[Libertys Kid]

Dearest Nataly:

Am still waiting for yu to arrive in Baghdad. We are all enjoying quiet timez and we are so safe an warm down here. Ever sinse we came in de bunker we cannot hear any of de infidel music like Keep on Rockin in Free World and something called kurtesy of red, white and blue. Americans must be def dey play muzic too loud. Anyway, I much desire your round saddle. Qusay sez you ride smoother dan camel, which sez something cumming from a fello who hazent walked rite since daddy had him shot at. Cum here as soon as pozzible. We have alla de food in de cuntry and we been eating lots of beef jerky and beer. Qusay sez dere iz more gas down here dan we dumped on Kurds. Dont worry about being safe, I just seen our information comerade on TV and he says all Americans slaughtered and bleeding in de street. Safe for you. Now dat streets are clear of infidels we can go to dine at Ricin Room at Ali Babba Cafe. We even have American Twinkies you favor. Looking forward to kissing yur bushka all over and doing like goats do.

Much Love, Uday Hussein.

[Anamensis]

Ten minutes with Uday would have Miss Chick ready to kiss Dubya's ankles if he'd just get her out of there. Did you hear the story about him raping, torturing, and disfiguring some woman for 3 months before finally feeding her to his dobermans?