Trucker crashes while changing clothes

indystar. ^ | 11113

[trussell]

There wasn't a URL, that was sent to me in an email. Here it is in it's entirety:

Subject: Stella Awards

Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2003 01:12:09 -0800 (PST)

It's time once again to review the winners of the
annual "Stella Awards." The Stella's are named after
81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on
herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case
inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous
successful lawsuits in the United Unfortunately, the
most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's, the teen's
who allege that eating at McDonald's has made them
fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed.
This suit will top the 2003 list without question.

Here are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie):

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded
$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her
ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a
furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering
the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's
son.

5th Place (tie):

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand
with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't
notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie):

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving
a house he had just finished robbing by way of the
garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go
up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
He couldn't re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled
it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson
found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He
subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag
of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
claiming the situation caused him undue mental
anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place:

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded
$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the
buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The
beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The
award was less than sought because the jury felt the
dog might have been just a little provoked at the time
by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into
the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet
gun.

3rd Place:

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber
Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she
slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx
(tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued
the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when
she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and
knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while
Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in
the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place:

This year's run away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a
brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first
trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven
onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph
and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back
and make himself a cup of coffee.
Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not
advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't
actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000
plus a new motor home. The company actually changed
their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case
there were any other complete morons buying recreation
vehicles.

I WONDER WHO WE SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT MORE, THE
JURIES THAT AWARDED THE WINNINGS OR THE JUDGES WHO LET
THE AWARDS GO THROUGH.

[ErnBatavia]

Years ago, before they sold to a more staid publisher, the Newhall (CA) Signal would publish quirky photos...they had one of a big rig that had rear-ended another close to Magic Mountain.

The front page photo was of the driver, who'd of course been trapped in his sorta crushed cab, being extracated - with his pants below his knees.

Apparently he'd been having a wank and mistimed the moment of truth.

[Stone Mountain]

Urban legend - see:

http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.htm

[trussell]

I know, I just thought it was funny enough to add to this thread!!

[southernnorthcarolina]

Well, this would seem to indicate that there are more dangerous things to do while driving than talking on a cell phone.

Reminds me of a story... A woman was was weaving as she drove down the freeway at 70 mph. A police officer behind her turned on his blue light, but it was clear that she was preoccupied with something, and she didn't notice the policeman. He pulled up alongside her, looked over, and saw to his great surprise that she was knitting as she sped down the road, alternately looking down at her knitting, and up to see where she was going.

The policeman lowered his right window, and yelled at her: "Pull over!" Finally aware of the policeman's presence, she looked over at him, and yelled in response: "No! It's a cardigan!"

Thank you. Thankyouverymuch. I'll be here all night. Try the veal. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

[InvisibleChurch]

thanks for the laff