Posted on 12/29/2003 7:23:57 AM PST by sinkspur
Being an American trapped in a Canadian's body means always having to say, "You're stupid."
When my hometown of Toronto awakened to the news that Saddam Hussein was in custody, we reflexively switched on CNN in my house. Why? Because Fox News still isn't available up here (although, in the spirit of "multiculturalism," Al-Jazeera's broadcast application proceeds apace).
At our only other option, the state-owned Canadian Broadcasting Corp., commentators repeatedly hoped Saddam Hussein would receive "a fair trial" through "an international tribunal" that "reflected Canadian values" – presumably the same "Canadian values" former Prime Minister Jean Chrétien invoked when refusing to send our troops (such as they are) to Iraq in the first place.
Such smug, pseudo-sophisticated "insights" would be only slightly less offensive if they weren't being paid for by my tax dollars.
I once was one of those smug sneerers at our southern neighbor, the product of a typical Canadian upbringing: my memorizing Trudeaupian doctrine about our superior "cultural mosaic" and the Yanks' inferior "melting pot."
The U.S. Bicentennial made a particularly indelible impression. I was 12 in 1976, the perfect age to be scandalized for life by red, white and blue toilet seats.
And like all Torontonians, I have my share of Stupid American Tourist Stories: loud, super-sized folks wearing what appear to be pajamas, asking if they can walk to Niagara Falls from here.
So, what happened?
Well, I am a recovering liberal, and Sept. 11 is my dry date.
That morning, my leftist life flashed before my eyes. I remembered to my shame all of those "Yankee, go homes" I had chanted as a Reagan-era peacenik. And rolling my eyes at the tacky teddy bear memorials at the Oklahoma City bombing and muttering, "You would think a building never had blown up before."
How sophisticated I was. And how sick.
Wherever I go, conversations like the following are commonplace:
"Bush."
"I know."
"I hate him."
"I know."
I have worn out my computer's "delete" button, weary of asking co-workers to refrain from sending me "funny" e-mails about setting George W. Bush on fire.
I have taken to wearing a Stars and Stripes scarf. When asked about it, I explain that I use it to strangle old draft dodgers.
I really want to buy a gun (somehow) just so that I can refuse to register it.
I even have developed a taste for iced tea.
No, I am not entirely friendless. I have "met" new pals online: fellow Canucks equally outraged by the World Trade Center attacks and appalled by the matter-of-fact "they asked for it" attitude that permeates elite Canadian culture.
A few thousand of us attended a pro-U.S. demonstration in April. We gathered at City Hall, where I had demonstrated against the United States on a regular basis all of those years ago.
A dozen very young counter-protesters showed up, too. Those kids chain-smoked, swaggered and even sang "Give Peace a Chance."
The deja vu was dizzying. I pitied the angry, stupid girl I used to be, and I fumed while the arrogant little brats booed a speaker at the podium whose father had died on Sept. 11.
Their hatred of Mr. Bush is palpable. I had hated Ronald Reagan just as much. Then, I had started hearing about parents in the former Soviet Union who named their children "Ronald."
I believe I am on the right side of history now. Just on the wrong side of the border.
Toronto writer Kathy Shaidle hosts RelapsedCatholic.com, a pioneering Web log commenting on religion, politics and popular culture.
It's funny, Brian. I don't remember being a Canadian, but my birth certificate says I once was one.
My older sisty-ugler, the commie-pinko, and my younger New-American-Citizen sister are visiting here mid-Jan, so I guess I'll start saying 'Eh' again, and listen to all the wonderful Canadian bull$hit for a few days. If I could, I'd rent a WW-II howitzer, and put it on the front lawn just to piss them off.
My kid sister ain't much better. She spent 30 years living on the East Coast - Connecticut, NY, etc., and her nose is thumbtacked to her forehead. She only became a citizen to collect Social Security. She moved to Cincinatti, and now she has to deal with the 'common folks' in flyover country.
Should be a fun visit. They're gonna love my posters of Bush, Reagan, and John Wayne..............FRegards
One of my MOST "Revered" "Mentors" is a Gentleman Named "Don Gillies."
Don has been the "Pastor of Pastor's" of the "United Church of Canada."
We have known "Father Don" for 40+ years.
There is NO MORE MORAL "Focus" of ANY Concept of the Basic "Precepts Of" "Right & Wrong" than the "Natural Values" "Lived By" "Don & MIMI Gillies!"
I'm SURE that I am "Utterly Ignorant of" the "Proper Way to" express my "Belief!"
LET ME SAY--BEYOND ANY "Socio-Political Beliefs!"--that "Don & MIMI Gillies" are a "Culture" unto THEMSELVES.
While MOST of us have Explored our Various Options, Those of us who have Come to Love & Admire Don & Mimi, have Decided that "Don & MImi" Represent the BEST our "Culture" has Produced.
IN SUM, "Don & MIMI Gillies" represent the VERY BEST our "Western, English, 'Judeo-Christian" Culture has Produced.
&, FRANKLY, I Believe that "Don & Mim" are the "Equal of,--& Superior to" ANY "Representatives of ANY OTHER "Culture!!"
Sorry Guys; I THINK we are in a Cultural "War to the Finish!!"
"Islam" will NOT "Capitulate" when It is Repudiated.
I FEAR that we are in another "Crusade!"
MOST of us DO NOT WISH to engage in another "Religious War," but, unless "Cooler Heads Prevail" in "Islam," we are DOOMED to DESTROY the Militant, Psychopathic, "Quasi-Religion" of "Islam!!"
How Sad!!"
NO "Legitimate Religion" in Human History has EVER "Condoned" a "Martyrdom" which has MURDERED "Innocents!!"
"Martyrdom" is a LONG-Respected extreme Statement by Those Who Wish to make a "Point" about Their Beliefs.
But the attendant Murder of Innocents during an "Act of Martyrdom" IS NOT a Valid "Validation" of the "Martyrdom Statement!!"
f I Wish to "Commit Suicide in a 'Public Manner,'--to Reinforce a Point I Believe in--", THAT is my RIGHT!!
I do NOT have a "Right" to Murder Others while I "Make My Point!!"
SO IT IS!!--In This Nation, NO ONE can Murder ANYONE to "Prove a Point!!"
So if some "Jerkweed" elects to "Blow Up the Statue of Liberty" to "Make a Point," there is NO "Legal Basis" for That Act!!
Besides, the "American People" are REALLY INTOLERANT of ANY "Anti-American" acts at this Time.
You're "Best Bet" is to avoid ANY acts which Americans might construe as "Hostile!!"
Doc
One of my MOST "Revered" "Mentors" is a Gentleman Named "Don Gillies."
Don has been the "Pastor of Pastor's" of the "United Church of Canada."
We have known "Father Don" for 40+ years.
There is NO MORE MORAL "Focus" of ANY Concept of the Basic "Precepts Of" "Right & Wrong" than the "Natural Values" "Lived By" "Don & MIMI Gillies!"
I'm SURE that I am "Utterly Ignorant of" the "Proper Way to" express my "Belief!"
LET ME SAY--BEYOND ANY "Socio-Political Beliefs!"--that "Don & MIMI Gillies" are a "Culture" unto THEMSELVES.
While MOST of us have Explored our Various Options, Those of us who have Come to Love & Admire Don & Mimi, have Decided that "Don & MImi" Represent the BEST our "Culture" has Produced.
IN SUM, "Don & MIMI Gillies" represent the VERY BEST our "Western, English, 'Judeo-Christian" Culture has Produced.
&, FRANKLY, I Believe that "Don & Mim" are the "Equal of,--& Superior to" ANY "Representatives of ANY OTHER "Culture!!"
Sorry Guys; I THINK we are in a Cultural "War to the Finish!!"
"Islam" will NOT "Capitulate" when It is Repudiated.
I FEAR that we are in another "Crusade!"
MOST of us DO NOT WISH to engage in another "Religious War," but, unless "Cooler Heads Prevail" in "Islam," we are DOOMED to DESTROY the Militant, Psychopathic, "Quasi-Religion" of "Islam!!"
How Sad!!"
NO "Legitimate Religion" in Human History has EVER "Condoned" a "Martyrdom" which has MURDERED "Innocents!!"
"Martyrdom" is a LONG-Respected extreme Statement by Those Who Wish to make a "Point" about Their Beliefs.
But the attendant Murder of Innocents during an "Act of Martyrdom" IS NOT a Valid "Validation" of the "Martyrdom Statement!!"
f I Wish to "Commit Suicide in a 'Public Manner,'--to Reinforce a Point I Believe in--", THAT is my RIGHT!!
I do NOT have a "Right" to Murder Others while I "Make My Point!!"
SO IT IS!!--In This Nation, NO ONE can Murder ANYONE to "Prove a Point!!"
So if some "Jerkweed" elects to "Blow Up the Statue of Liberty" to "Make a Point," there is NO "Legal Basis" for That Act!!
Besides, the "American People" are REALLY INTOLERANT of ANY "Anti-American" acts at this Time.
You're "Best Bet" is to avoid ANY acts which Americans might construe as "Hostile!!"
Doc
LOL! I love that line!
Now if we could just get some Americans to come to the same realization.
Should be a 12 Step program for us.
My thanks to Free Republic for being my primary source of ideas, inspiration and facts.
I really want to buy a gun (somehow) just so that I can refuse to register it.
That is strange. So do I. lol
BTW Sink, I was almost expecting to see Judge Roy Moore somehow connected with this story. Shocking to get to that last paragraph without actually seeing it ;-)
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