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To: Maceman
Any guy who never even sees it coming is too clueless to live.

I disagree. Women are very adept at long term planning, secrecy and manipulation. Have you ever noticed that it is usually the man who immediately moves out of the family home even though it is the woman who usually initiates the eventual family breakup? The women know they have the power of the law and the courts behind them. Even if they don't know how powerful the State's backing can be, the first lawyer they see will gleefully explain it to them.

Women hold all the cards in this type of situation. They know that eventually they will gain control of the children and will have access to whatever family assets and/or income they will need to maintain their customary lifestyle.

46 posted on 07/06/2002 7:12:55 AM PDT by nygoose
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To: nygoose
Women are very adept at long term planning, secrecy and manipulation. Have you ever noticed that it is usually the man who immediately moves out of the family home even though it is the woman who usually initiates the eventual family breakup? The women know they have the power of the law and the courts behind them. Even if they don't know how powerful the State's backing can be, the first lawyer they see will gleefully explain it to them. Women hold all the cards in this type of situation. They know that eventually they will gain control of the children and will have access to whatever family assets and/or income they will need to maintain their customary lifestyle.

Everything you say here is true. But it doesn't disprove my point, which is simply that one has to be a brain-dead moron to not realize that one's marriage is heading towards the breaking point befoer it happens.

There are always plenty of warning signs that a relationship is in trouble, and the fact that man could be taken by surprise when the woman kicks him out is prima facie evidence that he was a distant, detached, uncommunicative and emotionally unavailable husband in the first place.

I'm not saying that women aren't ever at fault in the break-up of a marriage, or that good guys don't get dumped unfairly. And I'm not suggesting that every marriage can be saved in any case. But women need communication and presence above all else in a relationship, and if a guy is so out of touch with his wife that he is surprised when she woman wants out, then he likely deserves to be dumped.

62 posted on 07/06/2002 7:35:36 AM PDT by Maceman
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To: nygoose
Right on the nails head, goose!! My husband's ex and same trash she ran with planned and traded knowledge with each other on how to do this. They KNEW they would get whatever they wanted, and sure enuff, BINGO!!! You can't avoid snakes in the grass in this world, but the fact that the courts are automatically for the "mother" (I use that term loosely in this situation) doesn't give the man a chance.
76 posted on 07/06/2002 7:48:59 AM PDT by lilmsdangrus
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To: nygoose
Right you are. If the woman thinks he might be the type who will not just meekly leave, then the opening salvo is a restraining order, frequently obtained without requirement for anything more than a "feeling" he may become violent.

Guys denied access to their homes, children, financial documents, etc., and who are treated like thieves by escorting law enforcement personnel when they go to get their underwear are a candidate for becoming verbally abusive, at a minimum.

Thank God my Ex was foolish enough to record herself and paramours in flagrante delecto on videotape while I was out-of-town at work. The copy I made made the divorce much smoother.

Yes, I did see it coming, but tried to get things turned around(put the romance back). That was before I found the tape....

Cost: $380.00, two six-packs of Dos Equis (to retype the stipulation so it would be uncontested), and half of what we had purchased together. Not bad, but it did hurt.

That was twelve years ago, and I have remarried--one of my best friends.

It isn't marriage that is bad, but be incredibly careful who you marry.

107 posted on 07/06/2002 8:09:43 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe
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To: nygoose
I never saw it coming, and she talked me into moving out on a "trial" separation. 3 weeks later she threw the kids out, and 10 minutes after getting the kids she hit me with the divorce papers and the restraining order.

Two months later she hit me with a custody fight for 1 of 2 children (devastated the one she didn't want). Took all of my assetts to get custody (16 years ago), and now I'm 55 and totally broke.

453 posted on 07/06/2002 3:56:53 PM PDT by stumpy
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To: nygoose
The women know they have the power of the law and the courts behind them

Unfortunately this is true. Men are regularly denied access to their children because of false claims by the wife who probably already has another boyfriend in tow. She continues to collect a good percentage of his paycheck, yet he has to fight to see his kids. The final insult is that he can't even deduct it on his income tax returns.

If he falls behind in his payments the county steps in and deducts it from his paycheck, then they start collecting high interest on the amount, so he is not only indebted to his ex, but is also indebted to the county. I know two young men this happened to, and both of them say they will never marry again.

767 posted on 08/04/2002 11:22:46 PM PDT by janetgreen
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