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Just in time for a funny.

Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty in Golf but Aren't:

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
7. Look at the size of his putter
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired .
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.

So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."
"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.
"I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"
So the next day he had the county workers went out and erected a sign that said:

SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster."
So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign:

SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?"
The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to let the Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling everyday to complain.

The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John. Three weeks later, curiosity go the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call.
"How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"
"Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy."
He hung up the phone.
The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign... it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers."

So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood:

Nudist Colony: Go slow for the chicks!

Now that Uday & Qusay have been eliminated , a lot of the lesser-known family members are coming to the attention of American authorities.

Among the brothers:

Sooflay ..................the restauranteur

Guday................... the half-Australian brother

Huray.................... the sports fanatic

Bejay......................the gay brother

Kuntay & Kintay.....the twins from the African mother

Sayhay....................the baseball player

Ojay........................the stalker / murderer

Gulay......................the singer / entertainer

Ebay.......................the internet czar

Biliray......................the country music star

Ecksray...................the radiologist

Puray.......................the blender factory owner

Regay......................the half-Jamaican brother

Tupay......................the one with bad hair.

Among the sisters:

Pusay.......................the 'loose' 22 yr old

Lattay........................the coffee shop owner

Bufay.........................the 300 pound sister

Dushay......................the clean sister

Phayray.....................the zoo worker in the gorilla house

Sapheway..................the grocery store owner

Ollay..........................the half-mexican sister

Gudlay........................the prostitute

More will no doubt be discovered.