[Lucas McCain]

I approached the large scale at the Publix grocery store to see how much I weighed. There was a woman already standing on the scale, with her husband standing nearby holding her purse. She was obviously disappointed when she looked at her weight and so she took off her shoes and held them in her hand, unable to understand why that didn't help. Her husband and I exchanged knowing glances as he told her he would explain it to her later.

[Adrastus]

A year or so ago I walked into the local Wal-Mart. It was about 9 or so and there weren't many people around. I heard the PA system come on and a very youngish nervous voice came over saying, "I have a customer by the balls in the sporting goods department and I need help from a member of management, please."

Laughter came from all over the store.