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I don't know if my thoughts are of any value. I knew a lot more about raising kids back before I had some.

My first thought is that you can't force people to overcome irrational fears. This doesn't sound like willfull disobedience, but an inability to deal with her fear. Something has scared your daughter about being alone, and she needs some time to work that out. I have a 7 year old boy who won't go to his room alone at night. I let him lay down on the couch near me and go to sleep. Once he's asleep, I can awaken him and send him to his room.

I've always believed that I should be quick to apologize to my kids when I've been wrong. I think they see that as a strength in their Dad. And I don't make it a quick, small apology but I make sure they understand that I mean it and that it's a big deal to me. I want them to realize that confession and repentence are important.

You said that you try to spend quality time with your kids. Why not use this as a special time just between you and your daughter. Read to her or tell her stories while she goes to sleep. I think she will treasure those times long after you're gone.

Sept 11, taught me that life is to precious to waste sweating the small stuff........your baby needing her parents some extra time right now because of her fears is not a big deal....enjoy this time, all too soon she won't need to come to mom and dad and you'll wish you could snuggle with her and chase away the goblins one more time.

Your MIL on the other hand knows she is interferring..... You are facing a losing battle to take her on while living in her house......I'm sure you already know that. Your family needs your own place ASAP so you and your wife can parent your children in the way the both of you agree to.

Thats all IMHO........we just chug along learning as we go.......we all lose our tempers and make wrong decisions.....we apologize and move on.....

Enjoy your babies....they will still respect you if you give in to them some times.