Pity Madonna, career on the slide, betrayed by a kiss

The Telegraph (U.K.) ^ | 08/30/03 | Sam Leith

[Pokey78]

The utterly contrived, lingering kisses with which Madonna chose to draw the cameras at the MTV Awards show that she is desperate to revive our waning interest, writes Sam Leith

These were smackers smacking of desperation. What was Madonna's last single? No, I can't remember either.

Did you see her film? No. Best not. Do you give a monkey's about her love of English tweeds and her conversion to clay-pigeon shooting? Do you hell.

	Britney and Madonna kiss for the cameras as Christina looks on

The problem is, we have lost interest in Madonna. But Madonna has not lost interest in our interest. Hence the lingering, sexy, utterly contrived kisses with which she chose to draw the cameras at the MTV Awards.

We can assume safely that this was pre-arranged. Madonna is too fly by far to risk, in front of an audience of millions, having the younger, prettier Britney Spears grab her by the shoulders and push her away.

The question is, however, whether both Britney and Christina Aguilera knew that she had come to an arrangement with the other one. My money is on not.

The headlines that this gap-toothed, career-on-the-slide, ageing pop legend had in mind will have been "Madonna in sexy snogfest", not "Madonna anoints chosen successor - and it's Britney!"

In snogging them both, she confuses matters. Britney and Christina, when they were on the way up seven or eight years ago, were rivals.

Now they have both been superseded by Beyonce Knowles. So they are vulnerable to getting involved in this sort of silliness - but too foolish to hold out for exclusivity. Madonna got her headlines.

I worry for her, however. Seldom is the contrived public snog a prelude to good times. Remember Piers Merchant? The unappealing Tory MP, caught bang to rights, attempted to brazen it out by allowing himself to be photographed apparently fishing a bit of food out of Mrs Merchant's dentures with his tongue.

He was swept from office on a tidal wave of public disgust.

A couple of years ago, the comedienne Caroline Aherne went through a phase of being photographed snogging woman friends in nightclubs. There was great tabloid excitement. Rehab and My Booze Hell followed.

Lord Archer's attempt to kiss his wife on his release from jail, she not apparently being in on the plan, was far more humiliating than it would have been had he simply shaken her by the hand.

So pity Madonna, betrayed by a kiss.

[dc27]

I heard about the kiss two days before the VMA. It was very much planned.

[jonsie]

"Lord Archer's attempt to kiss his wife on his release from jail, she not apparently being in on the plan, was far more humiliating than it would have been had he simply shaken her by the hand".

Even when she was aware of the kiss, It backfired on Mr. Gore.

[FlyVet]

I still remember the chill I got the first time I saw the list of channels in IRC. Who thought there were enough (fill in the blank) freaks to fill a chat room?

Yikes. I remember that too. Didn't know IRC was still around. I ran across one called "Motherdaughtersex". I'm surpised that was even allowed to exist.

[freebilly]

Surely, you jest! ;-)

I'm series! I'm just thankful that I was able to spend time with her when she was still nearly like a virgin... ;^)

[freebilly]

"My mommy kisses strange women for money"

She must be Episcopalian....

[RippleFire]

[anncoulteriscool]

Oh wow...Madonna kissed a girl...shockeroo!!!...in other news: Its raining in Pittsburgh.

[DanTheAdmin]

"LOL! Her kootchie has the same slogan as McDonald's.
Yes..., but does she have a drive-through...?"

You probably could...

[DanTheAdmin]

"Indeed. I'm older than 'madonna' and I wouldn't touch her with a fork."

Yea, I wouldn't fork her either...

[freebilly]

"Yes..., but does she have a drive-through...?"

You probably could...

Hmmm..., I could use a lube job....

[DanTheAdmin]

"Hmmm..., I could use a lube job...."

Have you tried that new kind that warms on contact?

[glory]

You know, I just have to laugh. I tell you why, because a 46 yr old married mother of two living an exclusive life in London looks utterly ridiculous engaging in such behavior, "star" or not. She is a laughing stock and it was less disgusting than it was embarressing that a mature woman would behave like an attention-grabbing college girl on spring break and at least the college girl can "excuse" her indiscretion by saying she was drunk. I'm not surprised by the two younger ones...they are naive and stupid and about the age that college kids do idiotic stuff on campus, but Madonna..I don't care what her reputation before, this behavior now is just embarrassing. I felt bad for her that she thought this was somehow shocking or cool. I'm sure this will really launch her new career as a children's book writer(sarcasm off). Perhaps she should try something we would not expect from her to shock us--conservatism and being a good mother and wife with morals would be a really shocking start.

[DanTheAdmin]

"Hmmm..., I could use a lube job...."

Have you tried that new kind that warms on contact?

[DanTheAdmin]

I hate multiple posts!!!

[Atticus]

[VermiciousKnid]

OK, I'll bite.

What was his reaction?

[DanTheAdmin]

EEEEWWWWWWWW!

[glory]

She seems anymore like a once-brilliant sportsman who is trying so hard to salvage a career once his knees or shoulders are shot. Except in this case, a woman her age should know better; the difference between right and wrong shouldn't be that muddled in the mind of a 40-something adult.
_____________

Exactly! And it's precisely the reason I felt embarrassed for her.

[MegaSilver]

She seems anymore like a once-brilliant sportsman who is trying so hard to salvage a career once his knees or shoulders are shot. Except in this case, a woman her age should know better; the difference between right and wrong shouldn't be that muddled in the mind of a 40-something adult.

I know what our Coulter would say to that: "Well, she IS a liberal, isn't she?"

[floriduh voter]

Shep Smith panned the MTV awards tonight. He called Beyonce Knowles. "Bouncy". Shep is so slick the way he slips things in. Sometimes his quips are too fast to catch.