Southwest Airlines rear end measuring device.

[nemo]

Does anyone have any design ideas to help Southwest Airlines measure rear ends to determine who must pay double?

[3AngelaD]

Please see Neil Boortz below. He has a great idea.

[stanz]

Yeah, let them take a cast of J. Nadler's ass.

[stanz]

ping

[DoughtyOne]

No I don't, but I'm tired of watching the media try to rake them over the coals. The airline has a commodity to sell. It's airline seats. If they have 70 seats, they have right to expect to seat 70 full paying customers on their flight. If one person prevents another passenger from boarding, then he should be made to compensate the airline. And having one person squeeze into half a space so a blimpo can take one and a half isn't right. As much as I may not like having to call very heavy people on their obesity, this is an instance where it seems right to do so.

[Tactical Thunder]

Heres one have a group of seats set up in a back room and if you can't sit in it with out going into the area of the 2 seat then you buy one ticket if your body moves into the 2nd seat you have to pay for it. Other wise the person in the second seat is paying for the rear end of the other person.

[DoughtyOne]

You mean, Nadler the Hutt?

[gov_bean_ counter]

The length of your standard "ax handle" is a generally accepted unit of measure in the southwest. Two ax handles should get you charged double. Three should put you in the cargo hold of bulk carrier. And there you have another problem with Hill being president. Air Force one would have to be a UPS plane.

[RobbyS]

Let them do what one of my very heftt friends alsways does: he flies first-class and pays "the freight." I do think, jowever, that they should give people double frequent flier miles.

[El Sordo]

Just make the plane door narrower.

If you can fit through the door, all will be well.

[DoughtyOne]

I agree. Double FF miles seems more than reasonable if the person has to pay for two seats.

[nemo]

As long as they don't get stuck in the doorway. Then they'll have to pay for all the seats!

[stanz]

LOL! That's just what I needed!

[stanz]

The length of your standard "ax handle" is a generally accepted unit of measure in the southwest.

In Hill's case, the standard should be "battle ax"

[LibertineR]

Who needs to measure?

All you need to do, is to have two gates for boarding, and leave a box of donuts in front of one of the gates, and lock that gate's door from the other side. All the donut eaters would be filtered out, and assure a fatty-free flight from those coming from the non-donut laden gate.

Simple.

[nemo]

The donut filter is an excellent idea. I wonder which type of donut would be most effective?

[Corin Stormhands]

All you need to do, is to have two gates for boarding, and leave a box of donuts in front of one of the gates, and lock that gate's door from the other side. All the donut eaters would be filtered out, and assure a fatty-free flight from those coming from the non-donut laden gate.

Yeah but then you'd never get the sky marshals on the flights either...

[LibertineR]

Somehow, I don't think it would matter what kind of donut.

You might not actually even need donuts at all, just a box that says "DONUTS" on it. That should be enough to send the big ones down the locked aisle and trap them until the plane can safely back away from the gate.

They will argue amonst themselves, assuming that the first few in there grabbed up the lot of them and are hording them in their armpits.

[nemo]

Once they realize that there are no donuts and they've missed the plane, airport security may need to put them down with tranquilizer darts. Once they're down, they can fasten a radio collar for tracking.

[LibertineR]

You are right, I hadn't considered the stampede factor.

Let me ponder that one.