Dirty Little Secret: Parents Prefer Boys

Netscape (originally from Slate) ^ | 10/15 | Netscape

[laurav]

Dirty Little Secret: Parents Prefer Boys

It's a dirty little secret that you'll want to hide from your daughters: Boys hold their parents' marriages together, while girls break them up.

That's the word from two leading economists at the University of Rochester and the University of California, Los Angeles who maintain that in the United States the parents of a girl are nearly 5 percent more likely to divorce than the parents of a boy, reports Slate magazine. The more daughters a couple has, the greater the chance of a marital split. For example, the parents of three girls are almost 10 percent more likely to divorce than the parents of three boys.

And the risk of divorce climbs even higher in other countries, including Mexico, Colombia, and Kenya. In Vietnam, the chance of divorce for parents of daughters is a surprisingly high 25 percent.

The big question is WHY? Economists Gordon Dahl of Rochester and Enrico Moretti of UCLA have been positing theories, and it pretty much comes down to these two, they told Slate:

Theory No. 1: Sons improve the quality of married life, which suggests that having a son is a blessing.

Theory No. 2: Sons exacerbate the pain of divorce, which suggests that having a son is a curse--or at least would be if the parents split up.

And here's the real shocker: Dahl and Moretti insist that American parents have a strong preference for sons over daughters. This is the evidence they offer:

Mothers of daughters who are divorced are far less likely to remarry than divorced mothers of sons, suggesting that daughters are a liability.

Parents who have only girls are more likely than parents who have only boys to try yet again for a child of the opposite gender.

When an unmarried couple is expecting a baby, they are more likely to get married if the ultrasound shows that the child is a boy.

[cajungirl]

Girls are more difficult than boys,,that is my opinion and I am sticking to it.

[Physicist]

I believe it. I have two daughters and a son, and another daughter on the way.

In my experience, sisters are constantly after each other. Brothers are, too, but with brothers it's more physical, while with girls it's more emotional. My girls are constantly trying to gain emotional advantage over each other, and over their mother. Even their Barbie dolls snipe at each other. My son merely tears up the house, strives to create the worst possible mess, and seeks to put himself into the worst danger, things that are simple to deal with by comparison.

I can certainly believe that any relationship that was strained to begin with could be stressed to the breaking point by a sufficient number of girls.

[showme_the_Glory]

Married 30 years with 3 boys?

[aruanan]

Parents who have only girls are more likely than parents who have only boys to try yet again for a child of the opposite gender.

My dad told me that he's noticed over the years that there were a lot more boy only-child families than girl only-child families.

[Az Joe]

Girls are a pain in the ass.

[suzyq5558]

Keep in mind that if the chinesse keep aborting baby girls there will be no gene spreading by the men. soon men will outnumber women then where will they be???

[MJemison]

When you have boys, you worry. When you have girls, you pray.

[DeFault User]

I know how I was as a teen, so the thought of having to protect my own daughter from that frightens me.

Scary thought, isn't it? I've known dads who had awful experiences raising girls, but my own was so positive that it may influence my opinion. Without going into a long brag, she far exceeded my expectations and still does even after I gave away in marriage.

[suzyq5558]

oh come on it can't be that bad:) i have four daughters and two sons, its a mixed bag. we all can be pains in the ass at times.

[Gerish]

Your mother was a girl!

[Az Joe]

No way. Boys are less complicated and easier.

[Az Joe]

I rest my case.

[oldironsides]

A son is a son until he takes him a wife. A daughter is a daughter all of her life.

[suzyq5558]

but you have to agree you couldnt live without us women around.

[oprahstheantichrist]

Unfortunately, it seems to be human nature, and more specifically the male ego. Look at the diverse cultures of the world, particularly the ones that practice female infanticide (China, India come to mind). They have little in common, but male children are prized, females are at best, tolerated, at worst, done away with.

Something deep in a man wants a mini-me, perhaps to avert his own mortality. Anne Bolyne was discarded by Henry VIII immediately after her son was born dead. Princess Diana's mother was sent by her husband to a myriad of fertility clinics in order to find out "why she kept having girls." She finally did produce one, but by then the marriage was doomed. You can find many more examples throughout history.

Ah, but as a result of medical science, we now know that it's the father's seed that determines the gender of a baby. We're enlightened, and now a woman will no longer be "blamed" for "not producing a male." It appears by this study though, that a man's emotions cannot easily be reasoned with, and a frustration, albiet perhaps small, still exists in a father that has sired only girls.

It's not all men of course, but clearly some will still unconciously or subconciously blame the wife and hence, the slight difference in divorce stats.

My title page says "Jesus was the first feminist," and by that I mean that one of the most significant changes He made in the culture that would evolve into ours today, is that he was the first to value women as much as men, as illustrated by His discourse with the woman at the well, and throughout the book of Luke in particular. Jesus' teachings against divorce are offensive to some, but prior to that Mosaic Law allowed a man to just write a wife a bill of divorce and send her on her way, but this, Jesus said, was only tolerated (by God) because of "the hardness of your hearts," a reference, I believe, to human nature, the male ego and a tendancy by some to discard a woman if he simply got tired of her.

Most of His teachings command resistance to human selfishness, and to behave in ways which don't come naturally to us. Forgiveness is another example. To some men, this includes the cherishing of their daughters as much as their sons.

[RightField]

#31
I have one girl and one boy. The boy was definitely easier. When my daughter would have friends over to play, and they would get whiny and squealing, I wanted to shoo them out of the house to play in the yard. My goodness, they would put up such wails and moans at the thought of having to move their play. OTOH, when my son and his friends were getting too loud or rambunctious in the house, and I would tell them to skedaddle outdoors, off they went, with no argument whatsoever.

I love both of my children dearly, and wouldn't trade either one, but my daughter still harbors the suspicion that she IS the center of the universe!!

[Monti Cello]

Does anyone know the Democrat Party position on a woman's right to choose to abort girls alone?

[Ciexyz]

Ten Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter

Check out the Dierks Bentley video on CMT (Country Music TV) for the gun-toting Dad peppering the tailgate of the car of his daughter's boyfriend.

[suzyq5558]

I will concede this one thing my son always brings me flowers from the nursery next door with an i love you mom note.
my daughter on the other has never once done this but she does show her affection in other ways such as doing her chores with out being told.
boys and girls ,men and women are differnt and i am thankful every day for these differences.

[Ciexyz]

I know of one case where the couple split up after raising two daughters, and the man remarried, and is now happy with a younger wife and a new baby son. This is a case where raising a boy will probably keep them together.