Posted on 09/19/2008 9:38:29 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
Good morning, hillbilly mouth-breathers! How are we today? Did we put our shoes on the correct feet and wipe all the drool off our faces before heading outside to plant turnips and whup our kids? Good, good.
Now go find a Democrat to help you read the rest of this post. Ill try not to use words that are too big or fancy but if you come across something you dont understand, your Democrat friend is right there to explain everything.
Ive been concerned ever since I ran the reader poll that showed me that 95% of you are ignorant racists with sexual inadequacies. The world told you what to do but you wont listen and I guess thats because youre just too dumb to know how dumb you are.
Well, thank God for Barack Obama and Joe Biden. They hope to bring the change you can believe in - if you can just try really hard to put down the guns and Bibles and burning crosses long enough to take some learnin.
The first step is to only listen to the correct political commentary. Obama, last summer:
"The one thing that I want to insist on is that, as I travel around the country, the American people are a decent people. Now they get confused sometimes. You know, they listen to the wrong talk radio shows or watch the wrong TV networks, um, but theyre, theyre basically decent, theyre basically sound."
See, youre good folks but you just dont know whats good for you. You listen to Rush Limbaugh, and that is wrong. You watch Fox News Channel, also wrong.
Now, he wasnt clear on which radio or TV shows are the right ones to watch, but Im guessing they would include all the ones who are blatantly and unapologetically in the tank for Mr. Obama himself. Youre too stupid and confused to know it, but that would be ALL OF THEM EXCEPT FOX. Your Democrat helper-friend can show you how to use your TV channel menus and radio tuning dial to find those. Try not to get any poop or slobber on those devices during your lesson.
As for why youre so confused and misguided, well its simple. Mr. Biden explained it yesterday:
"The Republican party and some of the blogs and others on the far right, are trying very hard to paint a picture of this man, theyre trying the best as they can to mischaracterize who he is and what he stands for.
All this stuff about how different Barack Obama is, theyre not just used to somebody really smart. Theyre just not used to somebody whos really well educated. They just dont know quite how to handle it. Cause if hes as smart as Barack is he must not be from my neighborhood."
Aint that the plum truth? I personally have never met anyone as smart or as educated as Barack Obama. Why, in my immediate family there are only two master degrees, one college professor, two engineers, one licensed P.A. (high-level medical professional), and one director of an honors math department. So, no, I just cant handle someone like Barack with all his education and brains. Its completely beyond my scope of understanding and it is yours, too. Dont get confused by Sean Hannity and go thinking otherwise.
(That would be racist.)
You know who is smart enough to handle Barack? This douche, I mean genius on the Huffington Post:
if you are a McCain/Palin/Bush voter, you and I do not have a difference of opinion. We have a difference in brain power.
Now, I want to be clear and speak directly to those of you who LOVED that Palin interview. Youre an idiot. I mean that.
if you watched those interview excerpts and werent scared out of your freakin mind, then youre mentally ill, mentally disabled, or mentally disturbed. What you are NOT is responsible, informed, curious, thoughtful, mature, educated, empathetic, or remotely serious. I mean it.
Stop voting for people who remind you of your neighbor. Stop voting for the ideologically intransigent, the staggeringly ignorant, and the blazingly incompetent.
Vote for someone smarter than you.
Clearly, Huffington Post is one of the correct avenues from which you should be getting your information.
Well, morons, I hope this has been helpful. Frankly, Im surprised so many dummies are even able to access my blog, seeing as how it requires taking your finger out of your booger-laden nose long enough to wield a mouse. If youre like me, you had to have a Democrat turn on the computer for you and show you where to click.
In fact a Democrat is typing this for me right now because Im so confused about how to handle Obamas staggering genius that Ive curled into the fetal position and am sucking my thumb, which I only stop doing long enough to shout out the N-word and ask for some juice and Froot Loops. After Ive been fed, my Democrat is going to read aloud from Daily Kos for me until its time for my nap.
1) Ban anyone from voting who falls below 90 on a standard IQ test. If liberals are smarter, such a ban should boost the Democrats. But we all know the opposite would happen.
2) Study population migration patterns. Do conservatives flock to liberal areas to take advantage of the better quality of life there, or do liberals flock to conservative areas for that same reason? Clearly it's the latter. People didn't flee from New Hampshire to Massachusetts, they did the opposite. Colorado Republicans didn't flee to California after wrecking their state, but Dems from California fled to Colorado. Clearly, liberals run places into the ground with their stupidity, and then they flee to more sensible conservative regions.
3) Propose restoring the public schools to the higher intellectual standards that prevailed in the conservative 1950s. Will conservatives object, or will it be liberals who object? Does anyone even have to ask?
Well L I B, I must be part of the 95 % who are gunna get a check from them thar revenooers. Darn tootin!! Hoo boy, ain’t that sweet, I don’t pay no tax, says right cheer in my paystub, nope, not a penny to those dang revenooers. Now, don’t get me going bout that dang thing on thar called FICA and Medicare. That they get me fer!!! But a $1000 buckeroos. Hoo Boy, that’ll last me, what???? Dern truck takes a hunnert bucks to fill that dang thing. Gee thanks.
I may be wrong but I understood 0bamas world poverty progamn (redistribution of wealth) to Africa to amount to more than 875 billion dollars over 10 years.
LMAO. This is what they think of us.
Dagny, ifn your patient, Im shure that sometime in the next few weks someone will knock on your door (yup, even if your livin in a trailer or old school bus), and talk (down) to yew bout the One weve all bin waiting fer. That pirson will be a Democrat, who by daffynition will have a MUCH bigger brian than yew.
Ifn your real real nice and lissen to evrything and aggrree with evrything, mebye you culd ask for help larnin the keyboard - that flat thing by the computre that has chicklet things with strange shapes on them - and sending e-males. Dont mention that yew want to emale this artikle, though, cause then yew wont get any help. Jus hide the artikle behind your guns and Bible - that Democrat wont go anywhere neer them things!
I found out from the internet that Obama is a crack-smoking homosexual.
I wasn’t sure who I was going to vote for and then I saw this fellow’s video:
http://www.youtube.com/user/larrysinclair0926
NO WAY can I vote for a crack-smoking homosexual like Obama.
“I may be wrong but I understood 0bamas world poverty progamn (redistribution of wealth) to Africa to amount to more than 875 billion dollars over 10 years. “
I suspect that Congress has already floated this crap out before but the piggy bank has been lying on the floor in pieces for a long time now. I doubt either party will make a signficant difference.
I’n surry, I cain’t reed it. Mebbee if’n I click on that thar butt’n up ther a dimocratic-tipe purson ken reed it to me at wurk.
That was a purty gud artickle. I din’t know that the Obamessiah sed this:
“The one thing that I want to insist on is that, as I travel around the country, the American people are a decent people. Now they get confused sometimes. You know, they listen to the wrong talk radio shows or watch the wrong TV networks, um, but theyre, theyre basically decent, theyre basically sound.”
Raychill Lukeass?
now y wood any1 wont two naim a gurl Ray?
duh !
Luv ya, girl!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.