Getting Rid of Gophers

self

[Oorang]

Does anyone know of a sure fire way to get rid of gophers? We have tried poison, flooding and road flares. Tried the "vibration" method with a third horse motor, vibrates the ground 20 feet away, didn't work. Now have 120 volt ac wires connected to two steel stakes spanning the trouble area. Shotgun is out of the question since the gopher is burrowing right by some water lines.

Short of searching out Bill Murray, any suggestions? Thanks all.

[VRWCmember]

Call Carl Spackler!

Anybody home? Hello Mr. Gopher

I smell Varmint poontang

[Zavien Doombringer]

Right behind you!

[Zavien Doombringer]

[Oorang]

Thanks. My husband has been looking for that photo.

[Zavien Doombringer]

Happy to ablige...have you considered borrowing someones cat?

[Oorang]

Hmmm. Time to get a cat. Neighbors have horses, goats, dogs, llamas. What I would really like is a small, underground MOAB. That would fix the little ^#&%.

[dd5339]

Sitting on the back deck with a Ruger 77/22 22 caliber rifle might take care of the problem!

Semper Fi

[Corin Stormhands]

Send 'em to Congress.

[Abe Froman]

My dad is the incarnation of Carl Spackler......he once set himself on fire trying to kill gophers under our front step. He ended up with second-degree burns on his inner thighs.

[Michael Barnes]

Send a ferret down the holes?

[Oorang]

Thanks. I suggested we try everything from a 12 gauge to a .50 cal, but the gopher is mainly around water lines.

[Oorang]

My Oorang Airedale already tried digging his way into one of the holes, got stuck, and we had to pull him out.

I suppose we could try and start a ferret - gopher war. We could call it the War of Ferret Aggression.

[Oorang]

Sorry to hear about your Dad flaming himself. Did he ever have any luck flaming the gopher?

[Abe Froman]

Well he learned his lesson from that one (don't pour gas down a hole when you're not sure if the gas you already poured down the hole and lighted is all burned out yet) and eventually he found these little gopher traps (spring-loaded traps that pierce the body of the gopher) that did the trick.

My dad has always been a bit cavalier when it comes to safety. He once fell off his extension ladder, breaking his leg, because he had it propped up on little pieces of wood to level it out on a sideways incline. LOL He also had me climb that ladder (2 stories) to hang christmas lights on our house when I was about 10 years old. He has a treaceotomy (or however you call it) for sleep apnea, and when I was younger, he wanted to duct-tape it shut so he could try out one of those motorized surfboards when we were on vacation. My mom wouldn't let him do it. :-P\

Oh, and he also spun his '79 t-bird out on a crowded freeway, clipping the guardrail, because he was driving too fast, lost control, and the tilt on his steering wheel was broken, so the wheel would suddenly ratchet down or up if you grabbed it a little too forcefully. The cop wouldn't let him drive it home, but once he got it there he still drove it a couple more years.

[Keith in Iowa]

Hey now! He was my congress-critter - and a darned good one! :)

[rontorr]

Bill Murray had the most effective way, but there is no good method. I tried lots of stuff, but the only way we got them out of the field was to flood irrigate, then they just went uphill, and came back a few weeks later

[rontorr]

Sitting on the back deck with a Ruger ......

10/22 with a night-vision scope, they only stick their heads up at night, if at all

[rontorr]

Your dad sounds like a typical Thai , especially when he is driving

[Corin Stormhands]

He was my congress-critter - and a darned good one! :)

I know. I was in D.C. when he first got there. Maybe it was an urban legend, but supposedly he fired on the spot a staffer that called him "Gopher."