[Chad Fairbanks]

THIS IS SUCH BULLS**T! I THINK THEY ARE JUST TRYING TO GET ME TO STOP DRINKING COFFEE! IT'S A CONSPIRACY! AND I'LL KILL ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE!!!!!!!!!!!

[Celtjew Libertarian]

And the thing is, if you say that this is being used as part of a long-term effort to ban caffeine, they'll just say it shows that it causes paranoia.

[uglybiker]

Beer makes you look better to the opposite sex.

[WaterDragon]

anxiety neurosis, irregular heart beats, insomnia, muscle twitches, and nervous irritability.

No. These are the symptoms for NOT getting one's daily coffee!

[StatesEnemy]

Doesn't surprise me...

For anyone who doubts the psychoactive power of caffiene, quit the drug completely for a few months, then have an 8oz cup of strong joe.

The thing is, it is a drug that creates a tolerance quickly.

[Tom Jefferson]

Apropos of your posting, I thought I would include an entry in the blog of http://electricvenom.com:

Coffee Talk
Contrary to public belief, I am not a particularly high-maintenance diva. Life in Hawai'i is simply too damn expensive for me to demand being catered to in the style to which I was once accustomed. So, in order to preserve my beach-side status, I've learned to make a few concessions to budgeting constraints. Most of the time, I don't even bitch about them.

But by God, there is one corner that must not be cut because the pay-off is simply not worth it: coffee. My morning coffee is the one thing that prevents me from strangling those who get perky and chipper before I've been awake for an hour. It is my elixir of life. My font of rejuvenation. It is the sole reason I get out of bed and shrug off the comfort of sleep in favor of doing laundry, vacuuming floors and cooking meals between endless rounds of playing with cars, doodling with Crayons and watching reruns of Caillou. I think about coffee throughout the day. I dream of it at night sometimes. And every so often when the winds blow just right, I get a whiff of it from the roasting factory up the road and know that I truly do live in paradise if mere air can smell that enticing.

Coffee is to me what hairspray is to Dolly Parton, what botox is to Joan Collins, what steroids are to Mark McGwire, what heroin is to Keith Richards.

In other words: do not fuck with my coffee. Do not put a half-dose of new grounds in with the old and run water through, then try to convince me it's a "fresh pot." Do not use four scoops in place of six, then tell me it "tastes better" that way. Do not reheat yesterday's leftovers in the pot or the microwave and then chastise me for being wasteful when I instinctively spit it out on the floor.

And - unless you want to die a slow death boiled in your own juices, roasted over a low pit of flames and then ground into fine powder that I'll keep in a rusted can under the cupboard "for just such an emergency" - never, ever, EVER drink the last of my Kona then offer to make me a pot from the pre-measured filter bags you brought home from some hotel two years ago.

I think that's a fair warning. Don't you?

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Too much coffee can induce aggression and paranoia

Who told him to say that? I'll beat their head in I will!

[Just another Joe]

Too much coffee can induce aggression and paranoia

So can too little sleep.

Put 'em together and what do you have? - - one mean SOB.

[mrsmith]

This article is just part of the Alcoa Corp. disinformation campaign to hide from us the simple fact that caffeine counteracts the deadening rays of the aliens' mind control satellites.
That's right we don't need to buy their foil for helmets anymore- as long as we have an assured supply of coffee. Starbucks is part of the resistance.

But please remember: you didn't hear this from me!

[mhking]

Reach for my coffee mug and you'll draw back a nub...

Just damn.

If you want on the new list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...

[GalvestonGal.com]

Caffiene also fools your insulin levels. It is my one big cheat on the Atkins diet. I've only gained about two pounds on this diet.

[The Old Hoosier]

WHADDA YA MEAN!!! EVERYBODY'S OUT TO GET MY COFFEE!!!

[ElkGroveDan]

It can also increase male fertility.

Well that's obvious (said the father of four).

[stands2reason]

Time for coffee!

[FreedomCalls]

"This message has been brought to you by the Tea Exporter's Association of Great Britain."

[Pukin Dog]

I've worn out two coffee makers this year. I just bought another one that grinds the beans automatically. I buy Kona beans over the Internet. Yesterday, I heard my coffee maker on the phone with my broker, trying to buy more stock on Starbucks, when it thought I was sleeping. I know it took my MasterCard, because the other day, I couldnt find it when I went to Peets to buy more chocolate covered coffee beans. I'm thinking about unpluging it from the wall, but it might get mad, and never make coffee for me again. If that happens, I might just go crazy.

[Ronin]

Uh oh... I must be a timebomb waiting to go off.

[isthisnickcool]

COFFEE!!!!

TWEEKS

(Audio File)

[Prime Choice]

Too much coffee can induce aggression and paranoia

YEAH? WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!

;)

[mystery-ak]

....AND HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COFFEE I DRINK, HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON ME!