"Chat" CONSERVATIVE PARENTS (AND CONCERNED PARTIES)OF PARENTS OF "AT RISK" CHILDREN

This is a new thread dedicated to conservative parents of children/teens "at risk".

I noticed in my FReeping that there are a lot of other conservative parents like me dealing with children or teens that are socially "at risk". Yes, there are other web sites out there dedicated to this, however they tend to be liberally/socialistically slanted. They have a whinning "poor pitful me" attitude. As conservatives, from talking with many of you, we take a different attitude and require our children to have that same attitude.

I FReep Mailed Jim Robinson to get his "blessing" on this thread. If you are die-hard anti-medication or don't believe these issues we face are real, please move along and don't come in here to chastize us or blame us or condem us. We have enough to deal with on a daily basis.

The purpose of this thread is for conservative parents (and other concerned parties such as friends,relatives, caregivers, educators, etc.) to have a place to come and share resources, information, ideas, and vent frustrations about the daily life we live with these children. It is also to encourage each other, not coddle. I have found that conservatives have a "we will overcome" attitude in dealing with this. We need to help each other not get discouraged and maintain this attitide.

Please feel free to stay and chat even if you are just "interested" in the subject and have no real personal experience with it. But, again, if this is something you disagree with, please do not stay just to stir up trouble.

she does tell me almost everything, some things I still have to prod out of her. We had a little discussion about that tonight. I said, "since when have you NOT been able to come to me about things????"

Anyhow, I sometimes think kids forget we grew up once too, we didn't just start as adults!!! And heck, I was a teen in the 80's...the age of excess (according to the dems)...we did EVERYTHING in a big way, including getting into trouble.

I bet my parents are in heaven laughing!!!!

Yeah, I need that trip to a day spa for about a week!

I had a very awful evening tonight, and I wanted to get your input.

Tonight, I went to a skating party with my kids that their school put on. Well, my 6 year old twins both had melt downs. There was a raffle, and one of the girls didn't understand that she probably was not going to get the doll that she really wanted. The other one lost a quarter for candy, and I didn't have another one. So, they both lost it, and they were both stinkers about getting into the car. A police car drove by just and I threatened to call the police if they didn't get buckled. They did get buckled up.

Well, then a few miles down the road one of my charming daughters starts throwing her shoes at me, and then she threw a hard plastic cup holder at me. It hit me in the head, and it hurt. Not to mention, we could have easily crashed.

I immediately called my husband and told him to meet us at a nearby McDonalds parking lot, and asked him to handle my charming daughter. We pulled into the parking lot, and I had my daughter get out of the car and wait for her dad.

Well, she starts really wailing and screaming and pounding on the door of the car. I'm just in the car not saying a word.

Well, this car starts hunking at us. Then the man from the car and starts yelling at me telling me that I am mentally abusing my daughter. I explain that she was throwing things in the car, and that her dad is on the way.

He then wants my driver's license (I didn't give it to him). Then he takes down my license plate and says he's calling the sheriff for metally abusing my daughter. He sees my daughter in the car (who is calm), and he says I'm mentally abusing her.

Of course, when this guy comes over I let my daughter in the car, and she is shut up.

He leaves, and a few minutes later my husband shows up.

Needless to say, I'm a little upset. My neighbor told me that next time, I should leave the car and let my daughter have her meltdown inside the car. I think I'll do that.

Now, I'm all worried that child protective services is going to be calling me up.

I can't believe I'm getting accused of child abuse when I'm not hitting my child and I'm not yelling at my child. I'm just trying to ignore her tantrum.

Ah, yes, the intruding non parent types that just don't understand. I would have looked him square in the face and said "would you rather I beat the crap out of her to shut her up from her tantrum in the car which endangered all of us and others on the road?????"

Lucky, don't worry about it, if they call DCFS (or whatever it's called in your state) they will more than likely say "as long as the woman did not abandon her child she handled it fine" Let him call, maybe when they tell him that you didn't do anything wrong he won't interfer with another parent. Sometimes I just want to smack those kinds of people upside the head!!!! I'm sure they have no kids themselves and believe that if they do their children would never act like that.

They are also the same kinds of people that are still dellusioned in the fact that if you are *perfect parents* (oxymoron) that you will have *perfect children*....sometimes no matter how loving, patient and caring you are, your kids just turn out to be real sh*ts!!!!

In the years with my daughters I've learned to say "that's your opinion, feel free to call child services." It usually shuts them up.

You don't have to "own" his opinion and don't let his limited view of what was going on and his non-involved opinion drive you nuts. I have a good book for you You can't afford the luxury of a negative thought A great FReeper FRiend sent it to me.

Take a deep breath, it's no big deal...when your kids get to my kids age, they'll tell the next busy body "look, I'm being a sh*t, I deserve to be yelled at". That shuts them up too. :o)

You didn't give this guy any of your info did you? I hope not. He has no right to know anything about you and he can't make you tell him anything. If he wants to call the cops, let him and tell them he was harrassing you and press charges for harrassment if you have to. They can't charge you with mental abuse just because your child is throwing a tantrum in the car. The guy better be glad it wasn't me there waiting on my hubby. My hubby would've kicked his butt and landed himself in jail and the guy in the hospital for harrassing his wife. Of course, (not that I'm trying to say you should have done this, because i by far am NOT a perfect parent) throwing shoes at me while driving would land mine at home with a good spanking and then some time alone in the bedroom to think about it and calm down.

Thank you for the invitation. I will try to drop by from time to time. You are very kind.

If you read my profile, you know that unless it's after work hours, or I'm at my desk over the weekend, I have very limited time on FR. Sometimes I stay late at night---when I really shouldn't----in order to be able to post!

At first I thought this thread was a manic-depression/autism/depression thread, and wondered why I would be pinged to it. Then I saw references to ADD and ADHD.

If I tried to post my experiences, based upon my 21 years with my adorable son Michael and his ADHD, it would take me forever. The only way we got through his school years was by way of Ritalin, and I thank God every day for that medication. (By the way, 5 different specialists gave the same incontroverible ADD diagnosis. In no way was this child simply "medicated for the convenience of the teachers/parents.") Ritalin was a life-saver for him and for our family. He decided he didn't want to take it any more in about the 10th grade, and against my better judgment, I let him have his way. The last 3 years in high school were a severe struggle with some very close calls, behavior-wise. But he did manage to graduate, and now--3 years later--he is making all A's and one B in junior college, after a year just working to see wht he wanted to do with his life. He is now focused, motivated and determined. His career goal is to become---get this--a schoolteacher! He has a great and compassionate heart for children, and I have no doubt that he will be a great one. He recently revisited his old junior high school. One of his former teachers later told me, upon seeing Michael after 6 years, that he could not believe Michael's transformation. He said, "I remember when Michael was crazy and restless, and he came and saw me and was so
sure of himself. I didn't even believe it was him. It was such a encouragement. I have never seen a student change that much for the better." He was really impressed with Michael.

This is the result of A LOT of prayer on Michael's behalf, of God's grace, and of the tireless efforts of a family friend, an older, wiser man who took Michael under his wing and helped him over the rough spots, one-on-one. Without the combination of these 3, I believe Michael's life could easily have been a disaster. I am one of the most grateful parents alive today!

(By the way, 5 different specialists gave the same incontroverible ADD diagnosis. In no way was this child simply "medicated for the convenience of the teachers/parents.") Ritalin was a life-saver for him and for our family

Isn't it sad how we parents have to justify ourselves for choosing medication??? So many of us in this thread have been chastized for that, as IF we didn't explore all the optins and get 2nd, 3rd & 4th opinions.

God Bless you and your son! It gives me hope for my rambunxious and difficult 13yo daughter!

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.