Pity Madonna, career on the slide, betrayed by a kiss

The Telegraph (U.K.) ^ | 08/30/03 | Sam Leith

[Pokey78]

The utterly contrived, lingering kisses with which Madonna chose to draw the cameras at the MTV Awards show that she is desperate to revive our waning interest, writes Sam Leith

These were smackers smacking of desperation. What was Madonna's last single? No, I can't remember either.

Did you see her film? No. Best not. Do you give a monkey's about her love of English tweeds and her conversion to clay-pigeon shooting? Do you hell.

	Britney and Madonna kiss for the cameras as Christina looks on

The problem is, we have lost interest in Madonna. But Madonna has not lost interest in our interest. Hence the lingering, sexy, utterly contrived kisses with which she chose to draw the cameras at the MTV Awards.

We can assume safely that this was pre-arranged. Madonna is too fly by far to risk, in front of an audience of millions, having the younger, prettier Britney Spears grab her by the shoulders and push her away.

The question is, however, whether both Britney and Christina Aguilera knew that she had come to an arrangement with the other one. My money is on not.

The headlines that this gap-toothed, career-on-the-slide, ageing pop legend had in mind will have been "Madonna in sexy snogfest", not "Madonna anoints chosen successor - and it's Britney!"

In snogging them both, she confuses matters. Britney and Christina, when they were on the way up seven or eight years ago, were rivals.

Now they have both been superseded by Beyonce Knowles. So they are vulnerable to getting involved in this sort of silliness - but too foolish to hold out for exclusivity. Madonna got her headlines.

I worry for her, however. Seldom is the contrived public snog a prelude to good times. Remember Piers Merchant? The unappealing Tory MP, caught bang to rights, attempted to brazen it out by allowing himself to be photographed apparently fishing a bit of food out of Mrs Merchant's dentures with his tongue.

He was swept from office on a tidal wave of public disgust.

A couple of years ago, the comedienne Caroline Aherne went through a phase of being photographed snogging woman friends in nightclubs. There was great tabloid excitement. Rehab and My Booze Hell followed.

Lord Archer's attempt to kiss his wife on his release from jail, she not apparently being in on the plan, was far more humiliating than it would have been had he simply shaken her by the hand.

So pity Madonna, betrayed by a kiss.

[freebilly]

"Hmmm..., I could use a lube job...."

Have you tried that new kind that warms on contact?

On my vehicle, or on my drive shaft...?

[Gone_Postal]

I've said it before, I'll say it again...ignore that old whore and she'll fade away like a bad fart.

I dono Hillary still is around and stinks just the same

[Wondervixen]

Whoredonna may have excited a bunch of 13-16 year old boys who don't know better than to listen to their hormones, and she may have warmed up adult perverts who aren't turned off by 45-something, gap-toothed, STD carrying skanks, but I'm failing to see how her kissing two ditzy "on the slide" bimbettes is going to resurrect any past glory.

Any idea that she might be doing something cool and chic to the Britney/Christina MTV demographic, however, can be laughed off since she's so dangerously close to being known to them as GRANDMadonna. Let's just hope she hasn't started a new acceptance for open displays of lesbian/gay affection in public.

[glory]

Let's suffice to say, I don't think he was in on it. He looked uncomfortable.

[Poohbah]

Didn't have a smiley face.

[DanTheAdmin]

LOL! You figure it out...

[MegaSilver]

When you enter in a google search for "Women having sex with flaming goats," you will get 2,387,192 hits unless you specify the exact breed of the goats.

Hmm... *checks*

Nope, only 1600.

[MegaSilver]

Years ago Madonna pursued Sharon Stone. Madonna thought Stone was hot, and tried to make arrangements to meet her, and said in the press that she wanted to kiss her. Stone was not at all interested and actually turned down Madonna.

I think it's pretty certain that she did that for publicity...

[freebilly]

she may have warmed up adult perverts who aren't turned off by 45-something, gap-toothed, STD carrying skanks....

You've plagiarized her press release!

[LibKill]

You forgot the 'black capsule'.

(Suicide pill, (AKA as 'last friend').

[Reaganwuzthebest]

So all those spam mails I keep getting that said Britney is a lesbian must be true then. Ah well, as we used to say... what a waste.

[FITZ]

Crazier than Cher or Babs...

More desperate. Babs definitely has a singing voice and talent. Cher is a better entertainer than Madonna or Britney. Madonna is a has-been trying very very hard to be noticed again. With her mediocre talent, she should just be glad she ever was famous.

[freekitty]

Madonna keeps pushing that envelope because she can.

I think people are getting tired of her because she can't seem to do anything else but slime and that gets old. She's been on the same tired shock trip way to long. Sooner or later, I hope those celebs will figure out being sleazy, if anything, makes you look very unattractive.

[RaceBannon]

If a 45 year old man kissed Brittny like that, they would call him a cradle robber or a pervert, while his friends would be jealous of a younger and prettier girl liking him.

Yet, this lesbian kiss, where is the outrage over cradle robbing?

Where is the lesbian outrage?

Where is the normal world outrage?

I had to hear of it from Drudge, and my local newspaper, the Hartford Courant printed a full shot, 1/2 page size of this kiss in the front section, tongues quite visible between the lips.

This is disgusting.

[Dan from Michigan]

3 hasbeens.

[Earl]

Anyone hear Dennis Miller fill in for Sean Hannity today?
Talking about the kiss, he said something to the effect that it would have been sexier if Madonna wouldn't have pulled out her dentures before they kissed.

[freebilly]

You forgot the 'black capsule'.

(Suicide pill, (AKA as 'last friend').

You mean homicide pill....

[freebilly]

Ain' nuffin like luvin' fum a toofless gurl....

[the tongue]

I don't care what anyone says, Britney Spears is THE hottest chick on the planet....not even a debate.

[Rainmist]

" The biggest sign that it was preplanned was the reaction shot of Justin Timberlake ".


I imagine he knew what was coming .... the first shot of Justin during the performance was funny, he raised his eyebrow. So I'm sure that he knew. I watched his winning video for the first time the other day, and I know it's just a video, but the pain in his eyes and face was obvious. My daughter ( 14 ) adores Justin, we've seen him with NSYNC and this past July, solo in Atlanta. I was surprised at the age of the girls there ..... most all of them were between 20 and 50 years old and dressed to the nines. I kid you not !!! One woman I swear had to be late 40's and she was wearing a blue leather jumpsuit. I felt way underdressed in my jeans and t-shirt.