Posted on 10/20/2003 3:38:22 PM PDT by ChadGore
I, for one, welcome our new interior decorating overlords.
doh(c) homer
OR: "ACK!...ACK ACK!..ACK!"
FMCDH
Martha Stewart pulled a nice insider deal
Even though she didn't need the bucks
Now her broker says he's gonna turn on her
And she is screaming that the weasel really sucks
Wearing stripes…nice wide stripes would be fitting
Martha would look chic in stripes
In a cute-as-a-pin jail cell sitting
Martha would look chic in stripes
Martha is another of the Clinton friends
She, of course, thinks she's above the law
She learned all her lessons well from Sinkmaster
The ones that he invented back in Arkansas
Wearing stripes…nice wide stripes would be fitting
Martha would look chic in stripes
In a cute-as-a-pin jail cell sitting
Martha would look chic in stripes
A limo liberal who'll use her fame
Oh no…you can't touch her…can't touch her…can't touch her
She didn't do it…she's innocent
The right wing is who to blame
Martha Stewart has no time for questioning
A nice salad she would rather make
She's too busy showing how to trim a rose
Or how to barbecue the world's most perfect steak
Wearing stripes…nice wide stripes would be fitting
Martha would look chic in stripes
In a cute-as-a-pin jail cell sitting
Martha would look chic in stripes
A limo liberal who'll use her fame
Oh no…you can't touch her…can't touch her…can't touch her
She didn't do it…she's innocent
The right wing is who to blame
Martha watches as her empire's crumbling
She is looking like a worn out hag
She does not like who is in the White House now
There is no Roger with a pardon in the bag
Wearing stripes…nice wide stripes would be fitting
Martha would look chic in stripes
In a cute-as-a-pin jail cell sitting
Martha would look chic in stripes
Ha ha ha ha ha ha…she'd look so chic in stripes
Your microwave display reads "TILT!"
You know dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
Leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.
Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crock pot nine days old tastes like.
Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.
Your family seems really interested in going to that restaurant that always has trouble passing the health inspection.
If the EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red "biohazard" symbols.
When you BBQ two of your kids hold water guns and the third has the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
Pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and patent your recipe for candy Christmas cookies.
The smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove.
Your family buys Rolaids, Pepto Bismal, and Tums in bulk.
Your homemade bread loaf can be used as a door stop.
The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire.
Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your roommate and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!
Your tuna noodle broccoli surprise melts plastic and silverware.
You used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, but that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan!
You look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water.
You call your mother to ask how long to boil cabbage to make cole slaw.
If anyone has ever broken a tooth while eating your homemade yogurt.
The family pets are no where to be found during dinner.
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