Ordering a Pizza from Big Brother

E-Mail | 12/9/03 | Unknown

[ILBBACH]

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn"

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."

[beezdotcom]

This really isn't funny...painful truths seldom are.

[quietolong]

Not funny and getting closer to the truth every day
That 666 is right on the mark!

One thing is wrong! When this becomes true useing cash will be Illegal.

[VRWCmember]

This really isn't funny...painful truths seldom are.

It's also not "News", but then lots of "chatty" stuff gets posted here in News these days.

[ILBBACH]

Well, I wasn't able to consult the posting police before hand, so I just tried to post it in General Interest/Humor.

It's not like I put it in Breaking News...jeez!

[the invisib1e hand]

what i wanna know is, how did you get a copy of this conversation? from my ip address?

[VRWCmember]

I know it can be very confusing trying to post things in the correct forum; I had some trouble with that myself. The key is to get into the correct forum before you hit the Post Article button, because the article will be posted to whatever forum you are in at the time. It's ok, the mods will probably move it over to chat after a while.

[ILBBACH]

I thought General Interest was chat!? I'm so confused!

[Prof Engineer]

ping

[Protagoras]

"I do not believe that the kind of society I describe in 1984 necessarily WILL arrive, but I believe...that something resembling it COULD arrive. I believe also that totalitarian ideas have taken root in the minds of intellectuals everywhere." - George Orwell

[PetroniDE]

Pizza Hut = Cardboard with tomato sauce.

Next time, call for REAL pizza.

[VRWCmember]

General Interest is Chat, but when you are in the News/Activism forum, if you post it goes to News. It seems there may be a topic within the News forum that looks like General Interest, but that apparently does not post to the "General Interest" (chat) forum. It can be somewhat confusing.

[Roughneck]

This reminds me of a movie I once saw (though I hate to admit I watched it)

Anyone seen "Demolition Man" with Sylvester Stallon? The same sort of society is played out pretty well in it...it really cracked me up. But yeah, it's coming allright.

[Doctor Stochastic]

Note that 1984 was published in 1948.

[Young Werther]

The Howard Dean Amerika!

[Protagoras]

Note that 1984 was published in 1948.

I'm not sure why that matters except a s a feather in the author's cap. Pretty good prediction I would say.

[Protagoras]

The Howard Dean Amerika!

It seems pretty bipartisan to me.

[Question_Assumptions]

I know a guy who once got fed up waiting in a very long Pizza Hut line so he used the public telephone near the end of the line to call in a take-out order to Dominoes for delivery to that Pizza Hut. He said that Dominoes delivered in about 10 minutes. :-)

[ILBBACH]

I think Demolition Man is one of the best liberal-bashing movies Hollywood has put out (if not the only one)!

"Anything that is bad for you is illegal, hence, salt is illegal." - While they're enjoying a fine dinner at Taco Bell!

[ILBBACH]

I get it now. So how much is my fine, officer? ;-)