Rosie Demands More Publicity

Rosie Demands More Publicity

NY, March 13, 2002

In a bold move today, the roly-poly star demanded more publicity. "I think there may still be some people in the world who don't know me!!!" she opined at a mid-town press conference. " I have my own magazine with my mug on every cover. I have a highly rated talk show.

I have even written a book and have been touting portions of it to every form of media I can find. But there are still some poor stiffs out there who do not have a clue!!!"

Working herself into a heated frenzy, the perspiring plumpster pounded the lectern and demanded: "Listen up people! THIS IS ABOUT ME!!! What do I have do? Show bedroom shots of me and my 'partner'?"

The air in the news conference was electric as foam sprayed from the mouth of the avoirdupois challenged babbler. "I have now invited the President to visit me and my non-traditional family. If he had any respect for my great talent, he would be on the phone right now!!!! I want to hear a groundswell from all my fans!!! Let your voices be heard!!! GIVE ME WHAT I DESERVE!!!"

At this point Rosie collapsed on the floor in an apparent fit and could only be revived with a dozen chocolate éclairs. A spokesman for the porcine princess later stated that she misspoke her final words and really meant "Give me everything I want" since "'Give me what I deserve' was too confrontational".

Rosie ingests excrement.

1 posted on 03/13/2002 11:00:45 AM PST by RippleFire

I hate to admit it, but I used to like it when she wore leather and did "Blue" comic standup. Before she became this soccer mom icon. She used to could tell a GOOD dirty joke.

2 posted on 03/13/2002 11:06:43 AM PST by Texaggie79

Cussed like a sailor too.

3 posted on 03/13/2002 11:07:00 AM PST by Texaggie79

I'm no nutritionist, but is that the secret to becoming a lesbian, egomaniacal, gun hating blimp? If so, it certainly worked for her. =)

4 posted on 03/13/2002 12:29:14 PM PST by EODGUY

There's something fishy about this thread.

5 posted on 03/13/2002 12:48:04 PM PST by Khepera

There's something fishy about this thread.

Quit carping. :)

6 posted on 03/13/2002 1:00:24 PM PST by EODGUY

Scuse me, I musta ate a bad worm.

7 posted on 03/13/2002 1:01:16 PM PST by Khepera

Scuse me, I musta ate a bad worm.

You know what that causes.........baited breath. Badda Bing

8 posted on 03/13/2002 1:22:38 PM PST by EODGUY

I almost swallowed that hook,line a--- oh well.

9 posted on 03/13/2002 6:05:51 PM PST by herewego

10 posted on 03/14/2002 3:58:51 AM PST by EODGUY

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