Posted on 02/18/2003 7:56:50 PM PST by ConservativeMan55
Somebody please help me here. I can't understand it. I'm a successfull person right? I've got a little over a year and a half and I will have my Bachelors Degree.
I'm not ugly that I know of. I have no acne. I attempt to be an engaging personality.
I just recently got my associates degree.
I write columns for a political website.
I am a staunch conservative, and know more than the average Joe about politics and news.
I've produced live shows for radio. I'm 20 years old...but yet I can't seem to find a girl! Every friggin one is either taken or not interested.
I find it extremely peculiar that the ones that are taken are dating the guy flipping pancakes down at IHOP treating them like S^%&%. Seriously folks...something's happening here, and it ain't buffalo springfield.
Everybody 'round here just thinks I'm full of sweetness and light.
They're likely not even aware you believe they treat you badly.
You've still got a lot of time ahead of you. When you get to my age and my position, then you can get desperate and dejected. [grin]
Seriously, young women have been brought up very differently than in previous generations. Many have been convinced that sex is a bargaining chip or a recreation (and who wants one of those girls?). They think of relationships in terms of how it satisfies them, not as mutual commitments. And, most importantly, they look for exactly the kind of guys that make exciting dates and lousy partners. There are certainly good girls out there, but they get snatched up pretty quick. I know if I met one today I'd marry her tomorrow.
So, I'm sorry I can't tell you what to do differently, just that others share your pain. And things could be worse... you could be my age!
Good luck, friend.
So get a fake wedding ring, and take advantage of the "other women?"
Then all I can tell you, "If your not handsome, you'd better be handy". You'll do fine. Don't try Seattle. The non-lesbian girls there don't shave their legs or armpits. The girls probably have halitosis, too.
In my daughter's case, if you aren't an unemployed guy with a hair color not found in nature, multiple tattoos and body piercings, and no ambition to ever do anything beyond sit on the couch, play guitar (badly), and write and sing atonal songs that no one else wants to listen to, she just wouldn't be interested.
No, the point is that when you are married, you no longer have that searching, desperate demeanor. Woman may be attracted to the aura of satisfaction and confidence.
Its not any easier for us conservative women!
----------------
Have you two met? '-)
You're a Calvinist, eh? And you're only 20, and have already given up on finding the woman God has foreordained for you?
Have faith...
LOL... good luck with that fortune cookie writing gig.
Seriously, from your posts and profile you seem really bright and terrific, and I wish I'd met someone like you 25 years ago. But of course 25 years ago all I was interested in were girls who wanted to party and hop in the sack, which is how I wound up with my first wife.
Love proves that God has a sense of humor. A rather ironic one, but a sense of humor nonetheless.
Second, your biggest problem right now is that you're "mature for your age". At a time when most 20 year olds haven't gotten past "let's party, dude", you already have a career and a well-informed brain. That's going to narrow your options for a while, until more of the women in your "dating age" range grow up enough to appreciate those things.
Another problem is that at 20, your "dating age range" is pretty narrow, since women often like to date men somewhat older than themselves. So unless you want to date high school girls (no, don't), your prime dating pool is 18-19 year old women, who would actually prefer someone older than you anyway (and would probably be too young to appreciate your career/thoughts). And women old enough to appreciate you have a lot of even older men available as your competition.
Finally, being conserative at your age is a *real* issue, because traditionally people start out liberal when they're young and get more conservative as they get older -- often much older. When you're 40 you'll find that a lot of women have come around to your way of thinking due to real-life bumping them in the nose too many times to ignore it, but at 20, forget it.
Now that I've depressed you...
Years after I was married, I tripped over an advice column that I wish like hell I had found back when I was dating. Most advice columns are pretty worthless, but this one is, in a word, brilliant -- and I don't use that word lightly. This guy *really* knows his stuff. It took me over 40 years to figure out some of these things on my own, and some of the other parts of his advice I *still* hadn't figured out on my own, but gave me "eureka!" moments when I read them, because they suddenly made sense of things that had happened during dating that I hadn't understood at the time.
So trust me, if you read his stuff, you'll be 20 years ahead of your competition.
One thing that makes his advice so useful is that of instead being written from a women's perspective, like too many "dating advice columns", and instead of being based on asking women "what they want", he actually got to the root of the issue by interviewing countless women and asking them what sort of guy actually won them over and how. He found that interestingly enough, what women *think* or *say* they want in a guy isn't what actually gets and keeps their interest. Plus, he seems to have a great grasp of practical psychology, both male and female.
The columnist's pen name is "Doc Love". Yeah, yeah, I know, sounds like a bad lounge singer. Don't let that throw you off.
A metric ton of his columns are archived here. Since his later columns presume that you already know stuff he's discussed in his earlier columns, I would advise digging back through the "More Archives" link until you reach the last (oldest) archives, then reading the pages "backwards".
If you're really interested in making this a science, he also sells a book/tape package which describes his "system" in great detail -- and his columns make no secret of trying to sell you his product -- but the columns themselves provide a huge amount of practical information all by themselves and should be enough to help you drastically improve your dating success.
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