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To: snowfox; cyber liberty
Being the lazy person that I am, I suggest using Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator

Let me demonstrate:

My complaint about Free Republic

I'm always glad to have the opportunity to speak openly, without fear of Free Republic twisting my words in a meddlesome attempt to exhibit a deep disdain for all people who are not unprofessional, contemptible prophets of Stalinism. By way of introduction, let me just say that I do not propose a supernatural solution to the problems we're having with it. Instead, I propose a practical, realistic, down-to-earth approach that requires only that I discuss the advantages of two-parent families, the essential role of individual and family responsibility, the need for uniform standards of civil behavior, and the primacy of the work ethic. Now that I've been exposed to Free Republic's values, I must admit that I don't completely understand them. Perhaps I need to get out more. Or perhaps Free Republic will break down ages-old institutions and customs because it possesses a hatred that defies all logic and understanding, that cannot be quantified or reasoned away, and that savagely possesses foolish vagrants with anti-democratic and uncontrollable rage. When I first heard about Free Republic's wheelings and dealings, I didn't know whether to laugh, because Free Republic's policies are so destructive, or cry, because Free Republic accuses me of being narrow-minded. Does it believe I'm narrow-minded because I refuse to accept its claim that anyone who resists it deserves to be crushed? If so, then I guess I'm as narrow-minded as I could possibly be. Free Republic's cult followers maintain that those of us who oppose Free Republic would rather run than fight. I say to them, "Prove it" -- not that they'll be able to, of course, but because those of us who are still sane, those of us who still have a firm grip on reality, those of us who still suspect that Free Republic is thoroughly unmovable by truth or reason, have an obligation to do more than just observe what Free Republic is doing from a safe distance. We have an obligation to fight tooth and nail against Free Republic. We have an obligation to think outside the box. And we have an obligation to stand as a witness in the divine court of the eternal judge and proclaim that bitter nepotism is merely a symptom of the disease called "Free Republic-ism". If Free Republic can one day beat plowshares into swords, then the long descent into night is sure to follow. Free Republic's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Free Republic's subordinates, who loudly proclaim that everything is happy and fine and good. Regardless of those narrow-minded proclamations, the truth is that if it bites me, I will bite back.

On the other hand, Free Republic should work with us, not step in at the eleventh hour and hog all the glory. When I'm through with Free Republic, it'll think twice before attempting to torment, harry, and persecute anyone who crosses its path. Free Republic's foot soldiers say, "All literature which opposes revanchism was forged by morally repugnant radicals." Yes, I'm afraid they really do talk like that. It's the only way for them to conceal that this is not wild speculation. This is not a conspiracy theory. This is documented fact.

Free Republic teaches workshops on onanism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp. What I just said is a very important point, but I'm afraid a lot of readers might miss it, so I'll say a few more words on the subject. I like to face facts. I like to look reality right in the eye and not pretend it's something else. And the reality of our present situation is this: We must reveal the truth about Free Republic's offhand remarks. If we don't, future generations will not know freedom. Instead, they will know fear; they will know sadness; they will know injustice, poverty, and grinding despair. Most of all, they will realize, albeit far too late, that Free Republic's goals coalesce with those of the worst types of politically incorrect nitwits there are. Am I aware of how Free Republic will react when it reads that last sentence? Yes. Do I care? No, because the biggest difference between me and Free Republic is that Free Republic wants to strip the world of conversation, friendship, and love. I, on the other hand, want to empower the oppressed to control their own lives.

Once you understand Free Republic's methods of interpretation, you have a responsibility to do something about them. To know, to understand, and not to act, is an egregious sin of omission. It is the sin of silence. It is the sin of letting Free Republic call for a return to that which wasn't particularly good in the first place. I have the strength, ability, desire, and courage to counteract the subtle, but pervasive, social message that says that fanaticism and anarchism are identical concepts. Do you? At the very least, it would be charitable of me not to mention that Free Republic's subalterns believe that those rights and protections which give us voice in a democratic society are the cause of unilateralism and social chaos and must be thwarted or dismantled. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity, so I will instead maintain that it preaches tolerance yet actively refuses to tolerate views that differ from its own. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to exemplify the principles of honor, duty, loyalty, and courage.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we lived in a world without the most neurotic dummkopfs you'll ever see? If Fate desired that Free Republic make a correct application of what it had read about imperialism, it would have to indicate title and page number, since the illogical organization would otherwise never in all its existence find the correct place. But since Fate does not do this, if you ever ask Free Republic to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. Ask yourself: What exactly is the principle that rationalizes Free Republic's dotty catch-phrases? I bet you'll answer the same way that I did, because we both know that someone has to be willing to provide some balance to Free Republic's one-sided conjectures. Even if it's not polite to do so. Even if it hurts a lot of people's feelings. Even if everyone else is pretending that Free Republic is a paragon of morality and wisdom.

It seems that no one else is telling you that Free Republic's allegations are totally lacking in empirical support. So, since the burden lies with me to tell you that, I suppose I should say a few words on the subject. To begin with, as our society continues to unravel, more and more people will be grasping for straws, grasping for something to hold onto, grasping for something that promises to give them the sense of security and certainty that they so desperately need. These are the sorts of people Free Republic preys upon. Free Republic is doing everything in its power to make me lose heart. The only reason I haven't yet is that I believe in the four P's: patience, prayer, positive thinking, and perseverance. All Free Republic really wants is to hang onto the perks it's getting from the system. That's all it really cares about. I have given this issue a great deal of thought, and I now have a strong conviction that if Free Republic can't stand the heat, it should get out of the kitchen.

As will become apparent quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "flocinauinihilipilification", only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to stop the Huns at the gate. But the first step is to acknowledge that its declamations are not just about snobbism but also about terrorism. No joke. In an atmosphere of false rumors and misinformation, Free Republic's arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial. All the same, Free Republic operates on an international scale to promote promiscuity and obscene language. It's only fitting, therefore, that we, too, work on an international scale, but to act as a positive role model for younger people. Even if one is opposed to ill-bred, conniving recidivism (and I am), then surely, what I just wrote is not based on merely a single experience or anecdote. Rather, it is based upon the wisdom of accumulated years, spanning two continents, and proven by the fact that I want to thank Free Republic for its ideologies. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how bookish Free Republic can be. There is absolutely nothing these contentious spongers will not do to destroy their enemies. They will poke into the most secret family affairs and not rest until their truffle-searching instinct digs up some uneducated incident that is calculated to finish off their unfortunate victim.

Free Republic insists that obscurity, evasiveness, incomprehensibility, indirectness, and ambiguity are marks of depth and brilliance. Sorry, Free Republic, but, with apologies to Gershwin, "it ain't necessarily so." Don't kid yourself: Mercantalism is dangerous. Free Republic's unforgiving version of it is doubly so. Even though Free Republic presents a public face that avoids overt separatism, I'll tell you what we need to do about all the craziness it is mongering. We need to break the mold and stray from the path of conventional wisdom. Socrates was condemned to death by the city of Athens for his views. I hope I don't receive the same treatment for saying that you may be wondering why temperamental malcontents latch onto Free Republic's ramblings. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why Free Republic's degeneracy has permeated the whole stratum of society. But what, you may ask, does any of that have to do with the theme of this letter, viz., that evil individuals are acting in concert with other evil individuals for an evil purpose? Well, while you're deliberating over that, let me ask you another question: Why doesn't it reveal the truth about itself? Now, not to bombard you with too many questions, but it is trying to brainwash us. It wants us to believe that it's lawless to compare, contrast, and identify the connections among different kinds of judgmental parasitism; that's boring; that's not cool. You know what I think of that, don't you? I think that Free Republic appears to have found a new tool to use to help it condone universal oppression. That tool is animalism, and if you watch it wield it, you'll undeniably see why it is a small part of a large movement that seeks to biologically or psychologically engineer obnoxious blathering-types to make them even more subversive than they already are. To cap that off, I once managed to get it to agree that I still wish briefly to take a position on the question as to what extent it fears nothing more than the truth. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, it did a volte-face and denied that it had ever said that.

In this crucial hour and under the treachery of our time, I must announce that I must, on principle, demonstrate conclusively that when someone bends knee to Free Republic's non-negotiable demands, it pushes and pushes for more. Yet it argues that no one is smart enough to see through its transparent lies. I wish I could suggest some incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning that would overcome this argument, but the best I can do is the following: In a tacit concession of defeat, it is now openly calling for the abridgment of various freedoms to accomplish coercively what its incompetent views have failed at. It has been said that none of Free Republic's "progressive" ideas have actually resulted in any progress. I, in turn, insist that if Free Republic had done its homework, it'd know that I try never to argue with it, because it's clear it's not susceptible to reason. There is no inconsistency here; we could opt to sit back and let Free Republic force us to do things or take stands against our will. Most people, however, would argue that the cost in people's lives and self-esteem is an extremely high price to pay for such inaction on our part.

Free Republic's lies come in many forms. Some of its lies are in the form of orations. Others are in the form of op-ed pieces. Still more are in the form of folksy posturing and pretended concern and compassion. It's easy for armchair philosophers to theorize about Free Republic and about hypothetical solutions to our Free Republic problem. It's an entirely more difficult matter, however, when one considers that it is trying to exploit the feelings of charity and guilt that many people have over the plight of the homeless. Their mission? To cast ordinary consumption and investment decisions in the light of high religious purpose. Because of Free Republic's snow jobs, our schools simply do not teach the basics anymore. Instead, they preach the theology of unpatriotic, wishy-washy favoritism. I close this letter along the same lines it opened on: Free Republic accepts -- or, at least, feels obligated to pretend to accept -- the ideological premises of nihilism.

11 posted on 03/11/2002 3:03:05 PM PST by Sir Gawain
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To: Sir Gawain;SeeRushtoldU_so, Cagey, TexAggie79
Man, you used up all the good words.......
13 posted on 03/11/2002 3:04:20 PM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: Sir Gawain
Computer-generated beauty. Pity nobody's gonna see it because it's in the "Stupid Forum...."
14 posted on 03/11/2002 3:05:24 PM PST by Cyber Liberty
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To: Sir Gawain
"flocinauinihilipilification"

sorry to be the one that has to tell you this, but "flocinauinihilipilification" is a trademark word, and you done break that mark, it appear to me. Ten cent fine!

24 posted on 03/11/2002 3:21:29 PM PST by Dakmar
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To: Sir Gawain
Ok. my turn :)
My complaint about Mr. John Q Public III I am not short on words, so please bear with the length of this letter. To plunge right into it, I find Mr. John Q Public III's demeanor and pomposity downright apalling. Well, that's getting away from my main topic, which is that he is always prating about how we should all bear the brunt of his actions. (He used to say that he is the ultimate authority on what's right and what's wrong, but the evidence is too contrary, so he's given up on that score.) I am not in any way placing the blame on him for repressive pinheads who leave a generation of people planted in the mud of a prudish, antihumanist world, to begin a new life in the shadows of antiheroism. That notwithstanding, he is still culpable for plotting to alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations. John's loyalists are too lazy to lift the fog from John's thinking. They just want to sit back, fasten their mouths on the public teats, and casually forget that John's shenanigans are based on a technique I'm sure you've heard of. It's called "lying".

Maybe some day, John will finally stop trying to utilize legal, above-ground organizing in combination with illegal, underground tactics to demand that loyalty to debauched pickpockets supersedes personal loyalty. Don't hold your breath, though. He bickers and argues over petty things. Of course, it's not that simple. Even though he insists that some people deserve to feel safe while others do not, I really believe that anyone with eyes and a brain can tell that he is the type of person who can look you right in the eye and, with an expression of the utmost sincerity, tell you any kind of whopper that suits his purpose. (Actually, he gives new meaning to the word "stinking", but that's not important now.)

If you can go more than a minute without hearing John talk about conformism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. There's a lot of talk nowadays about his ill-bred ploys, but not much action. When I was younger, I wanted to subject his snow jobs to the rigorous scrutiny they warrant. I still want to do that, but now I realize that some of the facts I'm about to present may seem shocking. This they certainly are. However, he has been deluding people into believing that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. Don't let him delude you, too. I have a tendency to report the more sensational things that John is up to, the more shocking things, things like how he wants to obfuscate the issue so that one can't see what ought to be utterly obvious to all. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. That said, let me continue. His notions manifest themselves in two phases. Phase one: dominate the whole earth and take possession of all its riches. Phase two: rip off everyone and his brother.

John contends that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. Sounds rather goofy, doesn't it? Well, that's John for you. The foregoing analysis is self-evident, even if it is sometimes overlooked. Less evident are the specific ways in which we should pave the way for people of every sex, race, and socioeconomic status to fulfill their own spiritual destiny. He should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery, specifically, his ego. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but you get the drift.

The problem with John is not that he's improvident. It's that he wants to ascribe opinions to me that I don't even hold. Under these conditions, his secret police are tools. Like a hammer or an axe, they are not inherently evil or destructive. The evil is in the force that manipulates them and uses them for destructive purposes. That evil is John Q Public, who wants nothing less than to intensify or perpetuate solecism. Mr. John Q Public III's policies violate the rational, enlightened claims of their own enunciatory modality. There, my ranting is finished.


whatever all that means.. my little brain got lost after the first paragraph :)
45 posted on 03/11/2002 5:51:28 PM PST by TxBec
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To: Sir Gawain;Sabertooth;Texaggie79
Sir Gawain, Thanks for link to Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator -- If you hit refresh in links below, you can get just the right touch for that special someone.

Here's a One paragraph on HRC

Here's a Two paragrapher on Joe

73 posted on 03/13/2002 5:58:40 AM PST by bwteim
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