Brand names: Some Americans are naming their children after consumer products

WORLD ^ | 11/15/03 | Gene Edward Veith

[rhema]

NAMES, THE EMBLEMS OF A PERSON'S IDENTITY, used to mean something. "Abraham" means "father of a multitude." "Moses" means "draws out," as of the River Nile and as he would draw the people out of slavery. "Jesus" means "God saves," so that His very name testifies to His deity and His saving work.

In other tribal societies, people are sometimes named for animals ("Sitting Bull") or for something else in nature ("Red Cloud"). The same holds true for European tribes: "Beowulf" means "bee wolf," a figure of speech for "bear." In the Middle Ages, children born on a Saint's Day were named for that saint, giving them their patron saint. Puritans started naming their children after virtues, such as Faith and Prudence, or after other abstractions such as Increase.

Then the meaning of names began to lie generally in some association, as in naming a child for someone in the Bible. Many names have family significance, with children named after parents, ancestors, or other relatives.

The main criterion for names today, though, is not so much their meaning as whether they sound good. Some parents, in order to ensure their child's utter individuality, make up unique names, a set of musical syllables and unusual spellings designed to ensure that no one else in the world has exactly that name.

As the pop culture—the world of entertainment and commercialism—drives out traditional culture, from education to the church, it shows up too in the names people choose for their children. Decades from now, adults will find themselves saddled with the names of by then old-fashioned pop stars who happened to have been big at the time their mothers gave birth. Soap-opera characters, it has been noted, are a major influence on the names of real babies.

A new trend in baby names, however, takes the pop-culture influence to a new level. Cleveland Evans, a psychology professor at Nebraska's Bellevue University and a member of the American Name Society, studied Social Security records for the year 2000 and found that many children today are being named after consumer products.

Twenty-two girls registered that year were named "Infiniti." Not "Infinity" with a "y," as in the illimitable attribute of God, but "Infiniti" with an "i," as in the car. There were also 55 boys named "Chevy" and five girls named "Celica."

Hundreds of children were named after clothing companies. There were 298 girls named "Armani." There were 164 named after the more casual "Nautica." Six boys were named "Timberland," after the boot.

Sometimes the clothing namesakes are more generic, with a special emphasis on fabrics. Five girls were named "Rayon." Six boys were named "Cashmere," seven were named "Denim," and five were named "Cotton" (though perhaps this was for Increase Mather's son).

Forty-nine boys were named "Canon," after the camera. Seven boys were named "Del Monte," apparently in honor of canned vegetables. Twenty-one girls were named "L'Oreal," after the hair dye, presumably to let them know that "you are worth it."

"Sky" might be the name of a nature-loving flower child's offspring (as in River Phoenix), but 23 girls and 6 boys were named "Skyy." This is a brand of vodka. Parents are naming their children after other alcoholic beverages, too. Nine girls were named "Chianti." Six boys were named "Courvoisier."

Perhaps the ultimate product name for kids uncovered by Mr. Evans was ESPN. Two separate parents, one in Texas and one in Michigan, named their sons after the sports cable network. A reporter for the Dallas Morning News traced down the family of big sports fans and learned that the correct pronunciation of little ESPN's name is "espen."

So what does this mean? Are children being seen in the same terms as consumer products or other possessions? Certainly, just as there are trophy wives, there are now trophy children. The desire to own a baby is driving much of the new reproductive technologies. Babies are already being bought and sold in the practice of hiring surrogate mothers.

Certainly parents have the right to name a child anything they want, and it is wrong to give someone a hard time just for having an unusual name, which, as in Johnny Cash's boy named Sue, can be a character-building experience. (Maybe he could have changed the spelling to "Sioux.")

For some, the "Christian name," as it is called, is given at baptism. And its true significance comes from that one individual identity being identified with and joined to a greater name: "ESPN, I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit."

Christians find their own name and identity—whatever it is—in the name of Jesus, "God saves."

[Fzob]

What is wrong with people?

I think pure unadulterated cultural ignorance or stupidity is the only answer.

A few years ago I read in a magazine about the ten stupidest names given kids born in Philly that year. The winner was some poor kid that got the name Shithead. Pronounced Shi'thead. I can just picture his poor teacher the first day of school.

[Moonmad27]

You can find a Social Security list of most popular names for this year and previous ones, but it's not related to individual people. I needed a list of the top 500 or so baby names to suggest as my office prepares birth certificates, and found that Social Security site by Google. As I sign finished certificates, I just feel so sorry for some of the new babies because of their parents' bad choice of names, especially cringing at Britney and any deliberately misspelled names. I guess it's always that way. The lists of past years are interesting - I remember my school classmates were often named Debbie, Karen or Carol, and those names sure aren't high on the list these days.

[vetvetdoug]

I guess Winchester, Remington, Colt, Glock, Springfield and Ruger are out because of the PC componet.

[Fzob]

Future Metrosexual. :)

I don't know. Sounds more like future homosexual to me.

[Qwinn]

A friend of mine also swears that he was once given a credit card at the store he worked at where the last name on the card was F***. My friend asked and was told that apparently this is not an entirely uncommon name in some countries abroad, and he was in the process of getting it changed to Fuch (along with the phonetic change of making it a long u).

Now, that friend wasn't the most totally trustworthy individual in the world, so he -could- have been making it up. But still, I always had to wonder what it would have like to be this guy's friend. What do you say when you see him after a long separation? "Hey, John! Great to see you! How's the wife? How's the little F***'s?"

Still, I think the two worst names I actually ever encountered in my -own- life were both last names for girls that I knew. One poor girl was named Updegrove, which lends itself to about 10,000 different horrible distortions. One open to less creative manipulation, but potentially even more damning, was a girl with the last name of Suchavich.

Qwinn

[sgtbono2002]

Speaking of having an obscenity for a name , how about "Hillary"

[johnny7]

Everyone on this thread is decended from the legendary A. 'Bull' Shitter... IMHO.

[rhema]

I guess Winchester, Remington, Colt, Glock, Springfield and Ruger are out because of the PC componet.

Not if we're truly dedicated to celebrating diversity. We've gotta give little Walther PPK his due, too.

[Bon mots]

25 posts and nobody has mentioned that these are likely hyphenated Americans. I met a black woman once who named her son Dijon, then got mad when people said it sounded like "some kind of mustard..."

Well, DUH.

Guess it just sounded French to her... hey, now there's a name...

[johniegrad]

If I lived in New York, I'd name my son Nosmo King.

[whereasandsoforth]

"I am Woman" Helen Reddy told the audience during a concert at SMU that she her son's middle name is Dallas. She said he was conceive in Dallas. Maybe these product tie-ins are an extention of that kind of thinking.

[VeritatisSplendor]

my dr told me about a baby girl in Philadelphia who her husband treated -- the girl's name was Female (pronounced Femalli)-- she hadn't yet been named when she left the hospital after being delivered; her parents saw Female on the birth certificate and assumed someone from the hospital had stepped in and given her a name, and they liked it, I guess...

Mrs VS

[DefCon]

and then there were the two brothers named
le-monj-ello and or-angej-ello ...

[independentmind]

My sister-in-law often encounters disadvantaged children in her job. A few years ago she worked with a set of twins named Princess and Precious.

[laredo44]

My sister knew a family by the last name of Tissue. Now that's unfortunate enough. If you could think of the worst realistic name to give that male child, what would it be? Yes, believe it or not, in their eternal wisdom, they named their child Scott.

I knew a kid whose family name was Pullen. The parents named him Peter.

[Larsen E. Whipsnade]

A friend of mine who used to work in a hospital told me he heard of a woman who named her daughter Placenta because she liked the way it sounded. Undoubtedly another democrat voter.

[GodBlessRonaldReagan]

A friend of mine worked in the Birth Records department of the State a while back - she said you wouldn't believe the names. The best was Listerine, closely followed by Oral Blow! I think I would kill my parents for that...

[Fifth Business]

I met a black woman once who named her son Dijon

Ever meet a LaTrina?

[Xenalyte]

I am Woman" Helen Reddy told the audience during a concert at SMU that she her son's middle name is Dallas. She said he was conceive in Dallas.

So THAT's why my parents named me Backseat Dodge!