McMahon ready to lead WWE invasion of Iraq (Pics)

The WWE will celebrate Christmas this year by giving a little back to the troops in Iraq. Next week's edition of ''SmackDown'' will be shown from the battlefields of the Middle East as Vince McMahon and the company try to bring some of the U.S. over to the men and women of the military.

In addition to performing two shows, the WWE will be touring the entire region to greet the forces as well as give them care packages as part of ''Operation USO Care Package.''

''The participation of a great organization like the WWE is essential to the success of a program like 'Operation USO Care Package,''' said Brigadier General Michael Teilmann, executive director of the USO. ''Having the WWE superstars not only promote this program, but then deliver the packages, provides an added dimension and brings that extra bit of home to our troops. I think it's tremendous.''

Most of the ''SmackDown'' stars will be on the tour. ''We are looking forward to visiting the troops and providing them with the most unusual, entertaining live event ever produced for the holidays,'' McMahon said. ''We plan on carrying as many care packages as we can to deliver to the troops, along with greetings from the American public.''

My two pals and I had the pleasure of bellying up to the bar for over an hour (if you can do that at a Edina TGI Friday's) with Verne Gagne two years ago.

He told the story of Mad Dog Vachon, who was constantly tormenting the Baron. Hiding his stuff. Giving his shoes and tights and eyeglasses to fans as keepsakes when Von Raschke was in the shower.

One night on a turboprop charter from Mpls to Minot or some godforsaken gig, the Baron fell asleep and Mad Dog OPENED THE EXIT DOOR at 9000 feet, relieved his bladder, and threw Baron's bag of gear out the door and over some soybean field in Western Minnesota.

Baron never woke up. He was told that he left his bag in the St. Cloud locker room. But, Mad Dog made up for his mischeif by getting the Baron ongoing paydays in Indy shows to support his family way after his time was done.

Gagne told nonstop Vachon stories. Mad Dog Vachon is the craziest MOFO of all time. He beat a guy over the head in Laval with his prosthetic leg (urban legend?). Everybody feared him physically, and were perpetually annoyed and fed up with him. But loved him too!

"Iraq's new leader...the Iron Sheik."

Meanwhile old fearless leader gets some visitors:

(FBI Offices…Exact Location Confidential)

Agent Thompson: This is stupid.

Agent Davis: I know, I know. What can I tell you? I tried to tell them that we have the capabilities to adequately interrogate Saddam Hussein, but the boss is a big wrestling fan. This is out of my hands. We might as well try it and see if it works. (pressing intercom button) Betty, send in the Rock please.

(The Rock enters the Interrogation Room. He steps on the table in front of Saddam Hussein and looks towards the ceiling)

Rock: Finally….the Rock has come back to the Inter-rogation Room!

Agent Davis: Right. OK, here's what we need. We need to find out where he hid the weapons of mass destruction and what information he has about other terrorist conspirators.

Rock: You don't need to tell the Rock. The Rock knows. You just put your monkey ass in the corner and let the Rock show you how it's done. (Turning to Saddam) So, you're Saddam Hussein, the dictator from foreign lands. Well let the Rock ask you one question, Saddam. Where'd you hide weapons of mass destruction?

Saddam: Fine. They're hidden in the…

Rock: It doesn't matter where they're hidden!

Agent Thompson: Uh…actually, Rock, it does matter. We kind of needed to know that.

Rock: Hey, Agent Hermaphrodite, didn't the Rock tell you to keep your monkey ass in the corner? The Rock has it under control. Saddam, you still following the Rock? You listening? How's your lips? Here's another question for you. What can you tell the Great One about the other terrorists that you work with?

Saddam: Fine. The other terrorists have planned…

Rock: Waaa….waaa….waaa….the Rock wipes a camel's anus with the other terrorists!

Agent Thompson: Rock, we sort of needed to know that too.

Rock: OK, Jabronie. Since you're so intent…so intent, on interrupting the People' Champ, you should at least have the decency to introduce yourself. What is your name?

Agent Thompson: It doesn't matter what my name is.

Rock: It doesn't matter what your name…oh, that's cute, Jabronie. That's real cute. How'd ya like the Rock to take his special FBI pass, shine it up real nice, and stick it straight up your candy ass?!

Agent Thompson: Hmmm, I wouldn't like that very much. OK, I guess we're done here, Rock. Thank you so much for your time. You're free to go.

The Rock leaves the room and steps into the hallway

Rock: (From the Hallway) Finally….the Rock has come back to the hallway!

Agent Thompson: Damn, at least that's all over.

Agent Davis: Not quite. There's still one more guy to interrogate him. (pressing intercom button) Betty, send in Steve Austin please.

Steve Austin runs in and gets right into Saddam's face

Steve Austin: Saddam Hussein! Look at ya! With your stupid little beard. Your silly little lice. You better tell me right now where you hid those weapons of mass destruction, son.

Saddam: Fine. They're hidden…

Austin: What? What? What? What?

Agent Thompson: We better order some food. This is going to be a long night.

Rock: (voice coming from and open window) Finally….the Rock has come back to the parking lot!

(by James Guttman at pwtorch.com)

I just read this posts (catching up). I saw WWE's Saturday night show and saw the video clip of the trip to Iraq.

There is a classic pic of a soldier holding a sign that says "Bush 3:16".

I think that should be a battlecry for the upcoming election season. The Austin 3:16 came about when he replied to Jake "The Snake" Roberts (who was doing some preaching angle at the time) preaching, "Well, Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your a$$!"

Well, Bush 3:16 will say the same thing on November 10, 2004. We need to put together a graphic. Black background, white letters, "Bush 3:16".

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