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The Lounge is open!

Morning Joe.

Could I please have one of your specials?

Thanks

Oh am I so glad to find this place open.

I'm having a miserable day..............

Please Joe keep'em coming!!!!!!

Ah, nicely done, I see the jam jar ashtrays are gone, replaced with something a little more classy...... crystal.

Hi Joe. Make mine a very dry Bombay Sapphire martini. It's been a frustrating day.

And, how about a nice cigar.

Here are a couple jokes for everyone:

The brewery presidents

Four brewery presidents walk into a bar. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey, Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."

The bartender gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world. "Give me 'The King of Beers,' a Budweiser."

The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water. Give me a Coors."

He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke."

The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking Guinness?"

The Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

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A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS

1) Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

2) Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

3) One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 LBS.

4) My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

5) The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

6) The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

7) The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

8) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

9) Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

10) I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

11) Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

12) Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I just forget to eat," Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

13) A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

14) They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen witch ... do it and die."

15) The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him.)

16) I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

17) I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

18) If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?

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Halloween and the vampires

It was Halloween and three vampires went into a bar.

"What will you have?" asked the bartender.

"I'll have a glass of blood," replied the first.

"I'll have a glass of blood too please," said the second.

"I'll have a glass of plasma," said the third.

"OK, let me get this straight, " said the bartender, "That'll be two bloods and a blood light?"

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Have a great weekend!

Evening,everyone-I wouldn't sell my soul for a gin&tonic right now,but I'd seriously consider renting it out for a brief interval...

I am SO late! Had "stuff" to do this afternoon. Sorry, Joe!

When Dukakis was running for president, one of the Dems gimmicks was to give away packs of cigarettes called (obviously)Dukakis cigarettes, and not once did the demoncrats ever say a bad thing about smoking.