Mean Mommies

None | July 21, 2002 | Mean Mommies

[WIMom]

This thread, hopefully, will be dedicated to parenting issues conservative face on a daily basis. The issues will be broad, but the primary focus will be on current events and how they effect raising children in today's liberal society.

I can not always start a new thread if we need one, so I envision a group effort. If a thread needs to be created, start one. There is no point person per se. We are all parents, we are all busy, and we can all take initiative when needed. Heck, we are parents.

This topic discussion is not just limited to parents, those who want to experience our parenting styles but have no children are welcome. We can learn from everyone. Young adults are especially welcome to add their perspective.

These are in no way set rules, but my ideas. Let's add to them, delete from them, or chuck the entire idea if it is too cheesy. (I just had to, sorry)

Let me try to explain how the Mean Mommies started. (Mo1, correct any inaccuracies) During the June Fundraiser, Mo1, expressed how she was being bombarded by neighbor kids (here after known as the 'village idiots') and the daily hassle it was because he Village Idiots were intruding on her family. Now, those kids live literally in her bushes. They appear at 6:00 AM, 2:00, PM, at dinner, or when the family is heading out to the beach. They are there constantly. So, Mo1, has put her foot down. The Village Idiots are allowed over some times, but not every waking second of every day. Mo1's kids hate her because they get grounded just to avoid the Village Idiots, and had dubbed her a Mean Mommy.

So, Mo1, are the Village Idiots still hassling your family?

This is the initial group. If this thread is a success, we all have to keep it updated. I can not be expected to run this on a daily basis, we all have to. That's where I need assurance from this core group, can we depend on you? There seems to be a huge interest with parenting, so we will need everyone to 'parent' these threads. Post your updates periodically for the rest of us. I can not spend every day here, just like all other parents and families. (Heh, I'd be single if that happened)

So, what do you all think? Good idea? Bad Idea? Can this be successful? Let's at least start the discussion, see where it leads.

[WIMom]

I knew there's a reason I love him.

[WIMom]

We live in the boonies. We've had a ton of rain, so fire isn't a problem. I've discussed with the girls about friends who know friends who know friends, and the both are 2 years out of high school and the HS kids aren't an issue, neither are univited guests. This is a close knit group of friends. Like I said earlier, we know the kids who would be here, and we know most of their families. Can you see the dilemma?

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

If someone decided to sue you it could get ugly....... if you even "hinted" to anyone that "what I don't know won't hurt me" you could get pounded in court........Hell, you could still be liable just because it was on your property.....right?

Very tricky situation........ how many people are they wanting to have? Is there any way to contact those parents and have them sign a waiver? I'm basically a chicken......I think I would say no......lol

[WIMom]

Yes, I know. I'm going to my 25 year hs reunion in August. This wouldn't even have been an issue then. It's sad, isn't it, that we are so worried about government and the decisions that rule our lives.

[Mo1]

and the whole house reeked of Pledge - no way I left it that clean on my way to the beach!!

FOFL ... oh that brings back memories

And I thought I was sooooooooo smart back in those days .. LOL

[Mo1]

This wouldn't even have been an issue then.

True .. but then again we didn't live in a sue happy society like today

[southerngrit]

Yeah - I threw a few parties myself, back in the day. Half the fun was covering our tracks, wasn't it?

[Mo1]

I watch my kids today doing the same things I did at their age and I think ... WAS I THAT DUMB?? ... fofl

[southerngrit]

I thought I was BRILLIANT. My parents didn't tell me until years later that they were on to me the whole time. Fortunately, I didn't do anything all that bad - if I had, my Marine Dad would have straightened me out ASAP. He let me experience the consequences of my behavior and figure out for myself the stupidity of some of my actions. Oh boy, do I miss him!

[goodieD]

oo! oo! I'm a mean mommie, I want on! My 4 yr old thinks one of our "village idiots" is her best friend in the world. I can't stand this kid, his brother, or his mom (a no discipline type who lets both her kids hit her with only a whiney rebuke..). I have to limit the number of days a week I let my little one play with the VI. I'll be soooo glad when she's in private school with more children I feel good about her playing with.

[Lorena]

I've been a Mean Mom right from the start (my boys are now 17 and 14) and would like to be included in your ping list, please. As for your question tonight, you said: "The rules are, drop your keys in a bucket, and spend the night. They can pitch tents and sleep over.

Well, besides the good advice you've already had against the drinking, with which I concur, a red flag went up over the sleeping over part. Boys and girls, hormones raging, sleeping together in the same vicinity? I would expect lots of tent hopping to be going on. I can't imagine placing such temptation right in front of them like that. No way would my kids be allowed to go to a co-ed sleepover.

[Auntie Mame]

Mom, with all this input let's list the pros and cons and see if we've got this straight:

Cons:

1. Your husband is against it.
2. Liability
3. Against the law
4. Could be dangerous if other kids crash the party
5. Kids sleep over (kids + hormones + alcohol = ???)

Pros:

1. My kids want to do it and I want them to like me and think I'm cool
2. My kids want to do it and are better debaters than I am

I had a hard time with the Pros. If you can do better, feel free.

However, because you have even entertained this wild idea from your kids, I just have one question: Are you really sure you're a mean mommie?

Please understand, I feel for you, I really do. You can never let your guard down when you have smart kids like yours apparently are.

[xsmommy]

I am with you, Texasgirl, i would be afraid of the liability issues. And a waiver does not excuse you from liability if there is negligence, and serving alcohol to underage kids would be seen as negligence. The accidents on the way home etc. Also, if one of the kids was in an accident and killed someone else, you could be sued by the victim for serving alcohol to the driver.

i can see your dilemma WImom, but as someone who routinely can imagine the worst case scenario in any given situation, this would be too scary!

[Humidston]

My vote: Hormones are the biggest problem here. Booze, in my book, wouldn't even be an option at that age.

My alternate would be to offer a fun zany party with boys and girls there, but NO booze and NO spending the night. How about you let the girls decide a different and fun party theme? Hayride? HUGE water pull? Raid the watermelon patch?? IMHO, something competative or something creative that wears them out with huge amounts of hysterical laughter.

Since your girls are close to the 'witching' age, a drink (wine or a beer) with family at dinnertime is what I'd suggest.

(BTW my kids are parents now and we never allowed them to break laws/rules. We also chose venues where drinking wasn't an option, but that fun was always approved.)

Hope this post makes sense.... I'm up because I couldn't sleep and am a tad groggy! ;-)

[TxBec]

here I go.. you said you know 80% of their friends.. that means you have only met the good ones :)

I was one of those good kids (digging out my halo), but whenever I had a party (when I was 15-17), like it was mentioned above, the magnet effect happens.. a friend of a friend of a friend (who you don't even know) inevitably shows up. I remember walking into my bathroom during one of my parties and finding a friend of a friend of a friend smoking a joint. (yes my parents were in the house, chaperoning.) Party over.

Obviously at my age, there was no alcohol, but you can see who can work their way into a party..

Now picture a bunch of girls (or is this coed?) out in the middle of the boonies having a camping keg party outdoors. (I assume you will stay in the house).. :: shuddering ::

[WIMom]

When they first asked me about the party, my first reaction was no, but then I thought, I'd hear them out. Let them lay out their ideas. My reasoning was, if they know I'm listening and give serious consideration to their plans, they will come to me with other things as well. We are finally over the girl teenage monster age. Thank goodness.

Everyone's input is just about exactly what I was thinking, but told the kids I would weigh all the pros and cons. The beer and the tents were the biggest issue for me. When they first asked, I had to really restrain myself from dismissing the idea immediately. The older our kids get, the more complicated the problems come.

This is a great thread. Not only can we discuss issues, but now we have just increased our parent power! Maybe a bon fire party, at Halloween might be fun. We have an old barn, and could have a 'barn dance' with all the trimmings, and a theme where they dress as hillybillies.

[ThinkingMan]

I am not a mean mommy, but I am a demanding dad! I have 4 boys, the oldest almost ten and the youngest just under 6 months. It is necessary to be demanding in order to teach them to be fine young men.

I do not allow the phrase "It's not my fault" in my house and I have told them that when asked to do something, the only two correct responses are "Yes sir" or "Yes Father".

I love my boys very much and play with them as much as possible, but I also demand that they understand who is in charge.

If this qualifies me as a mean mommy, please add me to the ping list!

[xsmommy]

i agree with you, WImom, that dismissing their ideas out of hand would not be good. much better to discuss the suggestions rationally and give concrete reasons why it is not a good idea.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

WI- good advice, from an attorney........ and since you are talking about 20 year olds who are usually pretty headstrong....... you never know what they might pull........

[xsmommy]

there is temptation to say, geez, they are college kids, likely doing this when they are on their own anyway. But to host it and put your imprimatur of approval on it by that fact, opens you up to a lot. not worth it.