The GUILD 9-29-2003 My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

1. They were never looking for trouble.

2. But when trouble came, they faced it with courage.

3. They were always on the side of right.

4. They defended good people against bad people.

5. They had high morals.

6. They had good manners.

7. They were honest.

8. They spoke their minds and they spoke the truth, regardless of what people thought or "political correctness," which no one had ever heard of back then.

9. They were a beacon of integrity in the wild, wild West.

10. They were respected. When they walked into a saloon (where they usually drank only sarsaparilla), the place became quiet, and the bad guys kept their distance.

11. If in a gunfight, they could outdraw anyone. If in a fist fight, they could beat up anyone.

12. They always won. They always got their man. In victory, they rode off into the sunset.

[Endeavor]

priceless

[mountaineer]

Didn't the Clintons' sockpuppet Terry McAuliffe say something the other day about how terrible it was that Arnold had mistreated women? I gagged on that big ol' pile of irony.

[lodwick]

Crimmins has yet to disappoint...

Come'on Indidan summer! You can get there.

Cheers, guys.

[lodwick]

Indidian? doh

[lodwick]

Great Dennis Miller take on voting:

Hey, get this. I want to talk about voting.

Since the recall in California's coming up, we'll use that for purposes of our tutorial. And the lesson to be learned is this, if you're too stupid to vote correctly, don't vote.

Now I know they're expecting a big turnout next week, especially now that Arianna Huffington has loosed up her 3.5 votes to freely roam the plains.

And liberals in California are now quibbling with anything that has to do with common sense. They seem to be inferring that some of our citizens cannot navigate the narrow shoals of pushing a chad out with a sharp implement. It would appear that the liberal 9th Circuit court and other left-leaning groups in this state feel that they can poke holes in anything, unless, of course, it's a punch card voting ballot.

Let me reiterate, if you are such a complete zipperhead that you cannot maneuver your way around a chad, guess what? I don't want you to vote, because your vote's stupid. And I'm not talking about run of the mill stupid here either. I'm talking about weapons grade stupidity, OK? It's a chad. Deal with it.

While you're at it, if you do happen to have a pipe cleaner for a brainstem, maybe you ought to practice getting in and out of the shower, before you go to the polling place, because you certainly don't want to put yourself in harm's way entering and exiting the steel vault that is the voting booth.

You know what? I don't believe there are voters out there who can't figure out how to vote. I think for the most part, if you're that big a moron, you tend to stay home on election day and TiVo the "Quick Draw McGraw" marathon on the Cartoon Channel because Baba Looie sounds just like the voice in your head.

Folks, I feel this is another contrarian ACLU contrivance. I blame them for the fact that California is now so far out of the mainstream it's no longer considered to be a contiguous state.

The liberals are so wrong in this case I feel like they're actually gaslighting me. They have somehow now managed to make empathy an intellectual exercise. Beware of that condescension and remember that liberals always feel your pain, unless, of course, they caused it.

Got that? I'm Dennis Miller.


Good rant Dennis.

[MaeWest]

You are in my prayers.

[MaeWest]

She is thin but her makeup accentuates it with too much contouring. That photo makes her look abused....I suppose that will be the next rumor from the Davis camp.

[Iowa Granny]

Indian Summer has arrived. 70 degrees right now. Forcasting now for mid to high 70's all of next week with no chance of rain.

You should have absolutely lovely weather for your visit to the Hawkeye State.

Looking forward to this!

[lodwick]

Super news!

Thanks for this forecast - it sounds like that fat high pressure system is locking in for us.

Cheers.

[MaeWest]

Good grief. Take a look at this FINAL DIRT PUSH TAKES TOLL; CONCERN FOR MARIA'S HEALTH [More allegations against Arnold]

I hope this creates a weapons grade backfire on them.

[Iowa Granny]

This is typical slash and burn. We see it happen here in Iowa every two years. They start dropping stink bombs on Thursday before the election on Tuesday.

It is no wonder it is so difficult to get good people to run for office these days.

[lodwick]

Thank God it will be over Tuesday - or will it.

Some fairly serious bombs are being dropped.

Cheers guys.

[lodwick]

...or will it??

[Iowa Granny]

Thank God it will be over Tuesday - or will it.

Not necessarily. I expect a challenge. There are rumors out there that Bust the Mighty has people in place to challenge. And I read somewhere this week they are trying to raise money to pay lawyers to challenge the vote if a Republican wins. I think Yogi Berra has a phrase for this. De jas Veau all over again.

[lodwick]

Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant "fix-me-up."

Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too
damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it
and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

---

Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You
might still have the headache, but who cares?

---

Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips

Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying your ass on the couch, with your
feet up anyway.

---

Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the potatoes.

Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry
about the potatoes growing arms and legs.

---

Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit
of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the
inside of the cake.

Real Women - Go to the bakery -- they'll even decorate the sonofabitch for you.

---

Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites over shit, so I don't do it.

---

Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing
gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.

---

And finally the most important tip....

Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes
for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women - Leftover wine??

---

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

[daisyscarlett]

LOL...

Thanks for the Dennis Miller rant.

We came home to three messages on our answering maching.

1. Al Gore, urging us to vote no on recall and yes on Bustamante...he reminded us that Bustamante is under the "B". He sounded very feminine and warned us of the extreme right wing trying to grab hold of the governoship.

2. Sharon Davis called and asked us to vote no so that her husband can continue on as governor.

3. Babs Streisand herself called...She was really loud and angry, telling us we must vote NO on RECALL and reminded us that Davis is ProChoice....

[lodwick]

You guys have GOT to get out of there, before God makes it slide off into the ocean.

Cheers, DS.

[Iowa Granny]

I was going to craft a snappy reply to your post,,, but I have to hurry to the kitchen to brush egg whites on my pie crust.

[mountaineer]

BARF alert:

.... That yearning for a saviour is captured by Jonathan Chait of The New Republic, a magazine normally so sedate it could be used to treat insomnia. "I hate President George W. Bush," Chait fumes. "I hate the way he walks - shoulders flexed, elbows splayed out from his sides like a teenage boy feigning machismo. I hate the way he talks - blustery self-assurance masked by a pseudo-populist twang."

That visceral loathing is also the greatest factor in Clark's favour. Forget the fudging, party loyalists tell each other, Clark can win.

Can Clark keep riding the wave, especially given frontrunner Howard Dean's pugnacity and fervent, grassroots support? On Wednesday, Dean's operatives had a grand time pointing out that the ex-general remains an independent, not yet a re-registered Democrat.

"This has been a whirlwind two weeks. There are a lot of things we have to do," explained spokesman Mark Fabiani, who got Bill Clinton out of the Monica mess, and after that, helped Hillary win New York.

Ah, New York. In any other presidential year it would be one of the least interesting battlegrounds. In terms of votes, it still is; the Empire State almost always goes Democrat.

What makes New York such a source of potential upsets are the players that could be dominating the local stage. Bush will be there, of course, thanks to Rove's brainstorm to take the convention into the heart of enemy territory.

And his opponent? Well it could be Clark, if he hasn't self-destructed. Or it might be Dean, if he survives the newcomer's assault and the animosity of his party's establishment.

Or it might be someone else. Someone whom 44 per cent of the national electorate favours. Someone who, if another Democrat were to win next year, might be just a bit too old to challenge in far-off 2012.

Someone, in other words, called Hillary Clinton.

Full story: http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/10/04/1064988456093.html

Why do those *@$# Australians love the Clintons so?

[lodwick]

Indeed, why does anyone?

We here will NEVER understand it, and I guess, that we'll just have to deal with it.

clintoon/clark - '04

And please no one, with all the computerized voting machines, be shocked or even midly surprised if they win.