. When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street
4. When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs
5. If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair
6. There were more than 28 people in your wedding party
7. Your grandfather had a fig tree
8. You've always wanted a red Ferrari
9. When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli
10. Your big family gatherings were held in your garage
11. Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima
12. Connie Francis songs makes you cry
13. At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone
14. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun
15. You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture
16. You know all the words to “That’s Amore”
17. You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.”
18. You’ve been to the Vatican at least once
19. For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun
20. When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel
21. You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy"
22. Your mom's meatballs are the best!
23. If at least five of the above apply to you, congratulations!!! You’re Italian!

[carlo3b]

Reading this thread has been like traveling down an old familiar street. You know the one, every old neighborhood had it. Where you can hear the families yelling and radios playing Doo Wop, and Sinatra, and you can smell all of those wonderful smells coming from everywhere. Even the Italian ethnic enclaves "now called Ghettos" had a mixture of old world nationalities that lived together in perfect harmony. All type-casted, and profiled.. and nobody gave a damn, except about one another.

Family clusters of our Italians (Pizzeria, construction, trucking, pool hall, restaurants, bakery and beauty shops), the Irish (10 redheaded kids, corner bar, and the City cops), Jewish (The butcher shop, Pawn shops and clothing store), German (machine shop, carpenters, quiet sturdy, and respectable), Polish (bakery, home alterations), Chinese (restaurants, hand laundry) Greek (coffee shop, bakery, grocery), and the Social Clubs, where the WISEGUYS hung out... sigh. .

All those folks and all that food.. I can hear it, see it, and smell it all again.. Thanks so much.. :)

[SeeRushToldU_So]

A bump for a friend named Zaffino.

[Captiva]

Please don't posit your personal anecdotal experiences as scientific facts. Sounds like you married a emotionally immature girl with idiotic relatives.

If what you experienced is a fact than all black people love watermelon & sitting on the porch?

[stanz]

Some of the most unusual ingredients have found their way into the sauce. As for spices...you can never have too many.

[jellybean]

As for spices...you can never have too many.

I agree!!

I've been spicing it up this morning with a Marx Brothers marathon. Horse Feathers and Monkey Business so far. Next up Duck Soup and then The Coconuts. I love the Marx Brothers!!

[Victoria Delsoul]

See what I mean?.. like kissin your sister, something's missing . :(

There is definitely something lost in the translation, and it's not just the translation itself which loses some of the song's meaning but it's the essence of the song… that romantic tune… that especial flavor a song has when its sung in its original version. It's much like a Spanish guitar performance played on an electric guitar. Listen to this and imagine how it would sound on an electric guitar.

[stanz]

One Halloween ...back in the 70's, I was working Saturdays cutting hair. Since Halloween fell on a Saturday, we all dressed up in costume. I was Charlie Chaplin and one of the girls was Groucho. It was so much fun.

[jellybean]

Sounds like a blast!

Chico has always been my favorite! I think he's the funniest and most talented by far. Watching him play the piano is a highlight of any Marx Brother's film. Groucho is a close second, followed by Harpo. Zeppo may as well be the silent one. Does anyone even remember anything he's ever said in a movie??

[aMorePerfectUnion]

OK, here's my own dear mom's spaghetti sauce recipe - though she calls it gravy. But first, a brief history...

When she (descendant of William Brewster of Mayflower fame) married my dad (Sicilian), she couldn't cook anything Italian. They moved into an apartment above a local Italian bakery. The older Italian woman next door gave this recipe to her. The marriage survived, despite her parents shock and horror that their English/German daughter would stoop to marry an Italian!

here goes...

MOM¡¦S SPAGHETTI GRAVY

Meatballs

3 pounds hamburger
About 1 cup fresh bread (from Italian bread or rolls w/ crusts cut off¡Xin a pinch use light bread) Small amount of milk¡Xjust enough to moisten the bread 3 teaspoons salt (1 teaspoon per pound of meat) 1 or 1-1/2 teaspoons minced onion 1/2 cup Progresso Italian-style bread crumbs 3 eggs (1 egg per pound of meat) Tear the bread into pieces and soak in the milk. Add remaining ingredients and mix with electric mixer or by hand. Shape into meatballs (a little bigger than a golf ball¡Xsmaller than a tennis ball ƒº) Keep your hands moist while shaping meatballs¡Xhelps not to stick to hands and to be smooth without cracks or seams. Meatballs will almost look glazed with moisture. Bake about 30 minutes in 350 degree oven, preferably on broiler rack (or fry in a little olive oil). Sausages 1-1/2 pounds Italian sausages Cut sausages in 2-inch pieces. Brown sausages in small amount of olive oil over medium heat. Gravy 2 six-pound cans Hunts tomato sauce (1 can in each pot) 3 tablespoons sugar (1-1/2 tablespoons per six-pound can of sauce) About 2 teaspoons Italian seasoning (1 teaspoon per six-pound can of sauce) About 1 teaspoon garlic powder (1/2 teaspoon per six-pound can of sauce) Mix gravy ingredients, using two pots as indicated. Remove sausages from pan and add to gravy¡Xdivided between pots. Drain all but about 2 tablespoons oil from pan. Add about 3 tablespoons water to pan and swish around to loosen residue/browned bits¡Xadd to gravy, divided between pots. Add meatballs to gravy, divided between pots. Simmer gravy, meatballs, and sausages for about four hours (without lid) at a slow simmer, stirring occasionally. (If starts to spatter, cover about halfway.) Enjoy!

[stanz]

I didn't watch their films all that much, but I thought Zeppo only spoke in Italian.

[CatoRenasci]

Wine is fascinating stuff, and while there's much more good wine around today than ever before, and much more good than bad in relative proportion, 30-40 years ago, a knowledgeable person could drink exceptional wines on an almost daily basis for very little money. I no longer find this to be true. However, in those days, the number of knowledgeable people was truly very small, and the demand for the very best wines did not greatly exceed the supply. Likewise, there were some real sleeper wines (e.g. Inglenook's Charbono) that, while production was only a few hundred cases a year, so few people knew about it that it was easy to drink only the really spectacular years.

Living in the East now, it is sad to say that despite being a successful professional, I routinely drank better wine as a student in 1969 than I do today. Then, I could have a couple of bottles a week of the very top grade of California red wine, often as much as 30 years old if you knew were to find it, for not much more than $10, not much of a dent in the budget. To do that now would cost $250. I measure the decades by the increase in the minimum price of a drinkable bottle of red wine. In the '60s, BV Rutherford Cabernet Sauvignon could be had for $1.50 a bottle ('til '69 when the prices were doubled) and the Latour Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon for $3.00 a bottle, if you bought case quantities at the winery. Slightly less if the knew you and you were in the trade. People were aghast at the price when Joe Heitz priced his cab at first $5 and then $10 a bottle. By the 70s, you had to spend $5 to get something drinkable, although what $5 bought you slid down the scale over the decade. By the '80s, a decent bottle had hit $10. The '90s saw $15 as a minimum for something you'd have with a weekend meal and now, you really can't get anything you'd serve with a significant meal for less $25, perhaps even $35. Pity.

[jellybean]

Zeppo spoke perfect English. Chico always spoke with an Italian accent.

You should watch them sometime. I think you'd really enjoy their movies.

[stanz]

Oh...I was close. There was one I saw which still cracks me up. I don't remember which one it was, but all I do remember is the scene where an old man is having soup and a piece of plaster from the ceiling falls into it. At that point, he says with his Yiddish accent, "Denks fuh da krecker." We still use this expression when we eat soup or crackers around here.

[Hoverbug]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!! Sounds delicious!

Thank you! Mrs. Hb and I will give it a try soon and let you know how we made out!!

Hb

[cyborg]

I missed this thread!! LOL

[cyborg]

On the East Coast, most of the Italians were from Southern Italy: Sicily, Naples, Calabria, etc. It is interesting to note that the immigration people classified the Northern Italians differently 'racially' than the Southern Italians.

***Yes this is true. My father is from Catania. I am splitting image of my grandmother Rosa Fichera. When my mother and I visited Italy earlier this year, all the Italians I met were speaking italian to me. My mother is creole woman from West Indies and is very dark complexioned and if people were not assuming she was Ethiopian sometimes they thought she was Sicilian also. Of course, almost every Italian woman said they could tell I'm Sicilian because of my full head of black brown hair...LOL

I have family photos on my homepage in my profile too to show.

[cyborg]

My father died just when I was ready to realize how important family heritage is. I always knew about Ellis Island, how hard Italians had to work to get respect in America,etc. and best thing he ever did was completely transfer the immigrant work ethnic to my sister and I. My dad taught me to cook, but my mother paid more attention and remembers all the dishes like calamari,etc. I grew up in very ethnic home that pretty much said, American because I'm born here BUT your family, your blood your whole heritage is such and such.

I know how you feel though.

[Captainpaintball]

http://www.thebigtalker1210.com/personalities/dongiovanni.shtml

Good show, nice guy. It's an hour of fun from 6-7. After that is the LEGENDARY Sid Mark's syndicated Sounds of Sinatra from 7-9, then his Best of Bennett from 9-10.

[CatoRenasci]

Ah, we are all becoming what my mother used to describe as Heinz 57 varieties. Race and ethnicity are happily becoming somewhat meaningless concepts in many of our actual lives. We are more defined by our values and education, our aspirations and view, than where we came from. Oh, having traditions from one background or another is lovely, but more and more, real people on the ground, as opposed to politicians and pontificators, working and playing together, creating a new melting pot that's working rather like the old. At least that's my optimistic view on a good day.

It hasn't been so many years since a friend of Milanese and Piedmontese origin was 86'd from a Neopolitan restaurant in New York because (based on his name being very obviously Milanese aristocracy), the waiter said as he threw down the bill, the man was a tedesco [German], which is a favorite Southern Italian insult for a Northerner.