The Guild 4-30-2003 Welcome home!

U.S. Army Ranger Sgt. Abe Martens carries an U.S. flag down the steps from a chartered commercial airplane Monday, April 28, 2003, at Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, Ga. after returning home from fighting in Iraq (news - web sites). Among other missions, members of 1st Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment participated in the rescue operation of Pfc. Jessica Lynch. (AP Photo/Stephen Morton)

The USS Abraham Lincoln aircraft carrier pulls into Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, Saturday, April 26, 2003, after a deployment of nearly 10 months. The Lincoln has a crew of approximately 5,500. It is en route to its home port at Everett, Wash., by way of San Diego. (AP Photo/Carol Cunningham)

A sailor smells a rose as the USS Paul Hamilton pulls into its home port of Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, Saturday, April 26, 2003, after a deployment of nearly 10 months. The destroyer has a crew of approximately 350 and is part of the seven-ship battle group led by the USS Abraham Lincoln. (AP Photo/Carol Cunningham)

Navy Chaplain Lt. Charles Crane meets his new daughter, Hannah, after the USS Abraham Lincoln aircraft carrier pulled into Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, Saturday, April 26, 2003. At left is Crane's other daughter, Sharon, 10. His wife, Mary Crane, is at right. The Lincoln is en route to its home port at Everett, Wash., by way of San Diego. (AP Photo/Carol Cunningham)

Capt. Will Weinig, 26, hugs his girlfriend, Mary Katherine Jones, 22, far right, as two other couples hug during a small welcome home ceremony for the 3rd Battalion 75th Ranger Regiment Friday, April 25, 2003, at a hangar at Lawson Airfield located on Fort Benning, Ga. About 100 Army Rangers returned from duty in Iraq (news - web sites) and were welcomed by family, friends and loved ones. (AP Photo/Columbus Ledger-Enquirer, G. Marc Benavidez)

Petty Officer Michael Durel of the San Diego-based guided missile cruisers USS Mobile Bay hugs his 4-year-old daughter Lucy and sister Leigh Anne as his wife Patty (L) is overcome with emotion upon his arrival in San Diego April 25, 2003 after a 9 month deployment. The Ticonderoga-class cruiser deployed with the Abraham Lincoln Strike Group in support of Operation Enduring Freedom and participated most recently in Operation Iraqi Freedom, having been one of the first ships to fire cruise missiles against Iraq (news - web sites) in the opening stages of the war. REUTERS/Mike Blake

EM2 Kirkland Everett of San Diego-based guided missile cruiser USS Mobile Bay hugs his wife Nicole after docking in San Diego April 25, 2003 after a 9 month deployment. The Ticonderoga-class cruiser deployed with the Abraham Lincoln Strike Group in support of Operation Enduring Freedom and participated most recently in Operation Iraqi Freedom. REUTERS/Mike Blake

Lt. Ryan Leary from the San Diego-based guided missile cruisers USS Mobile Bay embraces his wife Sarah and 6-month old son Silas upon his return to San Diego, April 25, 2003 after a 9 month deployment. The Ticonderoga-class cruiser deployed with the Abraham Lincoln Strike Group in support of Operation Enduring Freedom and participated most recently in Operation Iraqi Freedom, being one of the first ships to fire cruise missiles at Iraq (news - web sites). Leary met his son for the first time today. REUTERS/Mike Blake

President George W Bush leaves Easter Sunday service at the 4th Infantry Division Memorial Chapel with wife Laura and rescued Iraq (news - web sites) POWs Ronald Young (L) and David Williams at Fort Hood in Texas April 20, 2003. Photo by Jason Reed/Reuters

NOTICE FROM CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES:

Afghanistan Cruise

We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W.Bush became President. With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who want to keep their promise!

Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell, Cher, Phil Donahue,David Gephin, Barbara Streisand, Pierre Salinger, and anyone else who made that promise,

please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan. You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq.

The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.

Please pack for an extended stay...at least four years and you should consider the possibility of eight years.

Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Monica Lewinsky as recreation director, Ted Kennedy as lifeguard and emergency procedures director, and Congressman Gary Condit as intern coordinator.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her village can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.

Bon Voyage!

Another greasy-haired Hillary photo in the NYPost, near the bottom where it belongs.

HILLARY - not Duff or Swank - honored her former White House press chief Lisa Caputo's mommyhood with a party of 100 of their nearest and powerfulest. The hostess was another friend Norma Asnes. Whatever Norma does she obviously does good because she lives on Fifth. You could tell it was springtime. Hillary was in pale blue, Donna Hanover in rose, Barbara Walters in lavendar, Diane Sawyer in white, Liz Smith in yellow, realtor Alice Mason in pink, Harper's Bazaar publisher Valerie Salembier in pale green, Lynn Scher in tan.

As for Paula Zahn's color it was radiant. "I wasn't trying for this new prime-time show I just got," she said. "It was a surprise. It just came. Maybe that's how wonderful things happen. What it means is, I can actually have a life. Sundays were always hard when I had to stop enjoying the children and get to bed because I needed to be up so early. We're not big on going out. There's weekends for that. But if I do want to go for dinner, I can now. At nine. I'm so thrilled."

Sundays were always hard when I had to stop enjoying the children and get to bed

Paula enjoys her children so much that when she quit FNC to host at cnn she had an entire month to spend time with her kids. But 9-11 took care of that, she started at cnn that day and later took the morning position that makes it impossible to be with them and get them off to school. So rather than spend the remaining time she had with the kids, she just had to get her mug on screen for the biggest story ever.

I think it's painfully obvious what Paula's priorities are.

I can't believe Naomi Wolfe wasn't at the baby shower with her fabulous new book (now in paperback) MISCONCEPTIONS: Truth, Lies, and the Unexpected on the Journey to Motherhood.

Here's page 2 of the introduction:

The perfect book for whiny liberal soon to be moms. Number 1,582 on Amazon.

I'll be right back with a new thread.......

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