Excellent graphic!!
Like my good ole' uncle used to say, "Boy, It'll put hair on 'yer chest."
Excellent graphic!!
Seems to work for her.
Then I was taken back out to the police car and given another joyride that ended at the downtown jail. The male cop went inside while the female officer stayed in the cruiser with me.
“She looks good for a cop,” said tequila. “Ask her out.”
“Shut up.”
“Think about it,” continued tequila. “The historic pick-up. The one to brag to friends about. To score with the cop who arrested you for DUI. You’ll be a legend!”
 Good Grief! |
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain.
No real feeling of illness.
You're able to function relatively well.
However, you are still parched.
You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way.
For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.
Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss.
You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun.
The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House exursion.
There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache.
Stomach feels crappy.
You are definitely not productive.
Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink.
Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns.
You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a Diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.
Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks.
Your head is throbbing.
You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke.
Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze.
You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the Bumper cars.)
Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts.
Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm.
Five Star Hangover, (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube.
Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.
You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from Brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out.
Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you.
You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning.
Death sounds pretty good about right now....
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK :
Indubitably,Innovative,Preliminary,Proliferation,Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity,British Constitution,Passive-aggressive disorder,Loquacious, Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'REDRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
Nope, no more booze for me
Sorry, but you're not really my type
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing