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20k dead in Iran- one was my childhood friend
self

Posted on 12/26/2003 9:15:09 PM PST by fourdeuce82d

Edited on 12/26/2003 9:58:21 PM PST by Admin Moderator. [history]

Just found out a friend of mine I've known for thirty years, and was the closest thing to a brother I'll ever have, was one of the 20k people killed in the recent earthquake.

He and I grew up in Saudi as oil brats- he was a wonderful, wonderful guy. He and his girlfriend were in Iran on a tourism junket. he always had to go and live on the local economy- i.e. he didn't want to stay at the hilton, he wanted to stay at the sort of places a local truck driver might stay at. That was where he was when the quake hit, and he was buried in the rubble. He and his girlfriend were extricated, but from what I gather he died in the car on the way to a hospital. She's hurt, but will survive.

He was a good man, a good friend, and a good person. I personally am (expletive deleted by moderator) wrecked. I wish it could have been me cause he sure had his (expletive deleted by moderator) together a lot more than I ever did or ever will. His family is in worse shape. This is going to crush his parents. They are going to need all the support they can get.

prayers, thoughts, well wishes appreciated. He was 41 years old.

I just wish I could put a bullet in my head and bring him back in some sort of trade- I'd do it. but I know I can't, so don't worry.

I'm just really, really beat down right now, and I'm dreading the coming days and weeks. I dunno...is God trying to make me feel bad for being a schmuck? Is he saying "I could have taken some of the flostam and jetsam that nobody would really miss, but haha, joke's on you, I'm going to take the guy that's really, really special. You, on the other hand, I'll leave behind to take up space and waste air."

That's some pretty sick humor if you ask me. There is no damn exsuse fror traking him none none. IT is not even remotely fair or just or reasonable and I 'm godamm piswsed off.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: earthquake; iran; iranquake; prayerrequest
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To: fourdeuce82d
just really wrecked. I realize I'm going to have to suck it up and help his family, and wallowing in my own grief won't help.

You are a good and loyal friend. Your friend is looking down on you and smiling at his brother -- you.

Plenty of time for grief later. Right now, give.

61 posted on 12/27/2003 4:43:54 PM PST by Lazamataz (I slam, you slam, we all slam, for Islam!)
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To: fourdeuce82d
prayer bump
62 posted on 12/27/2003 5:10:17 PM PST by Constantine XIII
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To: fourdeuce82d
Hey bro,

At times like these some reach for their New Testament. I reach instead for a dog-eared poetry book, and for each requiem I find these lines from Laurence Binyon some comfort.

He shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary him, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember him.
The New Testament is still there for you, it's not going anywhere soon. I won't presume to suggest that this online community is any substitute for a lost friend, but we feel a little bit of what you feel.

As for those who thought this was a good opportunity to air their grievances with the unpopular ayatollahs of the Islamic Republic of Iran: wrong.

Rest in Peace.

d.o.l.

Criminal Number 18F

63 posted on 12/27/2003 5:27:38 PM PST by Criminal Number 18F
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To: Hodar
For what it's worth, the images I remember of the Iranians on September 11 were of the candlelight vigils expressing sympathy for our loss.

I believe you're thinking of the Palestinians, a people who have never lost an opportunity to do the wrong thing, make the wrong choice, or piss off the wrong people at the wrong time. They were the street dancers and their time is coming. There are some things we will never forget nor forgive.

64 posted on 12/27/2003 5:36:35 PM PST by katana
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To: fourdeuce82d
Sorry to hear this. Damn...
65 posted on 12/27/2003 5:41:25 PM PST by Prodigal Son
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To: fourdeuce82d
Please accept my sympathy. It's got to be a tough thing to go through.

Carry on life the way you feel he would have or the way he would have wanted you to. He will never truly die but will always remain in your heart. Cherish the memories.

When I first heard about an American being killed, I thought it might be a friend of mine that I used to work with. He has since retired and spends part of every year in his native Iran. He always disconnects his phone when he goes there. I tried to call him and it was indeed temporarily disconnected, so I know he is in Iran somewhere. I know it's a big country, but you can't help the first thoughts that pop into your mind.
66 posted on 12/27/2003 6:36:51 PM PST by gooleyman
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To: fourdeuce82d
Peace be upon him.
67 posted on 12/28/2003 12:14:36 PM PST by F14 Pilot
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To: cibco
You are really true.
68 posted on 12/28/2003 12:16:39 PM PST by F14 Pilot
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To: fourdeuce82d
is God trying to make me feel bad

No, God isn't trying to make you feel bad...He doesn't work that way. The other guy does though, so don't listen to his suggestions.

I had a tragedy in my life several years ago which caused me to question the existence of God. I ended up for a time as a staunch atheist, but God never gave up on me and sent a patient and loving FReeper to give witness to His love and provisions for us. I can now see that the questions and anger I had were all inspired by a very opportunistic Satan...and found fertile ground in my grief.

You will see your friend again. He is not lost, just somewhere else for a while. Your mission now is to live as he would want you to live, and perhaps provide the love and comfort to his family that he can no longer provide. Your care and devotion to his family and yours can be a testament to the bond you and your friend share...even though you are separated for the moment.

I will pray for your strength. Lean on the Lord.

69 posted on 12/28/2003 12:32:35 PM PST by Aracelis
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To: fourdeuce82d
Sorry to hear of your friends death.

You, on the other hand, I'll leave behind to take up space and waste air."

No, you on the other hand are left behind to try and live up to the example set by your friend, this you can do, and
by doing so set a higher example for all.

You can do this.

tet68
70 posted on 12/28/2003 12:37:01 PM PST by tet68
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To: cherry
God's ways aren't all to be known. But, they are just.
71 posted on 12/28/2003 12:40:03 PM PST by rwfromkansas ("Men stumble over the truth, but most pick themselves up as if nothing had happened." Churchill)
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To: fourdeuce82d
I'm sorry you have lost such a close friend, a near brother, as you wrote. As sharp as your pain, know that God's comfort is yours if you will let Him embrace you. Your friend is in a better place, waiting to see you again.
Prayers to you and your friend's girlfriend and family.
72 posted on 12/28/2003 4:33:21 PM PST by cgk (Kraut, 1989: We must brace ourselves for disquisitions on peer pressure, adolescent anomie & rage.)
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To: fourdeuce82d
It's okay to be mad at God. He truly understands your pain. He, Himself, suffered enormous pain when His Son was tortured and murdered. He couldn't bear to watch. That's why Jesus cried out on the cross, "My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

They say that time heals all wounds. Don't count on it. The pain I feel after the loss of my own loved ones is still here. My best help is knowing that one of these days we will all be together again in Heaven. My favorite little poem illustrating that fact is:

DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE & CRY
I AM NOT THERE
I DID NOT DIE

In a few days and as often as you feel despondent, read this thread over and again. You have been given great words of comfort from your fellow FReepers to help you through your grief.

You can also trust in the love of Jesus for you and the hundreds of prayers that have gone up in not only your behalf, but also your friend's family. Amen.

73 posted on 12/28/2003 7:36:15 PM PST by JudyB1938 (God has such a sense of humor. He moved me to Clinton, Arkansas.)
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To: freedom44
I never understand why we tend to think of the entire middle east as one country with one voice.

The benefit of a public school education?

74 posted on 12/28/2003 9:48:58 PM PST by Doctor Stochastic (Vegetabilisch = chaotisch is der Charakter der Modernen. - Friedrich Schlegel)
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To: fourdeuce82d; All
Thank you all for your support and understanding. It has been a very real and powerful comfort. Here is an article about my friend, Tobb.

A Fordham University Law School graduate was miraculously pulled alive from rubble in the devastating earthquake in Iran that killed her boyfriend. Adele Freedman was in severe condition last night in a Tehran hospital after her tour guide summoned a rescue party to dig her and her boyfriend, Tobb Dell'Oro, out of a collapsed hotel where they were staying.

"That woman [the tour guide] is a hero. I don't know how we could ever thank her," Dell'Oro's sister Tam Dell'Oro told the Daily News last night.

Freedman's story of survival came on a day when rescuers had all but given up hope of finding any more survivors from Friday's predawn monster quake that killed at least 22,000 people and left 100,000 homeless.

Tam Dell'Oro of northern California said her brother and Freedman were vacationing when thequake hit. They had gone to the Iranian city of Bam to visit a 2,000-year-old citadel.

"They phoned us before the earthquake. They told us that they were so happy. That they were having such a wonderful time," said Dell'Oro.

The couple, who both graduated from Cornell University in upstate Ithaca, had traveled the world together, from the South Pole to Cambodia, Thailand and Burma.

After graduating from Fordham, Freedman worked as an associate at the White & Case law firm in Manhattan. She is now a partner in a northern California law firm.

"They loved going and exploring all the reaches of the world. They were a very loving and devoted couple," Dell'Oro said.

She said her family was touched that the couple's tour guide, Farzaneh Khademi, would set aside everything to search for her brother and Freedman.

"As soon as the earthquake happened she gathered up other people and went over to where Tobb and Adele were staying, and they dug them out," she said. "She put Tobb and Adele in her car and she drove through the pandemonium to the closest hospital."

The State Department said last night that Tobb Dell'Oro, 41, is believed to be the only American killed. Tam said her brother, who ran a market research firm in California, and Freedman were "treated like royalty" before and after the quake.

"We are absolutely amazed at how the Persians [Iranians] have opened their arms," Dell'Oro said. "They were not put at the back of the line at the hospital. They were welcomed by the Persians."

Officials fear the final death toll in Bam will top 30,000. Only one man was pulled alive from the rubble yesterday. END According to what we are hearing, Tobb had proposed to Adele that evening, and she had accepted.

Tobb was a wonderful man. I suspect he's a little irritated at me right now for wallowing in my own grief when there are living people who need help. with that in mind, please check out the address below- it's for the national Iranian American council- they are taking donations for the relief effort.

http://www.niacouncil.org/iranquake.asp

I have checked out this group with some folks in the know, and they say it is a reputable organization.

thank all of you so much for your support and compassion.

4.2"

75 posted on 12/29/2003 1:50:40 PM PST by fourdeuce82d
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To: fourdeuce82d
Iran Earthquake Survivor Out of Hospital
76 posted on 01/09/2004 3:14:51 PM PST by Shermy
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