Posted on 12/19/2003 11:32:28 PM PST by GluteusMax
As her eyelids fluttered open, she saw Janet standing beside her bed gazing intently at her heaving chest. “Janet, what are you doing here?”
“Oh, um, I was just passing by your room and I noticed you were having a nightmare. Wanna talk about it?” Janet asked as she stroked Hillary’s cheek.
“Oh Janet, it was horrible, I used a HANDGUN to deal with an uppity Negro in my dream. There must be some way to come up with safer guns and safer bullets!”
“Quit Joshin’ your Elders, Hillary. Guns belong in OUR hands. Someday OUR people will control the planes, the bombs and the TANKS!” she thundered, clenched fists raised.
Hillary noticed the fire in Janet’s eyes and understood that Janet loved power as much as she did. That common hunger made Hillary feel much closer to Janet. The memory of her earlier dream made her blurt out “How do you feel about Che Guevara Janet?”
“He’s one of my heroes, of course” Janet whispered huskily “Why do you ask?”
“I was just wondering if you’d like a T-shirt with his likeness on it. It might be nice to wear when you’re all wet and getting out of the shower.”
“The shower? That reminds me, I need to go take a shower, let me know if anything happens.” With that, Janet bolted from the room.
Hillary threw back the sheets and put her favorite pantsuit back on. It wasn’t too crusty yet, so she could probably wear it a few more times before having to wash it. She found the Wellesley gardener outside chatting with that hayseed from Arkansas. “Bill, what are you doing back here?” Hillary asked “Gertrude told me you were wandering the banks of the Danube.”
“Oh, hi Hillary, had a little trouble at Oxford so I came back to the states. I thought I’d come see Gertrude. Oh, and you of course. When I pulled onto the Wellesley campus, I saw Gennifer here lookin’ like she could use a little help with her Flowers. I was just telling her how smart you are with Roses, what with tending the roses over at that law firm you interned at last summer.”
Hillary knew Bill wasn’t telling her the whole truth. She was about to cuss the oaf out for his impudence, when without warning everything went black again for Hillary. This time, she didn’t pass out, she went into a trance-like mode. In her mind’s eye she could see the orangey bright light again. As her eyes adjusted to the bright orange flames, she could more clearly make out the figure near the source of the light. He spoke distinctly this time.
“HILLARY.”
“What in Hell do you want?” demanded an angry Hillary.
“YOU of course, but that will come in due time.”
“Can’t you see I’m busy trying to work my way into the seat of absolute power?! Quit interrupting my life!” Hillary shrieked.
The creature looked perplexed. “Don’t you know who I am?” intoned the Prince of Darkness.
“I don’t give a !*&^%$ who you are. I don’t think you know who I am! I am Hillary Rodham. Now stop doing this vision thing or I’ll really make your life Hell!!”
The beast threw back its head and cackled. “My life already IS Hell!”
“What exactly do you mean by ‘is’ anyway, mister?” Hillary inquired.
“Remember that line my child, you can use it later through your Arkansas sock-puppet. You really are a chip off the old block my child.”
Hillary crossed her arms and scowled “Your child? Please, don’t flatter yourself!”
“ENOUGH!” Satan thundered “The time has come to reveal your true purpose on earth.”
Private Cheung looked incredulously at the scientist. “You clazy Comlade Ree!” Private Cheung said. Dr. Lee had just confided in the young private his scheme to take over America for the PLA and the motherland.
“Private Cheung report!” Lieutenant Quang Ling Ho barked.
“Dr. Ree say he see a time in future when China make every-ting for stupid, razy Americans. He say he tah-king to man in smaw south state who wirr have monoporey foh every-ting Americans buy. These estabrishments of War-Malt wirr make cash frow to The Pawty foh wohld Domination.”
Lieutenant Ho shook her head. Dr. Lee was truly insane. “Move out Ladies! Our mission is over!” Ho commanded. The bevy of Battling Beauties from Beijing double-timed it back to the dinghy and paddled off into the partially moonlit night.
Boris and Vladimir were pleased with the developments in the Rodham/Rhubarb Project. Vladimir had succeeded in convincing his superiors to merge the long-running Rodham work with the promising rube from, ironically, Hope. The beauty of the project was that both subjects were so completely devoid of morals, patriotism and common sense that it made the task of turning them extremely easy.
Vladimir’s main concern was that the college drop-out from the backwoods was so uncontrollable in his pursuit of gratification, that he may become unstable. It had already gotten him ejected from Oxford. The agent also worried that his Chinese counterpart might recruit him away from Mother Russia. She was better “equipped” to deal with Bill’s idiosyncrasies. Vlad knew he had to get Bill involved in anti-war protests back in the USSR to better control him. Boris approved. He said “Vladimir, you don’t know how lucky you are, you got him back in the U.S.S.R.”
If so then it should begin
It was a stark and dormy night.
Ya, he thought,she would work out fine, just like Lenin intended.
on tape, online or paperback.
Boris settled back in the rich Corinthian leather and smiled. “Do you remember the briefing about the CIA’s crude attempts at mind control, comrade? They called it ‘MK ULTRA’ in their files. Let me assure you Vladimir, we are more capable than they at this game. Ms. Rodham will do as she is told by our operatives. In fact, a father has already been chosen to impregnate her. But this will come later. First we must get the Rhubarb into politics. “Hubba, hubba” could you hand me the Webster’s dictionary? I must learn more Americanski slang like Hubba from Webster’s.
Hillary opened her eyes. Gennifer and Bill were gazing at her with puzzled looks on their faces.
“Golleee Hillary, you looked like my brother Roger for a minute there. Your eyes had that faraway look and you was grinnin’ like an idiot.”
“Oh Bill, I just feel like I finally know why I’ve been put on this earth!” Hillary gushed.
Bill slightly recoiled and said “Ewww, are you one of those Christians?”
“Oh, no Bill, but you might say I just had a religious experience. I see visions and a powerful being tells me what to do next. He just revealed to me that you and I are both going to be president! At the same time, isn’t that weird?”
“Uh, yeah. Well I gotta go now Hill. Gennifer wants me to tend to her Flower patch. I’ll see ya around.” And with that Bill and Gennifer quietly backed away.
He remembered running from the out of the circus tent when the bearded lady came in.
Not from fear but from the embarrassment of being aroused when he saw her.
He knew he would someday find the girl of his dreams, and she would disgust him into arousal like none ever had.
“I’ve found something over here under this loose floorboard Hillary. It appears to be a journal from a former resident of this dorm room. You know, the one that supposedly haunts the dorm.”
“You don’t mean Elly Rosefeldt?”
“The same. These are her innermost thoughts Hillary! We could know what a Wellesley legend’s day-to-day life was like.” Monishka/Gertrude exclaimed.
“I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you this Gertrude. I have been having late night discussions with Elly Rosefeldt from the day I arrived.“ Gertrude looked at Hillary trying to decide how to respond. “ Would this be the nights you have fish before bed? I know you are always say the weirdest things in your sleep, and I distinctly smell the odor of fish on your breath when you talk in your sleep. By the way, who is ‘Beelzebub’ anyway?”
”What? I don’t eat fish Monishka, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You know I’m a meat and potatoes kinda gal. Hey, you sound like you don’t believe that I talk to Elly or something. She IS real Gertrude. She tells me things. Secret things. She knows everything that happens on this campus.”
The egg roll-shaped device was his working prototype for a much larger device he hoped to build for the motherland upon his triumphant return to Beijing. Dr. Lee crouched behind a mound of dirt outside the lab at Los Alamos and pressed the large red button to detonate the device.
Nothing happened.
Dr. Lee let loose a stream of colorful expressions. After a few moments, he buried his face in his hands and sobbed “Why? Now my shame will not be erased. I have dishonored my ancestors.”
Just then he heard a familiar voice. It was Ho! What was she doing here?
“Don’t worry Dr. Lee. I have a plan to acquire all the secrets we need to make our weapons effective.” As she spun on a spiked boot heel to leave she looked back over her shoulder and said, “You might want to grab a fire extinguisher Lee. It looks as if Ho Lee’s Smoke has started a little fire.”
“Sho no we goin tah Mena taget dedrugs”
“Oh yeah, Mamas medicine run! We best hurry Jim Jim! Good thang we got a faster ride this time.”
Jim Jim hopped into the back, freshly upholstered with new AstroTurf®, as young master William mashed the gas pedal to the floor.
“Whoo-eee dat dun go real fast!”
“That’s right, Jim Jim. My Rooskie friends says there’s plenty more where that came from if I just help them out a little when they need it. Women too. Is this a great country or what? It’s like, ‘Money fer nothing. Chicks fer free.’ I can’t wait to see what Ho’s got to counter-offer to work for our Chinese friends.”
Bill smiled wide as he thought of another ‘negotiating’ session with Lieutenant Quang Ling Ho of the People’s Liberation Army.
“Da plane boss.” Jim Jim grunted from the bed of the El Camino.
“Ah yes, what a country indeed.” Bill thought as he watched the package land on the ground by the railroad tracks. Bill sent Jim Jim over to retrieve it when he noticed two teenage boys watching the ‘medicine’ pick up. He made a mental note to himself that he’d better talk to his state trooper friends about keeping everyone away from his Mena medicine delivery area. They might want to take his precious medicine. It was The Precious, and it was HIS!
As she walked back to her room from the administration wing, she couldn’t help but think of that Rube from Arkansas. Although she wasn’t attracted to him, of course, she knew that her ‘Unholy Father,’ as he called himself, had decreed that they form a partnership. Her Familiar friend Elly Rosefeldt had also been insisting that she enter into a union with Bill. When she dreamed lately, her thoughts always turned to Bill standing over her in a hospital room speaking Russian. It was all so strange. On top of that, she always had a headache, even when she slipped the aluminum foil beanie on under her hat.
She let her favorite sexy pantsuit drop to the floor, pulled on her nightdress, and crawled into bed. As she drifted into a state of semi-consciousness, the voices returned stronger than they’d ever been. ”You must go to Little Rock next week Hillary. You need to go, Da, er, yes you want to go…”
Hillary sat up in bed wearily and slurred “Okay already! You sonsabeee….”and fell back into her pillow asleep. The next morning, for some inexplicable reason, Hillary started making plans to travel to Arkansas. This surprised her because she hated everyone in fly-over country. But the need was so compelling she couldn’t resist.
Now he’d hit pay dirt! The National Organization of Women was having its first rally in downtown Little Rock and the protesters had burned their bras earlier in the day. He was in heaven. None of these hotties shaved their legs or armpits or wore any oppressive make-up at all. The gorgeous straight, limp greasy hair was everywhere. And oh, the cankles!
He knew that his destiny was here. He could feel it.
She saw a pregnant woman across the street shaking her head at the N.O.W. gang and something snapped within her.
Running up to this mocker, she screamed into her face “What’s your problem, Breeder? You don’t like the idea that womyn can be beautiful and free from men?” To which the lady calmly replied “Get out of my face you stupid Yankee carpet-bagging bitch, before I teach you some manners.”
Realizing she was physically no match for the healthy Southron lady, Hillary retreated hissing “I’ll be back here soon to rule you rednecks, mark my words!”
Webb watched this charged exchange with an even higher state of arousal. Here in this sea of delightful gems he had seen the crown jewel, the very queen of the harpies herself. He knew he had to have her. He must have her. He vowed that day she would bear his child if it was the last thing he ever did.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.