[Just another Joe]

This weeks tobacco related threads.

Toledo bar owners jeer smoking ban
Universal Leaf plans grand opening [1000+ jobs - Nash County, NC]
UN Envoys Fume Over New York Smoking Ban
Feds will put confiscated cigarettes back on market
Flawed road to smoking ban vote
McDonald's obesity lawsuit thrown out

[Just another Joe]

The Lounge is open!

[Don W]

Well, the last 2 weeks, the lounge hasn't opened until after I have to leave for work, and I don't have a 'puter there (it's kinda hard to keep machinery running while sitting at a desk, ya know).

A cuppa mud (extra strong) and a 25 pack of Player's, please.

[SeaDragon]

Morning Joe, good to see you.

It is still a little early for me but the last two weeks have been the pits so line 'em up and lets rock...

[Eastbound]

Hi, Joe. Present, thirsty, and accounted for. Just a simple six-pack will do. Thanks.

[itzmygun]

My brother teaches 7th grade English. Every once in a while he will send me some funny excerpts from journals, quizzes, and other assignments done by his students (of course I guess this could also be seen as sort of sad - haha):

*****

Creative Writing

· I would not eat or kill animals unless it was an ant or something, but I wouldn't eat the ants.

· Hunting is a fun way to spend an afternoon. You get to walk through the woods and see animals. Then you get to kill them.

· Vampire bats drink blood everyday. They can consume the amount of blood equal to the amount of 25 cows.

· Giraffes are the only animal that needs 5 minutes of sleep in a 24 hour period. This is because their neck is so long.

· If I couldn't read, I'd die or explode, whichever came first.

· If I couldn't read, I would not like it because it would be hard to have a job. You would not know how to write. And then you would die.

· Manicotti is very easy to make, almost "goof proof" First get some ricotta cheese and manicotti noodles. Then, boil the noodles. I forget the rest, but they taste good when they're done.

· After breakfast, we went to San Francisco, home of Rice-A-Roni.

· How do stoplights work? I always thought there was a little man in the stoplight and he told the cars when to stop and go. I would like to have the stoplight job.

· I'm going to be a doctor at WVU and being a pediatrician because kids always laugh at me. I mean little kids.

· What if I were ruler of the world? It would be OK because I could get anything I wanted. But I would have guards around me all the time and I have no privates.

· I wouldn't care if I had to live with aliens as long as they didn't give me some kind of slime to eat.

Definitions -

bedlam- A bed.

cowling- A baby cow.

squadron- A bird with no feathers.

vital- Organs that you can't live without.

compensation- When you compare something with something.

water moccasin- A waterproof Indian shoe.

writhe- A Spanish tree in some rich guys house.

instinct- Something that is done without you doing it.

lather- Foam and rabies.

scrutinize- Lie, cheat, steal, or kill in the big house.

climax- The climax is very similar when they say that the climax is cool today.

[Lazamataz]

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