Too Much Coffee Can Induce Aggression And Paranoia

Independent (UK) ^ | 10-26-2003 | Roger Dobson

[Chad Fairbanks]

THIS IS SUCH BULLS**T! I THINK THEY ARE JUST TRYING TO GET ME TO STOP DRINKING COFFEE! IT'S A CONSPIRACY! AND I'LL KILL ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE!!!!!!!!!!!

[Celtjew Libertarian]

And the thing is, if you say that this is being used as part of a long-term effort to ban caffeine, they'll just say it shows that it causes paranoia.

[Celtjew Libertarian]

8>) I consume a lot of caffeine, mostly from carbonated beverages. I once used, as a tagline, "They'll take my cola, when they pry it from my dead, cold, frosty, refreshing hands."

[uglybiker]

Beer makes you look better to the opposite sex.

[Chad Fairbanks]

ROTFL

[Ladysmith]

Whoa, whoa! Settle down! Here, have a cup of coffee with me and we'll talk about it.

[Lazamataz]

Beer makes you look better to the opposite sex.

Beer makes you wittier and more intelligent, too. That's why, when getting drunk, I make it a point to get much louder -- to help people hear that increased wit and intelligence.

[Chad Fairbanks]

Heh heh heh.... Suuuuuure. Like I"m gonna fall for THAT trick ;0)

[WaterDragon]

anxiety neurosis, irregular heart beats, insomnia, muscle twitches, and nervous irritability.

No. These are the symptoms for NOT getting one's daily coffee!

[StatesEnemy]

Doesn't surprise me...

For anyone who doubts the psychoactive power of caffiene, quit the drug completely for a few months, then have an 8oz cup of strong joe.

The thing is, it is a drug that creates a tolerance quickly.

[WaterDragon]

Years ago I took a part-time job as a waitress in a local pub. One day I saw one of the pub's regular customers in a grocery store. I was puzzled because he looked so much seedier than in the evenings at the pub. Then, I kinda figured it out. I don't drink, but I'm sure the beer fumes had me a little high during work, and all the customers were not bad looking and their comments were usually pretty witty. It wasn't a bad job....VERY good tips, and the customers were pretty well-behaved.

[cryptical]

The thing is, it is a drug that creates a tolerance quickly.

It's a gateway drug! No wonder I've been craving smack, it's all the fault of the triple latte I have most mornings! Where are the jack-booted ninja no-knock warrant teams, with mp5's and rappelling gear to save us from the evils of Big Coffee?

[uglybiker]

Beer also cleans the palate, giving you fresh breath. That is why, after the opposite sex has noticed my good looks, I like to get reeeeeeeeal close to them....

and loudly demonstrate my increased wit and intelligence.

[Tom Jefferson]

Apropos of your posting, I thought I would include an entry in the blog of http://electricvenom.com:

Coffee Talk
Contrary to public belief, I am not a particularly high-maintenance diva. Life in Hawai'i is simply too damn expensive for me to demand being catered to in the style to which I was once accustomed. So, in order to preserve my beach-side status, I've learned to make a few concessions to budgeting constraints. Most of the time, I don't even bitch about them.

But by God, there is one corner that must not be cut because the pay-off is simply not worth it: coffee. My morning coffee is the one thing that prevents me from strangling those who get perky and chipper before I've been awake for an hour. It is my elixir of life. My font of rejuvenation. It is the sole reason I get out of bed and shrug off the comfort of sleep in favor of doing laundry, vacuuming floors and cooking meals between endless rounds of playing with cars, doodling with Crayons and watching reruns of Caillou. I think about coffee throughout the day. I dream of it at night sometimes. And every so often when the winds blow just right, I get a whiff of it from the roasting factory up the road and know that I truly do live in paradise if mere air can smell that enticing.

Coffee is to me what hairspray is to Dolly Parton, what botox is to Joan Collins, what steroids are to Mark McGwire, what heroin is to Keith Richards.

In other words: do not fuck with my coffee. Do not put a half-dose of new grounds in with the old and run water through, then try to convince me it's a "fresh pot." Do not use four scoops in place of six, then tell me it "tastes better" that way. Do not reheat yesterday's leftovers in the pot or the microwave and then chastise me for being wasteful when I instinctively spit it out on the floor.

And - unless you want to die a slow death boiled in your own juices, roasted over a low pit of flames and then ground into fine powder that I'll keep in a rusted can under the cupboard "for just such an emergency" - never, ever, EVER drink the last of my Kona then offer to make me a pot from the pre-measured filter bags you brought home from some hotel two years ago.

I think that's a fair warning. Don't you?

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Too much coffee can induce aggression and paranoia

Who told him to say that? I'll beat their head in I will!

[Just another Joe]

Too much coffee can induce aggression and paranoia

So can too little sleep.

Put 'em together and what do you have? - - one mean SOB.

[mrsmith]

This article is just part of the Alcoa Corp. disinformation campaign to hide from us the simple fact that caffeine counteracts the deadening rays of the aliens' mind control satellites.
That's right we don't need to buy their foil for helmets anymore- as long as we have an assured supply of coffee. Starbucks is part of the resistance.

But please remember: you didn't hear this from me!

[Ladysmith]

[snicker!]

[dasboot]

The thing is, it is a drug that creates a tolerance quickly.

Whenever I make a pot, I take the first cupful that dribbles out. It's the only way I gat get high without bloating now. I need rehab.