[Argh]

Goldie, a recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a Florida beach near Venice. She looked up and noticed that an elderly gentleman had walked up,
placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir,how are you?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied.

"Do you live around here?" she asked.

"Yes," he answered, continuing to read.

Goldie persisted. "Do you like pussy cats?"

With that, he threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits, and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

[.30Carbine]

I knew his name was Katz because of his whiskers. So there.

[Argh]

Just a sample of moronic Miami crud I've had to put up with since Saturday:

"LOL!!! FRANCE - that is exactly it the gators are the football equivalent of France - just a bunch of cheese eating surrender monkees!

Also they have the swagger of Alabama but the tradition of Wake Forest."

As you can see, spelling, capitalisation, and punctuation are optional at the University of Miami.

[maxwell]

GAD. How the hell did y'all get 600 posts on here already. I ain't even woke up yet.

These three guys escape from Alcatraz prison. One is british, one is American, and the last one is Turkish.

But now they're bored and so they're wandering around thinking of something to do.

"Let's play golf." The American finally says.

"I don't know how to play that." The Turk says.

"Oh it's easy, " answers the Brit, "all you need is a ball, a stick, and a hole."

"I got the ball, " says the American,

"I got the stick, " says the Brit.

Then the Turk says, "I don't wanna play."