Brand names: Some Americans are naming their children after consumer products

WORLD ^ | 11/15/03 | Gene Edward Veith

[carpio]

Never heard of John Prine? You are in for a treat. He is the greatest song writer/country folk singer who ever lived. Click here for some basic info. I just bought this rebuilt computer and am just learning the ropes with it. I seem to have lost the ability to post a link. Here is the web address www.shrout.co.uk/jpbackpage.html

[Terry Mross]

For several years I've been saying that it won't belong before you'll see some football players at Texas A&M named "DOWNLOAD JONES", "HARD DRIVE WASHINGTON" and "GIGA BITE SMITH". My wife says one of the cheer leaders will be named "MIRACLE WHIP".

[aruanan]

I think two. See Post 150.

[Looking4Truth]

There was a girl in my junior high school named Star Hash.

My ex-inlaws had neighbors who were named Mycock. His name was Jack and her's was Pat. NO SH*T!

[Looking4Truth]

My sister-in-law often encounters disadvantaged children in her job. A few years ago she worked with a set of twins named Princess and Precious.

Well that way when they grow up to be crack ho's they don't need aliases. :-)

[Terry Mross]

Then there's the woman who named her son "Pa Juh Mus". Said she took the name from the sleepwear section of the Sears and Roebuck catalog.

[Lx]

My wife was on a flight and heard a woman call her daughter. Her daughter's name, Areola.
From dictionary.com:
2. (Anat. & Med.) The colored ring around the nipple, or around a vesicle or pustule.

I also found a slightly different spelling that means:
A circle of light or radiance surrounding the head or body of a representation of a deity or holy person; a halo.

I don't know which one she meant or whether she even knew but it's too close for comfort for me.

I forgot what comedian it was but he was talking about how bad kids names were and that they might as well call their kids, Falloplia or Testicleese.

[Renfield]

I can beat that. In college, I knew a girl named Anita Hurt, and another named Anita Miracle. When I worked for the University of Kentucky, there was a woman working for Henderson Community College (in the U.K. system) whose name was Gaye Midget. I could go on and on here...I've been collecting funny names for years.

One of the best (true story): My sister used to work in L.A. as an admittance clerk in a hospital that specialized in providing malleable penile implants for impotent men. One day, an oriental man came in for an implant. His name was HUNG DONG! (A few years later, there was an item on the news about a man named Hung Dong who was arrested in L.A. for running a Vietnamese prostitution ring. I suspect strongly that it was the same man.)

[Renfield]

My cousin knows of a black woman who named her daughter Placenta.

[Renfield]

There was a girl (Phillipino immigrant) who went to my high school, whose real name was Queenie.

[Renfield]

Yep. There used to be a young black woman who was a cashier at the Harris-Teeter supermarket in Florence, South Carolina, by the name of Latrina. She was oblivious to the implications of her name.

[Renfield]

One of my friends knows a man--a used car dealer--in Fayetteville, North Carolina, whose name is Joe Blow.

[stand watie]

understood. when i was a child, a classmate of mine was named Montgomery Ward _________.

his mother said that without a father on his birth certificate, that he would need something to make him "classy" and besides she liked to shop in the "big book".

i plan to memorialize this sort of "poor bokra" culture by naming the Governor of MS, in my new novel "Sons of Blood & Daughters of Fire", Sears Roebuck Snopes.

free dixie,sw

[JoJo Gunn]

"There's a hole in Daddy's arm, where all the money goes...."

[lavrenti]

The worst name ever, and I kid you not, was a woman who named her daughter Clymadia.

People this ignorant deserve none of the rewards of citizenship.

[Renfield]

I knew a girl named Ivy Bush in college.

[arthurus]

The very best name I've heard belongs to a onetime student in my wife's third grade class(she teaches spec ed). The boy was named Neosynepherine Nyquil + his mama's family name. He made the news locally a few years later for being in an accident but in the paper he was Neo.

[arthurus]

Soon the Jones' family will be naming their little boys Dow. The matriarch of the Lynch family will be named Merrill.

I don't know Merrill but I have met Dow. He is 8 now.

[arthurus]

kid that got the name Shithead

There are many of these, and Placentas, and a few Vaginas&Vageenas. My wife has taught one each.

[arthurus]

"Shithead"

As I said, there are quite a few of these now and it is the schools that generally mpose and enforce the Shi-THE-id pronunciation. Daddies and Mom's boyfriends stick with the more traditional sound.