Second-Hand Gas Kills 130,000 Americans a Year -

Yahoo.com ^ | October 20, 2003

[UnklGene]

Second-Hand Gas Kills 130,000 Americans a Year

Monday October 20, 2003

Federal health officials are expected to soon issue a report warning the public about the dangers of second-hand gas. Human gas, that is.

"Second-hand gas, if inhaled on a regular basis, can cause headache, irritated eyes, emphysema, asthma, bronchitis and in many cases, heart attack," says a physician with ties to the Centers for Disease Control.

"Each year, approximately 130,000 Americans die from second-hand gas -- and many others suffer serious ailments as a result of long-term exposure.

"Gas-passers and non-gas-passers alike must realize the extent to which breaking wind -- commonly called 'farting' -- damages everyone's health."

According to the soon-to-be-released CDC report, each year second-hand gas causes:

800 heart attacks 250 strokes 30,000 asthma attacks 50,000 cases of earache Due to poor dietary habits, there is now an "epidemic" of flatulence in America, the report warns. The average American produces a staggering three pints of gas and breaks wind 14 to 23 times daily.

[Broadside Joe]

"Second-Hand Gas Kills 130,000 Americans a Year" and "Pew Research Poll"


Do these two things have anything incommon?

[SheLion]

Is This What A Troll Looks Like?

That's AWFUL! Hahaaaaa!

[sheik yerbouty]

That's why a good quality filter should be used, such as a Korn & Nastychunks...

[MattAMiller]

Maybe now those who rip their britches and rattle the windows in the preoccess of methaninating, will get a little respect for a change.

Where do you think those 50,000 cases of earache come from?

[F.J. Mitchell]

"Where do you think those 50,000 cases of earache come from."

LOL! Good point.

[boris]

Somebody sent me one of those circulating e-mails with "facts" you didn't know. One was that if you collected your farts for 9 years and six months, igniting the gas would equal an atomic bomb.

Dubious, I did some research (NASA has details on human flatulence output) and computed that this factoid was correct: but only because the U.S. made sub-kiloton nuclear munitions as small as 0.01 kT or smaller.

--Boris

[SAMWolf]

And they didn't include the flamable fart casualties.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Good, then it is safe ; )

[crz]

Nope! Cant even come close.

[byteback]

Does this make Michael Moore a serial killer?

[OESY]

THE INSIDE STORY:

When Betty and Billy rescued Walter from the pound, they never imagined that such a cute dog was capable of such unpleasant and frequent smells — Walter passes gas constantly! But just when the dog seems destined to be returned to the pound, a remarkable event turns him into a hero, and his new family learns to live with his smells. Walter the Farting Dog becomes a hero when burglars enter the house.

[Skooz]

I think the word "STOLEN" is hyperbolic and inaccurate. Also harsh.

[Skooz]

So that's what our kids are reading?

I thought "Where the Wild Things Are" was pretty wild.

[SAMWolf]

Some people really don't like others to link to their site. :-)

[OESY]

The real questions:

Is our children trying to sing along (or produce sounds to that effect) while reading?

Is there no hope for America with books like this?

Could it possibly get any worse?

[N. Theknow]

Alas, I have scoured the entire WWW and cannot find the "Fart Emulsifier with Frozen Car Door Lock Attachment" I once saw when I lived in Minnesota.

[talleyman]

"Fart silent, fart deep"