Posted on 11/26/2003 2:34:30 AM PST by hotpotato
Reporters desperate for a glimpse of Michael Jackson today accidentally trampled al-Qaeda terror boss Osama bin Laden, whose appearance at the singer’s Neverland ranch went virtually unnoticed.
Mr. bin Laden reportedly made the torturous journey from the mountainous region along the Pakistan-Afghanistan border to Santa Barbara in the hopes of receiving a signed copy of Mr. Jackson’s new greatest hits CD, “Number Ones.”
A recent posting on the official al-Qaeda website alluded to Mr. bin Laden’s wish to have a private meeting with Mr. Jackson in which the self-styled King of Pop could teach the terror chief his legendary “moonwalking” dance moves.
But the Saudi madman’s timing could not have been worse, as news of Mr. Jackson’s imminent arrival set off a stampede of cameramen and reporters who trampled the terrified bin Laden.
“I want to learn how to moonwalk and all, but life is too short,” bin Laden reportedly said before returning to his undisclosed cave.
Elsewhere, Democratic presidential candidate Wesley Clark said that the Santa Barbara sheriff’s office had no clear “exit strategy” from the Neverland ranch and urged that the seventy or so law enforcement personnel swarming over the estate be replaced by NATO troops.
French President Jacques Chirac said that France would not participate in such a force but would be more than willing to occupy Britney Spears.
Newly elected California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had no comment on the Jackson controversy, but apologized to workers at the state capitol after his body repeatedly set off the building's metal detectors.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.