Free Republic
Browse · Search
GOP Club
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Where is John Edwards???

Posted on 11/01/2004 4:29:10 AM PST by OldEagle

John Edwards has dropped off the radar. I have not seen him in weeks. There has to be a reason. Does anybody know?


TOPICS: Campaign News
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 11/01/2004 4:29:10 AM PST by OldEagle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: OldEagle

He scares people to death.

Seriously, I don't know ... .


2 posted on 11/01/2004 4:31:16 AM PST by nmh (Intelligent people recognize Intelligent Design (God).)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nmh

getting his hair done...so now leave the little boy alone will yas!


3 posted on 11/01/2004 4:32:09 AM PST by rrrod
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: OldEagle
Bad collick injury.
4 posted on 11/01/2004 4:33:29 AM PST by atomicpossum (If there are two Americas, John Edwards isn't qualified to lead either of them.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: OldEagle
John Edwards has dropped off the radar. I have not seen him in weeks.

John's pretending to be Dick Cheney and camping out in the "undisclosed location".

5 posted on 11/01/2004 4:33:47 AM PST by jriemer (We are a Republic not a Democracy)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: OldEagle

I think I saw him dropping his wife off at Denny's.


6 posted on 11/01/2004 4:34:40 AM PST by sierrahome (Department of Redundancy Department)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: OldEagle

He's a major liability; they finally know that now and they're keeping him out of sight.


7 posted on 11/01/2004 4:36:02 AM PST by 7.62 x 51mm (• veni • vidi • vino • visa • "I came, I saw, I drank wine, I shopped")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 7.62 x 51mm

I agree. He was supposed to bring Southern states to Kerry, but didn't bring even his own.


8 posted on 11/01/2004 4:37:24 AM PST by paudio (CLINTON BOMBED BELGRADE WITHOUT EVEN BOTHER GOING TO THE UN...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: OldEagle

His wife ate him.


9 posted on 11/01/2004 4:39:34 AM PST by PBRSTREETGANG
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: OldEagle

I think he is still in "hair and make up".


10 posted on 11/01/2004 4:40:13 AM PST by jennyjenny
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 7.62 x 51mm

That is what I suspect. Could it be something he said or the hair-do video?


11 posted on 11/01/2004 4:54:26 AM PST by OldEagle (Haven't been wrong since 1947, but some are still hoping!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: OldEagle
The Kerry campaign is trying to keep the information from the public.

John Edwards was seriously injured in a botched canker-postule-zit removal operation attempted in Mexico.

The story is that Edwards and his wife were on a secret trip to Mexico where she was scheduled to have liposuction done using one of those big lipo machines only used in Mexico. While they were there doctors offered to remove the "canker-postule-zit" from Edward's face. Unfortunately it turns out that it is not a blemish but the top of what is left of a twin brother that was never born but absorbed into Edwards lip in the womb. The zit looking thing was the twin brothers head. Which was removed by doctors before they discovered this and that it was not an unsightly zit that seemed to follow you around the room like a spooky pair of eyes.

After the operation everyone was shocked to learn that Edwards no longer cared about his hair. Or anything else for that matter. It was discovered that Edwards head is mostly empty and that the little zit was the brain of the twin. Who controlled all of Edwards ability to think and talk.

Edwards has some of his own limited brain function and the campaign is currently having Edwards learn to lip sync his old speeches. He is currently being taught by Ashlee Simpson and Eminem how to do this.

Doctors say that even without a brain Edwards can still be a trial lawyer after he and Kerry lose the election.

12 posted on 11/01/2004 5:01:48 AM PST by isthisnickcool (Only dummies play poker with George W. Bush.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: isthisnickcool

Truly imaginative reply, but you left out the status on Liz. Could it be that (a)they are not finished or (b)they finished and there was nothing left but hair?


13 posted on 11/01/2004 5:10:23 AM PST by OldEagle (Haven't been wrong since 1947, but some are still hoping!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: PBRSTREETGANG

Re post 9. How cruel. Very funny though.


14 posted on 11/01/2004 5:12:08 AM PST by Former Proud Canadian (.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: OldEagle

He spontaneously began channeling another infant and has taken to wearing diapers and sucking his thumb. It apparently began with the tongue flicking during the vice-presidential debate. The Kerry Kampaign is spinning that his last uttered words were, "Stem Cell, Save me!"...

Asked for comment Kerry replied, "I saw this back in Vietnam as a young man....." The audio dropped outas the reporter turned and simply walked away.

Seriously, they are probably keeping him out of sight to avoid the "paralyzed will walk" ridicule he would get and his wife for the "No riot if we win" comment. Ted Kennedy has instructed them to meet him in a van down by the river...


15 posted on 11/01/2004 5:50:53 PM PST by Khepri (ETHEREAL TAGLINE)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: OldEagle

What did you expect? - He never showed up for work
when he was in the Senate either!


16 posted on 11/03/2004 5:53:44 AM PST by Warmaster
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Comment #17 Removed by Moderator

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
GOP Club
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson