Well I interpret that to mean you never do anything to harm them, but neither do you have to let them do things to harm you. Sometimes just being away is the way to honor them because that means you won't be tempted to knock their blocks off!
I'm sorry you're having such difficulty with them. Sounds like they're still jealous of your relationship to your grandparents, that THEY must think should be theirs by right. But we earn the love we get from other folks in this life, and if they haven't earned it, they won't have it. Sometimes I'm glad I live 1500 miles away from my family. I don't get embroiled in their day to day problems with each other. I can fly in and visit for a week or two, then come back to MA.
See,now, that is the good thing about living in the slag heaps!
Yeah, I forgot to mention one little item about this weird family relationship last night.... because I don't think about it. But, I think other people do. Grama still has quite a bank account. I personally am of the opinion that that's what they are wanting. Little do they know she's already disbursed quite a bit of it our way. There may be fireworks someday when she's gone. But, personally, I'd hand it all over to 'em if I could get her up here with me. Discussed it with my attorney. Won't work.