Another Senseless Stripper-related Accident (My Title)

The Smoking Gun ^ | July 30, 2003

[Wolfie]

JULY 30--Just when you think you've seen all the dangers a strip club can offer, something new comes along. Early Saturday morning, David Buhler, 23, and a buddy visited The School House, a southern Michigan topless club, where the guys repaired to a couch to enjoy some adult entertainment. There they were approached by Kasey Ann Colvin, a 20-year-old stripper who hovered over Buhler and asked, "Do you want some of this?" According to the below Jackson Police Department report, Colvin, who had recently given birth, then shot something "out of her breast in a white milky form striking Buhler in the face going into his eyes and by his nose." Believing he'd been slimed with mother's milk, Buhler became angry and contacted the club manager, who apologized and offered him free soft drinks and lap dances. Buhler declined the freebies and contacted the cops to file an aggravated assault complaint. One of the club's owners told officers that the lactating lap dancer acknowledged that she "had started to leak a little bit, possibly maybe drizzling" her milk on Buhler. Police plan to forward their report to local prosecutors, who will decide whether to formally charge Colvin, who has yet to be interviewed by cops. (3 pages)

Click for police report.

[Chancellor Palpatine]

Both hands on the keyboard, now.

[proust]

It won't be til men stop thinking about what women look like naked that we truly have equality.

Well, if women are gonna have the nerve to grow those things that stick right out of their chests, guys are gonna stare at them. Why do you think your namesake is popular? It ain't because of big firearms.

[Mind-numbed Robot]

It won't be til men stop thinking about what women look like naked that we truly have equality.

That's the ticket. Castrate all the men! Eunuchs for all. We'll all be liberals then.

[Kieri]

Awww, cut Jackson some slack! The ONLY reason this stupid strip club is here at all is because the city had two choices: 1) they could battle it out in court, lose the suit and get stuck with the place permanently, or 2) accept the situation and force them out of town in 15 months. Its only a matter of time before the boobs are outta here!

[jlogajan]

Some guys just don't like to get in on their face -- not to mention in their hair.

[Drew68]

Actually, in Michigan, if the strip club is all nudes, then alcohol is prohibited. It it's just topless, then alcohol is allowed.

Same with Colorado.

At the topless bars, the dancers have to wear two g-strings --presumably if one should slip.

[LiberationIT]

Reports are David Buhler asked "got any Windmill Cookies?"

[Drew68]

unless of course it really is Angelina Jolie aka Lara Croft.

The real Lara Croft (the one Eidos used as a model) is an english actress named Rhona Mitra.

You may have seen her as Berlin in "The Life of David Gale" or Tabatha Wadmore-Smith in "Sweet Home Alabama".

Just giving credit where credit is due.

[Pearls Before Swine]

"the lactating lap dancer"

Now there's a nice turn of phrase. Try repeating it--it just rolls easily off the tongue.

[AdA$tra]

Judging by some of the stuff I have seen on the computers I work on, she should be in demand.

[Drew68]

Judging by some of the stuff I have seen on the computers I work on

Nice save. ;-)

[Charles Henrickson]

Guy's not a member of La Lecher League, apparently.

[Charles Henrickson]

Who leaked this story anyways?

[biblewonk]

It won't be til men stop thinking about what women look like naked that we truly have equality.

You will never ever have true equality.

[Wolfie]

Just dribbled out somehow.

[bdeaner]

It won't be until men stop thinking about what women look like naked that we truly have equality.

Are you serious? If that's the case, then equality is never going to happen, unless men are chemically (or otherwise) castrated by a government mandate. There's only so much one can do to manage biological drives. Try to stop thinking about a nice juicy cheeseburger the next time you drive by a Wendy's. You can avoid eating the cheeseburger, but not the thought about eating the cheeseburger. Not to imply that women are like cheeseburgers . . . this is just an analogous biological urge that conjures mental images. Just because men think about women naked, of course, doesn't mean it's okay to exploit women at strip clubs.

[Snardius]

She's in trouble only because she failed to offer him OREOS!!

[bdeaner]

Actually, in Michigan, if the strip club is all nudes, then alcohol is prohibited. It it's just topless, then alcohol is allowed.

What is the logic here? Are they afraid a pubic hair might fall in the beer?

[Wolfie]

I think the idea was that if men couldn't buy beer they wouldn't go. Grossly underestimating the male desire to see nekkid wimmen, of course.

[ErnBatavia]

"...And a titter ran through the crowd"