The GUILD 3-31-2003 The Lastest Fashion Fad in Japan

[Teacup]

Hey everyone. Just stopping by to say hello.

[lodwick]

Subject: Front Lines...

Good story from " Mousse ", flying off the Theodore Roosevelt CVN 71
in the Med. Thought you might find interesting.

Have a pretty good war story from last night.

Was fragged as the strike lead for last night's insertion of some
1000 paratroopers into Northern Iraq. Our mission was to provide
close air support for the guys as they were hitting the ground. Per
any military operation, it didn't exactly go as planned.

My strike package consisted of a dozen strike fighters loaded to the
gills. In fact, the cat shot was the heaviest I had ever been shot
off the boat. I had rallied the forces in eastern Turkey, waited for
the C-17s (who were also loaded to the gill....with troops) and then
took the package in country. The overall resistance was actually
pretty spectacular to see under the night vision goggles and I can
honestly say that I gained a hell of a lot of respect for the Army
guys who were jumping at low altitude out of those perfectly good
airplanes. And doing it into harm's way. There was about as much
triple "A" as I've seen since being out here directly going in their
direction.

That's where the Hunters come in.

We were operating in the vicinity of the drop when we got the call
from "higher authority" that our mission had changed and to contact
the AWACS who was controlling the entire north of the country. I
contacted him and he passed that we were retasked to take our package
"a bit further south and prosecute two targets of interest". He
passed the coordinates and target descriptions and asked us to meet a
certain "time on target" (TOT). Things happened extremely fast from
that point and I gathered up a Prowler (electronic jammer) and three
other Hunters to go "down South". I then quickly passed targets to
each member and then pushed out to meet our TOT.

The trek south took some 15 minutes and it was clear that where we
were going was more heavily defended than anywhere else (outside of
Baghdad) that we had been before. The heavy flak and triple A was
coming up from all directions and we were continually jinking to
offset the threat. Fortunately, no one was tagged prior to the
release of their ordnance and the section of aircraft to my east
reported that they were flowing back north.

That's when the "fun" started.

My section had just released our ordnance on an SA-3 site in western
Tikrit and was starting our turn back to the north when a "voice of
God" as I like to call it, came up and said, "SAM Launch, vicinity of
XXXX". I looked down at my moving map and guess who was EXACTLY
where that voice called the launch at? It only took about 3
nanoseconds for me to start defending and roll inverted to pick up
the incoming threat. Sure as shit! there it was right below and left
of my wingline. I made calls to my wingee who still hadn't gained
sight of the incoming missile and talked his eyes onto the threat.
As a side note, I have to admit that my voice sounds like a girl (did
I mention that Frenchy's a pussy?) on the tape and it's obvious I'm
sucking the seat cushion into my ass. Just when I made a counter
defensive manuever I picked up another launch about 1000 meters from
the first site that had shot. Great, two missiles coming my way, two
aircraft maneuvering like crazy within a mile of each other, and
every Republican Guard in Tikrit getting a show above them of two!
guys shucking and jiving their way outta there.

The missiles fired went stupid at about the same time that I was
really getting into it. I called out that they weren't guiding
(obvious when they went pure vertical) and gave my wingee a heading
to turn to so that we could leave this "hornet's nest". I was
actually considering not looking out the window anymore and just
pressing straight ahead. Upon looking around (I couldn't help it),
it was clear that we created quite a stir down there as every gun in
the city was pointed up and firing. We managed to climb back up
into the moronosphere and left the show behind!

In hindsight, it's amazing to me how quickly things went from the
proverbial "milk run" to "hell in a handbasket"! I suppose I won't
ever let my guard down again when flying above people who want to
kill you. A ! lesson for all us.

After tanking for the third time of the night (one of 6 tanking
evolutions over the 7 hour flight), I re-rallied the forces and
looked for more tasking. Each of us still had enough firepower on
board to take out most small towns in America. We then were tasked
to help out the guys we had really gone out there in the first place
for: those 1000 "Armies of One". All of us were assigned to take out
artillery pieces the rest of the night in direct support of the
troops on the ground. Was a sight to behold seeing so much metal
flying around the Iraqi countryside and knowing that it wasn't going
to be used again about our troops.

Well, I could ramble on for days, but will save more for later.

Hope everything's great at home. Miss all of you and hope to see you
all before the year's out!

Mousse..! .out.

[mountaineer]

Hi, T. Kind of slow around here today - I guess everyone's busy. I hope you're doing okay.

[pubmom]

Didn't Cher already try this look back in the 80's? Think I'll give this one a pass.

JL, who is the hot honeymoon nightie igniter, and how did I miss such a story?

T, glad to see you're around.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I just saw the funniest thing.

There was a huge, at least 20 foot high painting of Saddam on a wall to a city in Iraq. And spray painted on Saddam's crotch was MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!

[pubmom]

LOL! If you can find it in photo form, I'd love to see it.

[Aggie Mama]

That is so funny--on so many different levels. =)

[lodwick]

Dang - no one has stepped up on the self immolation topic.

I'm tempted to see if posting in Breaking News would get a nibble...

Cheers all.

[lodwick]

More muslim countries should emulate Dubai...

Scent of a woman

"I'm not getting married in the next two years!" Raveena Tandon reassured a French homme seated next to her, at the launch in Dubai of a perfume named after her.

The very same monsieur had earlier conjured up a scent named after Zeenat Aman. And now it's the turn of "Secret de Raveena Tandon", placing apni mast mast mademoiselle in the hallowed company of stars who've inspired parfums named after them. Count among the scented elite such heavy-duty stars as Elizabeth Taylor, Omar Sharif and Alain Delon.

[lodwick]

Power Point slideshow from Iraq

Click on the screen to advance.

[mountaineer]

Yet another reason not to watch CBS, as if we needed one:

THE scraping sound you hear next month will be Hollywood's anti-Americanism hitting bottom with the CBS movie "Hitler: The Rise of Evil." Executive producer Ed Gernon says he sees the miniseries - starring Robert Carlyle, Peter O'Toole and Julianna Margulies - about Germany falling under Hitler's rule as a cautionary tale for, you guessed it, the American people during the Bush administration. Gernon tells the upcoming TV Guide that he, Margulies and director Christian Duguay believe it's a good idea to look at the Bush White House through the prism of the Germany's genocidal psychopath.

A fearful American public's cooperation with Bush's policies, Gernon tells TV Guide's Mark Lasswell, is "absolutely" similar to post-World War I Germany's acceptance of Hitler's extremism. "I can't think of a better time to examine this history than now."

CBS president Leslie Moonves disavows the filmmaker's highly paranoid views and says he doesn't subscribe to the Bush-Hitler parallel. Page Six

[mountaineer]

Geraldo Rivera should be glad he got out of Iraq without a broken nose, according to a former Green Beret who says the Fox News star has a history of jeopardizing military operations.
Ex-Army commando Keith (Jack) Idema isn't surprised that military officials accused Rivera of leaking their positions on the air. Idema tells us that, when he served as an adviser to Northern Alliance forces in Afghanistan, he was ready to "punch out"

Rivera for allegedly putting his coalition comrades at risk with his newsgathering.

Idema, who figures prominently in Robin Moore's best seller "The Hunt for Bin Laden," was retired when he flew to Afghanistan in December 2001 to help Gen. Hazrat Ali.

"We had two- and three-man sniper teams hiding out in the mountains" of Tora Bora, recalls Idema. "Geraldo found out about it from the [anti-Taliban] mujahedeen soldiers. We were paying them between $25 and $100 a month. Geraldo put the word out that he would pay any Afghan who deserted the U.S. Army $100 a day to point out where the snipers were so he could get pictures of them."

Not surprisingly, Idema says, it wasn't hard to find volunteers. "Here are a couple of snipers hidden in this cave, and Geraldo comes prancing up.

Of course, now everybody knows where they are.

"One of my muj told me about him. I got into my damn car, drove to the hill where the media was camped to find Geraldo. He'd just left. Several of us were drawing straws about who would knock him out and escort him out of the place."

Rivera also caught heat in Afghanistan when he erroneously claimed to be standing on "hallowed ground" where U.S. soldiers had been killed by friendly fire.

A spokesman for Fox said the newsman couldn't be reached for comment. Maybe we'll hear from him once he's settled into his new digs in Kuwait.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/72378p-67059c.html

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Thanks for the Geraldo update. I am glad that he is out of Afghanistan.

Also.... I am sick of people equating Bush with Hitler. It's absolutely stupid. I love the first Amendment, but I don't believe the first amendment was made so people could spew lies.

[lodwick]

Los Angeles — Liv Tyler has added another rock musician to her life.

The daughter of Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler married Royston Langdon, lead singer of the band Spacehog, in a private ceremony at a villa in the Caribbean on March 25, her publicist said.

It's the first marriage for both. A small reception for family and friends is planned for next month.

Tyler, who plays the elf Arwen in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, has also appeared in such films as Armageddon, Inventing the Abbotts and That Thing You Do.

[mountaineer]

Silly email going around:

President Bush and Saddam decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.

Saddam found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk.

After five years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the dog fight, President Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the president because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Iraqi dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of its cage, and slowly waddled over towards Saddam's dog.

Saddam's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American Dachshund, but when it got close, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed Saddam's dog in one bite.

There was nothing left of Saddam's dog at all. Saddam came up to President Bush, shaking his head in disbelief.

"We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."

"That's nothing,", said Bush. "We had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working for five years to make that alligator look like a wiener dog."

[mountaineer]

Massive outpouring of sympathy alert! (Just kidding):

LOS ANGELES, April 3 — Actor Jim Carrey’s ex-wife wants a judge to award her more child support, saying that their daughter must get by on $10,000 a month and cannot afford her own bodyguards, personal trainer or Pilates equipment, according to court papers obtained by an investigative Web site Wednesday. full story

[mountaineer]

Rasta Bill does the Caribbean (ganja, mon!):

Bill Clinton is expected in Nassau on Friday in connection with his presidential foundation's support of campaigns to fight AIDS. The 42nd American president has made it a major priority of his foundation has to assist Caribbean countries in building their capacity to fight the AIDS crisis. full story

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

The happy couple.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I can't stop weeping for this poor child.

“Jane does not have personal security ... which I believe is important to have at this time,” Melissa Carrey said of her daughter in the court papers filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, noting that the teenager is “often followed around” by photographers.

“Jane enjoys Pilates and takes classes at the local Pilates studio but does not have her own personal trainer or her own Pilates equipment,” the ex-Mrs Carrey said in the papers, adding that she would like to build a $200,000 studio for the girl to practice the fitness regimen and her musical instruments.
Melissa Carrey, who has primary custody of her daughter, says she pays for her classes in drama, music recording and arranging, singing, tennis, dance, Pilates and computers, but would like to sign her up for horseback riding lessons and a private ski instructor.
Jane Carrey also needs money for a talent agent and to be professionally photographed as she begins a career in entertainment, her mother says.
Jane Carrey is the only child of Jim and Melissa Carrey, who divorced in 1995.

[lodwick]

I hate it when that doesn't happen...dang it, and bless their hearts.

10 grrr a month for a kid? Melissa, shake yourself woman.