Posted on 08/14/2003 12:43:34 PM PDT by cuz_it_aint_their_money

Well ping-ees, its that time again!
Mark Burnett Productions has once again permitted 16 media whores to ply their trade just to bring us a few hours of blissful enjoyment. So without further ado, here is what your intrepid Captain Cuz has come up with so far.
During the final show of Survivor 6: The Amazon, Jeff Probst provided the following voice over for the first Survivor 7: Pearl Island Promo:
This Fall, 16 new Survivors journey off the coast of Panama, to a land steeped in a bloody history of piracy.
A hidden chain of more than a hundred tropical islands, located in the blue-green waters of Central America. These are the PEARL ISLANDS. It is a place of ancient riches, with a turbulent history of looting and plundering. The ruins of Spanish forts and sunken ships are monuments to a violent and infamous past, where the deeds of pirates like Drake and Morgan are legendary.
In these Panamanian waters lurk some of the most exotic and dangerous marine animals anywhere in the Pacific Ocean. Schools of sharks, sting rays, dolphins and sea turtles thrive in a spectacular world beneath the sea.
And our Survivors will begin their adventure during the migration of the humpback whale. For the first time, each tribe will have its own island and the marooning will be unlike anything experienced by the previous Survivors.
Who will outwit, outplay and outlast all the others to become the sole Survivor? Find out this Fall as the adventure continues in the Pearl Islands.
Well, you just knew that with all the Survivor Junkies out there in Webland, it wouldnt be long before someone came up with some pictures about the Pearl Islands, and here are a few I have selected from the many out there in cyberspace: Photos courtesy of claycritters.com

Tribal Council view from right rear
Tribal Council from left side.
Close up of Tribal Council. Stairs under construction leading from the beach to the fort.
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Here is a brief History of the Pearl Islands (an excerpt from SurvivorFever.net)
These islands have a long history as they were the first islands to be explored by Spanish Conquistadors. In fact the most famous conquistador and the person who gave the Pacific Ocean its name, Balboa, lived on these islands after having crossed the Panamanian Isthmus. He chose the islands because the weather was cooler and the mosquitoes non-existent.
After Balboa left, the islands were a center for pearl divers and the greatest of pearls, La Peregrina was found off their shores.
La Peregrina was given to Queen Mary Tudor by Philip the II of Spain in 1554; later the pearl ended up in the hands of Napoleon the III and today Elizabeth Taylor has the pearl in her possession. Richard Burton gave it to her as a Valentine's Day gift in 1969. Who knows maybe there are more such pearls to be found? In the 20th century the Pearl islands, especially Contadora were developed into vacation spots for Latin Americans and Europeans.
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Well intrepid ping-ees, thats just about all Captain Cuz has for now.
The show will debut Thursday, September 18th, 2003 at 8 PM EDT.
And hopefully, the official Survivor Website will list the contestants sometime next week.
If so, Ill be back next Thursday with the bios of the players.
Until then, feel free to post your own spoilers!
And remember, dont take any wooden doubloons! Har Har Har!

P.S. Remember to Freepmail me if you want on or off the Survivor Ping List.
They'll never boot Jon off. Because they hate me.
It'll most likely be Burton. Because they hate me.
You can say want you want about Burton, but he is a smart, talented, conservative, (honorary) Texan.
And eight different kinds of good-looking.



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The Pirates Balboa:
Burton, Darrah, Jon, Lillian, Sandra
The Jury
Ryan O., Rupert, Tijuana, Christa
Gone t Davy Jones Locker:
Andrew, Michelle, Nicole, Ryan S., Shawn, Trish
Quit in disgrace!Osten
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Heave to ya swabbies! Shiver me timbers n strike the mainsail. Its time for:
Morning breaks, Burton tries to fill Ruperts skirt and goes fishing while Christa and Sandra conspire amongst themselves. Now were screwed, Sandra tells Christa. DUH! Havent you learned by now that you cant trust Jonny Jackass? Then, in a precognitive moment, Christa admits that she doesnt know if she could ever believe Jon. I half expected her to slap her forehead as if to say Damn, I coulda had a V8!
More whispering, and secret meetings take place that morning as Burton brings home the bacon, err, Stingray! Typically, Jonny Jackass even manages to rain on Burtons parade by announcing that they have SEA Mail just as Burton is showing the gals what he has caught for breakfast. Burton starts cleaning the mornings catch while Jon reads the clue. The challenge is a water challenge which leads Sandra to prophesies Whenever I hear wet and water, thats awful for me. Yep, now that Ostens out of the picture, Sandra has become the swims-like-a-rock player of the bunch.
The players meet Jeff as he describes the Reward challenge. Three-person teams, water obstacle course, involves swimming, knot untying, raising sunken barrels, dragging a heavy boat into the water and paddling the boat back to the starting line. The first team to do this wins reward. An overnight stay at a spa, complete with massage, a dinner of whatever theyd like off the menu, a good nights sleep in a real bed, a scrumptious breakfast, etc.etc.etc. Oh, and by the way, one more thing. Theyll get their own swimwear: The first clothes youve seen from those suitcases you left behind thirty-one days ago. Jeff announces.
After drawing lots to determine the teams, its Darrah, Lillian and Jon against Sandra, Christa and Burton. Jeff says go and Sandra almost knocks herself out by falling off the first floating platform. Things are uphill from there on for the Sandra, Christa, Burton team as Darrah, Lillian and Jon easily win the challenge. Jeff gives them their swimwear, as the trio is taken away to their reward.
At the spa, the three are treated to massages and facials. Although the image of Jonny Jackass with green goop on his face makes one think that he really belongs on the show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy! And not as the Straight Guy!
Back at camp, Sandra demands a commitment from Burton. Jon said if we save you that Darrah and Lil will go.
Burton hesitates to commit since he hasnt had a chance to receive his marching orders from Jonny Jackass. Both Sandra and Christa see this as a real eye-opener, and comments that at this point its every man for themselves.
At the spa, the troublesome trio, slip into silk pajamas and proceed to dinner, where Jon actually acts civilized (Yeah, I know, its a stretch, but he really was a gentlemen. At dinner anyway!) and orders for the ladies. Of course he later had to ruin the illusion by commenting that he was a great date, and much more than just a pretty face.
Then to top off an otherwise perfect evening, he goes and insults Lillian by talking down to her so she marches off to bed leaving Jon and Darrah to watch a rainy evening sky. Back at camp, the wheeling and dealing is still going on, with Sandra and Christa trying to peg down Burton. Finally, after getting a half hearted commitment from Christa to his question regarding whether or not she would vote against Sandra, Burton promises Christa a spot in the final four, saying Ill do what I can to get you there.
At the hotel spa, after breakfast is served Jon plots with Darrah and proposes that they be the final two. Knowing that Jon is a lying snake, but believing that even a snake has to tell the truth sometimes, she agrees. The reward ends and the troublesome trio is returned to Camp Balboa. Jon brags about the reward while Lillian tries to play it down.
Jon and Burton leave to talk strategy. Jonny Jackass gives Burton his marching orders saying that Christa is the next to go. Burton, having promised Christa that he would Do what he could to get her into the final four, is hesitant. Jon tells him You cant be nice in this game. Burton tells us that hes trying to be the good cop, leaving the bad cop role to Jon. That way, Burton could be more popular than Jon in the final. See! Burton is smarter than he looks!
The Immunity Challenge involves the players firing traditional pirate muskets (Blunderbusses) that have been modified to shoot flares. The targets are cloth flags. Each player has three such flags. The first player to torch all three flags wins immunity.
To make a very short Immunity Challenge even shorter, Dead Eye-Darrah wins Immunity again, while Christa whines all the way back to camp.
At Tribal Council, Jeff asks his typical banal questions about who trusts who, and who is the biggest liar here? Yada, Yada, Yada. Finally asking the six if they trust their relationships. After all six say yes, Jeff comments You all trust your relationships?! This is going to be interesting.
Then he calls for the vote. Lillian receives 2 votes. Christa receives four.
Bub-Bye Christa.
After she exits, Jeff comments that there are five very clearly skilled liars remaining. And they can head back to camp.
Ill be back later in t week with me picks, so til then:
Keep yer powder dry,
yer cutlass razor sharp
and dont take any wooden doubloons!
Har Har Har!

P.S. Remember to Freepmail me if you want on or off the Survivor Ping List.
You're not gonna watch the All-Stars, then? The All-Stars will be "it" for me.
Hey, you don't get that much information from the "fave" list. Nobody really knows how anyone votes anyway. 'Sides, he could Freep, you never know! Closest we've had to a Freeper in Survivor so far is Paschal from Survivor 4:Marquesas. He's a Freeper widower (LOL!).
Who knows. Who cares. He's pretty. :-)
I am bad, I am soo bad...
Maybe, I'll hang in there and see the All Stars, and stupid Trista's big show with Ryan and if Amazing Race comes back on, I'll watch.
I don't know who Trista and Ryan are, and I never watched BB past the green-hair chick. I do Survivor, Amazing Race, and American Idol. That's about all the reality I can take.
What "Survivor" sites do you read? I'm sure there was a rumor (every guy gets that stuck on him at survivorsucks.com, even Jeff Probst!) -- him being single and from "Than Franthithco" doesn't help. He seemed to really like Michelle, though.
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