Replies

The usual, Joe. Here is one that should bring a smile:

A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a
quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The
dad realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking,
shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business
suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading her newspaper and
sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up,
puts her coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper and
places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way,
unhurried, across the market.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles
and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After
a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter,
which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, the
woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the
coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects,
the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying,
"I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic.
Are you a doctor?"

"No," the woman replies..."Divorce Attorney."

Pretty good but try this one on for size.

Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. One guy said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the Irishman and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot."
"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."
Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a faggot and he didn't care!"

"You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn." The second Englishman walked over and tapped the Irishman on the shoulder.
"I hear your St.Patrick was a transvestite faggot!"
"Oh, wow, I didn't know that, thank you."
Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies.
"You're right,he is unshakable!"

The third Englishman said "No, no, no, I will really piss him off, you just watch."
The Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said...
"I hear your St. Patrick was an Englishman!"

"Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."