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Blonde Jokes?

Posted on 11/09/2001 6:10:58 PM PST by Lower55

Any blonde jokes to lighten up the mood?


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:
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To: nagdt
Gray? :>)
41 posted on 11/09/2001 7:03:56 PM PST by RnMomof7
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To: Ole Okie
Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears, to attract men?


A: Their ankles.
42 posted on 11/09/2001 7:04:06 PM PST by midwestmidnight
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To: Lower55
A blonde get a call on her brand new cell phone. "Hi honey... how did you know I was at the mall?"
43 posted on 11/09/2001 7:04:36 PM PST by GoreNoMore
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To: GoreNoMore
Two blondes are standing on opposite sides of a river. One blonde yells to the other: "Hey, how do I get to the other side?" The second blonde yells, "Duh... you are on the other side!"
44 posted on 11/09/2001 7:12:48 PM PST by rit
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To: GoreNoMore
Did you hear about the blonde that stole a police car?

She saw 911 on the side and thought it was a Porche.

45 posted on 11/09/2001 7:13:53 PM PST by Doohickey
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To: alancarp
How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate-chip cookies?

All the M&M shells lying around.

46 posted on 11/09/2001 7:15:27 PM PST by firebrand
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To: Doohickey
If a blonde and a brunette each jump from a cliff at the same time, who reaches the ground faster? The brunette, as the blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
47 posted on 11/09/2001 7:16:15 PM PST by rot.com
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To: rit
Two blondes were driving to Disneyworld. When they got close, they saw a sign saying "DISNEYWORLD Left" so they turned around and went home.
48 posted on 11/09/2001 7:16:33 PM PST by Lower55
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To: Lower55
how do you make a blonde smarter?
turn her upside down.

Hey, I'm marrying a blonde tomorrow!

49 posted on 11/09/2001 7:17:14 PM PST by Big Guy and Rusty 99
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To: WackyKat
Ever noticed that the PC multicultural crowd never complains about blonde jokes or redneck jokes?

I have always wondered myself why they don't go after hair color, straight v. curly, long v. short; bodies that are tall v. short, fat v. skinny and add all of these and more in their crap (for lack of a better word)

After all, skin color just like hair type are both accidents of birth.
AND we have the "living" proof that skin color can be altered thanks to M.J.

This way, they could categorize human beings some more...
It is so absurd!

50 posted on 11/09/2001 7:17:40 PM PST by Curly007
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To: Lower55
A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble.
Her business has gone bust,
and she's in a serious financial mess.
She's so desperate thatshe decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray, "God, please help me...
I've lost my business and I'm going to lose my house as
well. Please let me win the lotto..."
Lotto night comes, and she is devastated when someone else wins it.

Brandi prays again..."God, please let me win the lotto!
I've lost my business, my house, and I'm going to lose my car as well..."
Lotto night comes, and Brandi still has absolutely no luck.

Once again, she prays. "My God, why have you forsaken me?!
I've lost my business, my house, and my car.
My children are very hungry.
I don't often ask for you to help, and I am a constant good servant for you...
PLEASE just let me win the lotto this ONE time so I can get my life back in order..."

Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open
and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself...

"Work with me here, Brandi. Buy a ticket!"

51 posted on 11/09/2001 7:18:24 PM PST by LisaAnne
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To: ßuddaßudd
Oh, I see how you people want to be...

The reason a blond likes tilt steering is that it gives her more head room.

"Attempts to stop activity will fill you with activity."

ßß

52 posted on 11/09/2001 7:18:42 PM PST by ßuddaßudd
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To: Lower55
Q: Why do blondes have square breasts?

A: They forget to take the Kleenex out of the box.

53 posted on 11/09/2001 7:19:15 PM PST by falfa
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To: falfa
Blonde mating call: I am sooooo drunk
54 posted on 11/09/2001 7:21:50 PM PST by rot.com
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To: falfa
bruntee mating call: Have the blondes left yet?
55 posted on 11/09/2001 7:22:20 PM PST by rot.com
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To: falfa
make that brunette
56 posted on 11/09/2001 7:23:12 PM PST by rot.com
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To: kachina
I have absolutely no idea why I pinged you.

Maybe I should ping DJ...

No nevermind.

5.56mm

57 posted on 11/09/2001 7:32:04 PM PST by M Kehoe
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To: Lower55
Did ya hear about the two blonds that died at the drive-in movies?

They went to see "Closed for the Winter"

58 posted on 11/09/2001 7:33:10 PM PST by poweqi
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To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
Hey I'm marrying a blonde tomorrow

shouldn't you be at a bachelor party or something.
59 posted on 11/09/2001 7:33:15 PM PST by mlocher
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To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
You're right to rest up tonite. I've been married to a blonde for 16 years and it's been one non-stop party since 11/2/85!
60 posted on 11/09/2001 7:36:07 PM PST by rot.com
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