Blonde Jokes?

[StockAyatollah]

Why do blondes where hoop ear rings?


They need a place to rest their ankles.

[Dallas]

Those are hilarious....

(Please note: I've refrained from contributing to this politically un-correct thread. I'm trying to impress the FR censors...)

[jws3sticks]

Here is a cutie pie blonde, working her way up the totem pole of life:

Her is the ol' Snow Bird, hisself:

Here's what drives the pour sucker:

[rintense]

Oh Lord... I'm beyond impressing anyone here on FR. What you see, is what you get. ;)

[BeerSwillr]

Why do blondes wear ponytails?

To hide the valve stem.

[Bellflower]

Actually, yes, my friend when I was a teen had reddish blond hair that she hated and dyed it dark brown. she's the only one I can think of though.

[babaloo999]

Blonde is at the doctor's office. He tells her she's pregnant. She say 'are you sure it's mine'?

[GoreNoMore]

Ditto... 20 years here! Damn great! Convinced my new bride she had to wear a crash helmet on the riding mower 20 years ago. Never sat on it ever again.

[qwert]

Ok here is a clean Blond joke: 2 Blondes walk into a bar giving each other high 5's. The bartender comes over and asks why they are so happy. Well, the 1st blonde says we do puzzles for fun in the afternoon, "so what"? says the bartender that is no reason to be so happy, oh yes it is we just finished a puzzle we got last week and it only took up 7 days. So what is so great about that ? well the first blonde looks at the bartender and says "on the box it said 14 years and up", and it only took us 7 days.... Ok Flame away !!!

[Big Guy and Rusty 99]

been there. done that. don't remember it.

[Big Guy and Rusty 99]

wahoo!

[Senator Pardek]

A blonde walks into a bar and orders a Heineken. She gets really drunk on it and proceeds to have "relations" with all of the sleazy male patrons.

The next night, she again orders a Heineken, and the same action ensues.

On the third night, she orders a Budweiser.

The bartender asks, "Why not a Heineken?"

She replies, "Because it makes my ***** hurt!!!"

[Alabama_Wild_Man]

OK - I'm in....
------------------------------------------------

This particular Blonde wanted a change in her life - so, she dyed her hair brown....
She felt so happy about it that she went for a drive up into the hills where she noticed a gentlemen herding a large group of sheep across the road.

She ran over to the Shepherd and asked "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, may I have one"?

The older fellow pauses and thinks...finally, he tells her "Sure, if you can tell me the exact number in my herd, you can take your pick".

Then this girl steps back and stares at the herd for about 15 seconds and tells the Shepherd "there are 379 sheep in your herd".

This completely stuns the Shepherd but, being true to his word, he says "This is exactly right. Now go pick out the one that you want".

She bounces off into the herd and, finally, picks up the one that seems to be the strongest, most energetic, one of them. She does have a little difficulty getting it back to her car, as it has no thoughts of leaving home.

Finally, the blonde gets it loaded into the back seat of her car, just about the same time as the shepherd walks over to her car.

He looks at her and then takes a look into the back seat....walks around to the Driver's window and taps on the glass. The blonde slides the window down and asks is there is anything wrong. The Shepherd leans over toward the open window and says "Ma'am, if I can guess your real hair color......may I have my dog back"?

[mlmr]

And the truth of the matter is each and every one of us would probably do ANYTHING an attractive blonde asked us to...without thinking.

Admit it...

Would you wash my windows? Pretty Please???

as blond as I can be.....mlmr

[FourPeas]

may I have my dog back"?

Far and away my most favorite blonde joke! Thanks.

[MoodyBlu]

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works. I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'me.... could I see your drivers license...?" "...What's a license...???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet..." replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration..." asked the cop. "Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a minute..." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back; "Ummm.... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes...." replied the officer. "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher "Uh... yes" replied the cop. "Here's what you do...." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants..." "WHAT!!? I can't do that. Its..... inappropriate..." exclaimed the cop. "Trust me..... just do it...." said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs....."Ohh no... not ANOTHER breathalyzer......"!

[fatima]

I do not understand this joe

[Joe 6-pack]

"Would you wash my windows? Pretty Please???"

Be right Over!!!!

[Aeronaut]

So, how do you drown a blond?

Place a mirror at the bottom of a swimming pool.

[Joe 6-pack]

"I do not understand this joe"

...And that is a tribute to your class, innocence and sweetness. Treasure your virtues, and don't allow me to be the one to undermine them by explaining it.

That you "don't get it" is a testament to the fact that you are truly a, "Lady," in the most genteel sense of the word, and I apologize for insinuating such vulgarity in your presence.

Don't be sorry you didn't get it...be proud of it.

J6P