Norm McDonald - Canadian comedian becoming a USA citizen due to Canada not supporting USA

from The View show | 10/30/03 | ILMH-vanity

[Chunga]

"In Washington State, elementary school teacher Mary Kay LeTourneau pleaded guilty to having sex with a sixth-grade student.... LeTourneau has been branded a sex offender, or as the kids refer to her, 'the greatest teacher of all time.'"

[Chunga]

"And in Connecticut, where I live, a house race was won by a margin of just two votes. Well, that's good. My vote still wouldn't have made any difference at all."

[Chunga]

"Magic Johnson has received a $900,000 retainer to write a book on how not to get AIDS. Chapter 1: Don't have sex with me."

[Chunga]

"In Congress, members of the House Women's Caucus say prosecution of sex offenders must be the Army's top priority, despite concerns of racial insensitivity on the part of investigators, which would be the second priority. Then, I guess, the Army's third priority would be defending the nation."

[Chunga]

"Despite recent criticism, the school board of Oakland has decided to proceed with its controversial Ebonics programs for city schools. In fact, school board officials today announced the winner of the first city-wide Ebonics spelling bee: fourth-grader Soon Jyoop Kim."

[Chunga]

"President Clinton this week declined an offer by Republicans to form a bipartisan commission to scale back annual increases in Social Security. Asked why he rejected the proposal, the President said, 'Personally, I liked the idea of a bipartisan commission. However, the two Chinese guys who gave me a million dollars just wouldn't go for it!'

[Chunga]

"Our top story tonight, Attorney General Janet Reno announced she will not name an independent council to investigate campaign fund raising by the President. At a press conference, she said, quote, 'The decision was mine, it was based on the facts, on the law, not pressure, not politics, not any other factor.' She was then led away at gunpoint by the First Lady and nine Chinese guys."

[Chunga]

"Despite pressure, jailed Whitewater swindlers Jim and Susan McDougall are still refusing to testify about President Clinton's role in the scandal and some are charging that the President has secretly promised them a pardon in return for their silence. Well, in a candid interview this week, the President admitted that he might consider pardoning the two, but only after making `Every effort to have them killed in prison."'

[gathersnomoss]

Yo, are you Norm? Good stuff.

[gathersnomoss]

It is obvious to me that NBC had him removed from SNL because he nailed the liberal BS without being PC. Tkx Norm.

[Chunga]

No, if I were Norm I'd have excluded the quotation marks.

He is my favorite comedian though. I've almost choked to death several times laughing at him.

[Chunga]

"On Tom Snyder this week, actor Tony Danza said he thought the recent open display of affection by lesbian couple Ellen Degeneres and Anne Heche in front of President Clinton was extremely disrespectful. On hearing the comment, President Clinton responded, 'Someone should tell Tony Danza to shut the hell up!'"

[Chunga]

"Our top story tonight comes from the O.J. Simpson civil trial, where this week it was revealed that in his first interview with police, Simpson had refused to take a lie detector test. His reason -- it detects lies."

[Chunga]

"Our top story tonight comes from the O.J. Simpson civil trial, where this week it was revealed that in his first interview with police, Simpson had refused to take a lie detector test. His reason -- it detects lies."

[KantianBurke]

"Who are safer drivers? Men, or women?? Well, according to a new survey, 55% of adults feel that women are most responsible for minor fender-benders, while 78% blame men for most fatal crashes. Please note that the percentages in these pie graphs do not add up to 100% because the math was done by a woman. [Crowd groans.] For those of you hissing at that joke, it should be noted that that joke was written by a woman. So, now you don't know what the hell to do, do you? [Laughter] Nah, I'm just kidding, we don't hire women."

[wku man]

SNL has sucked for years, now that Hartman, Farley, Sandler, Nealon and GE Smith and his band are gone. Norm was the last really funny, really enjoyable member of the cast, and now the show just completely sucks. I haven't watched it since he was canned. Welcome aboard, Norm! Glad to have ya.

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

[ThinkDifferent]

"Secretary of State Madeline Albright has announced that she will represent the United States this summer at ceremonies marking the transfer of British Hong Kong to Chinese rule. President Clinton also plans to attend the event, but he will be representing China."

[VOA]

Rumor was he was canned from SNL for going after president clinton too much.

I hadn't heard that, but wouldn't be suprised at it.

What I do recollect is that he did loose a few blasts at Bill Clinton.

And I saw him on Leno's show this week.
He spent a lot of time talking about looking after his 10-year old son...
sounded like Mr. Suburban Dad trying to do the right thing...
and he was really funny (well, at least to me!)

[VOA]

Norm was the funniest Weekend Update anchor ever.

Sloth,
the examples you cited makes me feel bad about not watching SNL (for the Weekend
Update) more during Norm's tenure.

Got to admit my prejudice for best Weekend Update has been a tie between
Dennis Miller and the current duo.
LOL! Now I'm really confused about picking the best!

[windchime]

Norm MacDonald is refreshingly FUNNY.

I caught part of an interview with Bill McCuddy on Fox. The part I DID catch sent me to the Yellow Pages looking for a cosmetic surgeon. I heard MacDonald say he is sixty-one (61) years old!! Don't know if this is true or he was just joking.