Posted on 07/06/2002 5:00:19 AM PDT by buccaneer81
Taking her garbage seriously is a complete and total waste of your time.
Another brilliant statement of her's on a different thread refered to all of us evil men wanting to kill women. That's the kind of mindset you are attempting to reason with here.
Don't misunderstand me. I love the traditional role of marriage. I am happily married to a wonderful man who treats me like a princess. I have had to dump many preconceived notions along the way in order to keep marital bliss. Perhaps because everyone these days goes into marriage with the idea that it is all joy, all unconditional love and romance, they are shocked into disbelief when they find it actually requires hard work.
That stupid 'ideal' along with generations raised without a clue as to hard work and commitment (honor and civility) have resulted in a complete break down of a very worthwhile institution.
Sadly, it does not exist within just one sex. Everything is so disposable these days. Children, husbands, wives, life in general. Those of us who believe in actually honoring your vows and doing what you say you will, are in a very small minority. It seems that honor and constancy are no longer valuable commodities. How heartbreaking.
They still are it's just that now the market for these commodities is much, much smaller.
Due in large part to the reasons you stated.. People with an unrealistic view of what marriage is and why it's important. They think everyone lives allie McBeal and has a new mercedes for every day of the week.
And if you don't? Well, then you are obviously sleeping with the wrong person..
I think she's trying, in vain, to defend the indefensable - the continued favoritism shown to women in our divorce court system (not to mention criminal court). She's made some pretty hefty claims on this thread. She's accused men of "whining" and "bashing" repeatedly, with little evidence other than a few retaliatory responses to individual women who have provoked and prodded as well. Yet she engages in the same behavior herself, resorting to name calling when she can't win on logic. I intend to call her on it when I see it.
No, I think that in reality, she is living off the system, stealing her livlihood from some poor sap that was unfortunate enough to have married here and is now forking over $2000+ per month to support her. She says otherwise, but her actions speak much louder. Why would she be defending the biased system if she weren't benefitting from it?
Now I know why I don't watch television.....My husband summed up his views quite nicely one day and I have never forgotten it....
"Why are women today so intent on becoming lessor beings? They want to be professors, doctors, lawyers ...and we thought Goddess was good enough."
How did he find out? She got pregnant, apparently on the very bed they shared, by another guy, attempted to abort it, and they called my brother at work when complications arose. He met Steve (the presumed dad) when he arrived. Lovely isn't it? Regina told him that she was leaving him when he went in to see her.
My brother is nobody's dummy. He was simply blindly in love with her. He would have forgiven that slut, raised the child as his own, and still put her upon a pedestal (if slightly tarnished) had she wished. I give thanks everyday that she did not. But no, up until that moment she acted the part of the doting wife. Everyone was shocked when it came out what she had been up to. Her sister is the one who clued us in partly because she felt so bad over my brothers devastation- financially as well as emotionally.
And it's sort of grimly amusing to see many of the posters, who would seek to deny the nose on their face, that the experiences that these men have gone through aren't real, that there's no bias - that marriage is just still honky-dory - and that it's all still men's fault...yadeyadeya. As if men were stupid enough to be argued into denying direct experience.
The happy thing is that, not all women are American. For American women that don't subscribe to the "It's all about me philosophy"- my sympathies - but you are rare and awful hard to find.
I travel a bit, and each time I go to South America, or recently to the ex-Soviet Union, I am struck by the unabashed femininity of the women - and the strikingly different attitudes they hold about men, women, sex and marriage. A little note on attitudes about sex. I don't know what 1950's paradigm is responsible for the cliche that men are the ones obsessed with sex - but that's laughably out-of-date. I think you all know what I'm talking about. If not, check out an average women's magazine.
But, no whining. The thing is - we have options! - but you need a passport. I've already ruined one guy by taking a trip with him to Cartagena, Colombia. Now, he just can't get interested in dating back here in Charlotte, NC - even though some women are throwing themselves at him. He's working on his next trip to Europe as I speak. Every time I go overseas - I meet a lot of guys with experiences like the ones I've heard in this thread. The difference is - they explored other options overseas, got married in some cases, and are able to smile, shake their heads - and say "Glad I'm out of that mess".
Maybe it's not for everybody. There are indeed complications. Language, culture, employment, visas, or contamination by Oprah after immigrating, but for what it's worth - it seems that it offers what marriage used to be.
And if anybody wants to flame me for my honest opinions about foreign women, go right ahead. It won't matter. :^)
Though you would never know it, I have 5 kids. I say two things as an avoidance of temptation, or as a way to make sure that a situation does not arise where I am given a chance to compromise myself, (even the appearance of)
1:I have 5 kids (this is usually enough to send the flirtatious gentleman in the opposite direction)
2: My husband is 6'2 and weigh's 200 pounds (is the failsafe backup if the visual of 5 kids isn't enough.) and as a last resort
( because of the lack of courtesy this one comes into play more and more)3: I am calling the police if you bother me again.
Even the most moral woman or man has been tempted. This is simply human. But before it goes beyond a thought or an instance, the morality factor comes into play and then a choice presents itself. Which way you go is entirely up to you.
Yeh, but it wouldn't solve the "nuke beside the bed" problem or the consequent "divorce is legal rape" problem when she discovered she was bored.
I've done a fair amount of thinking about this subject over some 20 years, having been through a rough one, even wrote a small book about it (focus was divorce lawyers). The legal system insists upon fitting people into gender roles and making decisions on that basis because it's easy and because they want someone other than the state to pay for any children. If judges were more priests and able and willing to see people more as they are, and were allowed more to exercise thier judgement (always assuming they had good judgement), the decisions would be a lot fairer. Beyond sensitivity and insight, this takes courage. Margaret Chase Smith, former Senator from Maine, once commented in response to feminist quote-baiting that she had always seen women as people first. Both women and men exhibit a very wide range of behavior and somehow this needs to be taken into account because the "one size fits all" legal mentality is NOT working.
My 2 cents with bonus of a dollar and a half . . . ;-}
I'm not sure I agree, but that's your opinion, you're entitled to it.
Too many men in my neighborhood think that they can have two or three kids and not slack off a bit on how much golf and tennis they play.
Do you really keep track of how many hours they spend on the golf course?
Lets see, the woman marries the guy, presumably because she likes what she sees. But wait, she really doesn't like it after all so she tries to change him into something he is not. I've seen a couple of instances where a woman married a guy that had a boat, a Harley, and a jetski. Those are signs that he likes these things, I would think. But after a while, she changes her mind, and expects him to change as well.
Something has to give, or I guess that's someone, and it's usually the wife.
Hey, she married him.
BTW, I'd really like to hear the other side of the story.
Its these kind of issues that make me glad that I'm not married. I know it works well for some people, even most people, but I guess I'm just not "grown up" enough to throw myself into servitude where I have to continually mold myself into a different person at the beckon call of the wife. I am what I am and that's that.
I forgot to add, "under the threat of the nuke beside the bed known as divorce.
I had to laugh when I saw this.....My husband told me should I ever leave him, please do so with a woman so he didn't have to kill anyone, just quietly say...."Gee I never knew."
Well, Yes, they are, sort of ... my son recently married a very Christian Indonesian girl who lives in the U.K. specifically because he saw what happened to me in my divorce. My daughter, on the other hand, is a class act (yes, I'm proud) -- good wife, good mother, mature. She always was mature. Son-in-law is very hard-working, a devoted family man and much more, actually. I have great admiration for him. If my daughter ever expressed any of the selfish brain-dead female nonsense coming from our universities and the young female class in this country/culture, I would verbally take her head off. If my son-in-law ever cheated on my daughter, he would hear from me immediately and in no uncertain terms. I might fly down and "drop in". I don't think these are liklihoods but I have no illusions about human fiobles, being myself human. "None of my business", you say? I don't see it that way. They're still my kids and will receive my guidance whenever I (not they) think it's appropriate. Happily, that hasn't happened for quite some years.
I am happy that I got a good woman before all of the nonsense that is going on today became common....by Don Myers
The "Katherine" in your scenario is all the more tragic because she is one of the very few good women who actually live the true spirit of marriage. It cost her. I've seen it....nightdriver
You don't get it. These posts ooze hatred and loathing. Women get worked over in divorces, too. ...Dark Mirage
Yup....sounds like a bunch of hatred and loathing to me...only not on their side.
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