Estranged lesbians battle for custody of twins - courts decide if egg donor has parental rights

SFgate.com ^ | 12/05/03 | Stacy Finz

[Libloather]

In the meantime, K.M. hopes for the best but is prepared for the worst.

Abortion? Too late for that...

[clee1]

This is just the tip of the gay-marriage iceberg. These kinds of cases will become nauseatingly regular, IMO.

[alloysteel]

Can't we all just get along?

Of course, NOBODY saw this one coming. Essentially, we have children who find the most important people in their lives, scrapping like two strange cats over turf that few outsiders would understand. It is not clear that the participants understand the issues, or have even defined them. What attracted these two people to each other in the first place, and could they get it back? Even if they cannot, civility should not be that hard to adopt as a means of dialogue.

Unstable children grow up to be unstable adults. Break the cycle. Provide the children with stability, even if it is unattainable in your own existence.

[Libloather]

Essentially, we have children who find the most important people in their lives, scrapping like two strange cats...

The sperm donor makes three...

[Cindy]

JESUS DEFINES MARRIAGE: "And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore, they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." -from THE BIBLE: Matthew 19:4-6

International Healing Foundation

[Kozak]

Some one explain to me why the egg donor is any more the parent then the sperm donor was? Where's Daddy? What if he decides to exercise his "rights"?

[Kozak]

Whenever I hear of these women who have children without any intent to have a man in the picture I always wish for them to have a boy. Then explain to him why he has any value in life other then as a sperm donor.

[tbpiper]

Estranged lesbians....

Somehow, that phrase seems redundant.

[jocon307]

"Marin County."

Nuke Marin County!

[Vaduz]

This a result of non voters.

[yoe]

"Where's Daddy?"

Sperm banks pay for the sperm and some men donate steadily for the money...their 'progeny’ have a 50-50 chance of meeting and marrying at some point, never knowing they are related i.e., brother and sister; father-daughter; mother-daugter etc. The protection against this happening isn't there.

[TrueBeliever9]

"Myths. They are lies, carefully designed to reinforce a particular philosophy or morality within a culture. They are instruments of manipulation and control." George Grant "Grand Illusions: The Legacy of Planned Parenthood"

[Long Cut]

I find it odd that the court seems to be restricting its argu8ments to PARENTAL rights.

Do the children not have some rights as well? Perhaps, the right to have as normal and as chaos-and-drama free an upbringing as possible? In other words, one that their houseplaying egg-donor and incubation-chamber (I refuse to call either selfish idiot a "mother") went out of their way to destroy the possibility of?

These cases make me sick. The so-called "parents" bring these children into the world, and have to know, on some level, that those kids will have an absolutely messed-up, crazed life which will manifest itself in their teen years, possibly to extreme mental problems. Yet, they continue on, oblivious to all but their own wants.

[Bonneville]

" During the trial in Marin Superior Court, the birth mother testified: "I told her that I would not be willing to consider an adoption until five years after the children were born because I didn't know her well enough. The relationship was too young. I didn't want to be in a custody battle."

So, this paragon of parental virtue was Willing to use her "partner" as an egg donor and have children but didn't know the "partner" well enough for her to have a legal connection to the children? What a great environment to raise children in. Nothing like a little selfishness...children as a lifestyle accessory.

[Amelia]

During the trial in Marin Superior Court, the birth mother testified: "I told her that I would not be willing to consider an adoption until five years after the children were born because I didn't know her well enough. The relationship was too young. I didn't want to be in a custody battle."

I don't care if they are homosexual or heterosexual - if that's the way they feel, they should NOT be having children together, for the sake of the children.

[AppyPappy]

I told her that I would not be willing to consider an adoption until five years after the children were born because I didn't know her well enough. The relationship was too young

Uhhhhh........

[tom h]

"This is just the tip of the gay-marriage iceberg. These kinds of cases will become nauseatingly regular, IMO."

Right on. This was bound to happen. Wait until it happens with two gay men. They will argue over whose sperm fertilizes the donor egg looking out for the day of "divorce" and the battle over custody rights.

The outcome? A federally funded program to splice sperm together so both men can be the "father." Paid for by you and me with our taxes.

[CurlyDave]

Sperm banks pay for the sperm and some men donate steadily for the money...their 'progeny' have a 50-50 chance of meeting and marrying at some point...

Where do you get that probability? It is extraordinarily high.

Since the beginning of time, both men and women have had affairs, often resulting in pregnancy. Children of these affairs have the same, if not higher, chances of meeting, since their parents may well be in the same social circles. There are many, many more of these kids than kids from sperm banks. So far we have not seen devastating biological consequences of this known human behavior.

Sperm banks fill a useful function for some married couples who suffer from infertility. The problems arise when they are used to allow lesbian couples to have children "of their own".

[Mercat]

There is case law on this in, I believe Wisconsin and New Jersey. The focus is on the children. The bio mother is a psychological parent. Anyone interested in the issues can do a search on that term. The article doesn't even mention it and the bio mother's lawyers seem to rely on the biological connection. I doubt whether that will fly because that would open up any child who is conceived through sperm or egg donation to having several parents and in this case, would open up the possibility of the sperm donor (we know there was one. :-/) to also claiming parental rights. A psychological parent is one who makes a home with the legal parent, has significant connections with the child, helps support them financially, etc. This woman fits all of the standards set. I know that it makes social conservatives go balistic. The fact is though, that there are lots of these "families" out there. This is not about gay rights. It's about the rights of the two girls to have a continuing relationship with the two people with whom they bonded for the first eight years of their life. It will be interesting to see whom the "legal mom" brings in to write her friend of the court briefs.

[pax_et_bonum]

When the two mothers re-marry, the twins will have custody divided between their mother and their step-mother and their other mother and their other step-mother.